At least call me "Miss"...

Friday Class

2012-01-13T14:16:00.002-05:00

Today - Class: NOON - 2:50 / Server (Close)

So, I just wrapped up my once-a-week class, which meets Fridays from NOON - 2:50, but I'm still getting used to the timing, so they were dismissed pretty early. It happens.

This class is soooo different from my Monday/Wednesday (MW). MW students are engaged, they are talkative, they are ready to discuss and share their opinions; whereas these Friday (F) students are a bit different. I do have three girls who sit up front who are engaged and ready to learn; there are also two boys who sit close to the front who are also trying to actively stay on task.

Like most first days, some students came to class without the textbook. Only three people actually had their books. Two of the "up-front" girls asked if they could go purchase their books before we got started, which I had no issue with.

Once the girls returned, I pulled up the Power Point and started diving into the chapter; there was a gentleman in the back of the room who was standing behind his chair. I asked him if he was okay, to which he replied that he was, but he still didn't sit. A few minutes later I mentioned how his standing was making me nervous. He informed me that he stands in all of his classes. "Good to know..." I replied. Who does this cat think he is?

I went over the Course Guidelines, which included the use of cellphones being prohibited, and a few minutes later, he was on his phone. I said, "Are you looking stuff up back there?" He quickly put his phone away (well, he hid it behind his pack).

He was sitting/standing next to a girl he clearly knew previously, and I instructed them to share a book, since Standing Man didn't have one. At one point, the class was asked to read a selection about Charles Darwin. When I noticed he wasn't reading, he said, "I don't have a book." I said, "Well, your friend does." He then took her book, picked it up, and put it directly under his nose, clearly showing that he could not read a selection while sharing. So, I promptly took my last semester's edition out of my bag and handed it to him.

I'm not messing around! This kid must think I'm someone to be played!

What a way to start the weekend! Ugh!

Tomorrow - Double: Server / Server

Faux Pas and Mind Tricks

2012-01-12T23:15:00.002-05:00

Today - Class 5:00 - 6:50

After a 3-week hiatus, the spring semester has begun. It was nice to have time off, but now I'm finding myself having difficulty adjusting to a new schedule.
So far, classes are great--they always start out with a glimpse of promise, then towards the middle of the semester, students start getting lazy, start trying to take the easy way out, and start trying to take advantage. I'm just hoping this honeymoon phase lasts a few more weeks.
I've met with two classes this week, and I meet with my third class tomorrow. I actually have a pretty nice schedule for now:

Monday - Class: 11:30 - 12:50
Tuesday - Class: 5:00 - 6:50
Wednesday - Class: 11:30 - 12:50 / Server PM
Thursday - Class: 5:00 - 6:50
Friday - Class: NOON - 2:50 / Server PM
Saturday - Server / Server
Sunday - off

I could probably serve more for right now, so I've been picking up Sundays, but once the assignments start rolling in, I'm going to need the extra time.

I've made adjustments to the vocabulary assignment, so I feel good about that so far. Except students really think I'm out to make their life miserable. The new assignment involves me providing them with a list of vocabulary words that correspond with the current chapter (or chapters, if we're covering more than one at one time). At the close of the chapter, the lists are due in the form of a log that I have provided for them. My Writing class's first vocabulary log is due on Tuesday, but they are starting Chapter 2 as part of their homework over the weekend, so I provided them with the Chapter 2 vocabulary list. One student today says, "So, we have to do the log for Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 by Tuesday?" I should've said "yes," but that would just be mean. Another student completed his Chapter 1 log already because he thought it was due today, even though it was not listed as part of the homework for this week (because it's not due until next week). It's like they want to make it harder on themselves. Whatever.

So two days in a row I've made faux-pas in class. Yesterday, I may or may not have offended my students' religious beliefs; although I think I'm over it. Today's faux-pa, however, I just can't shake. I'm sure the student won't look it up, but I hate when I give a fact off the top of my head, then I realize later that that fact is incorrect. I'm supposed to be their teacher for crying out loud! Then, I have to remember that I am human, and to exhibit humility illustrates that fact. I am allowed to be wrong. It's okay. If he does look it up, I will probably just play some Jedi mind-trick on him to make him think that I knew I was wrong all along; I just wanted to see if he would be curious enough to test me on it.

Ahh, the joys of teaching.

Tomorrow - Class: NOON - 2:50 / Server (closing)

Vocabulary Nightmares and Final Dreams

2011-12-07T12:51:00.005-05:00

Well, the end of the semester is near! I am currently in grading Hell, but I did it to myself. I gave deadlines too close together, so now I'm grading, not only vocabulary assignments, but also research papers, critical argument papers, and finals.
Many of my colleagues think I'm crazy because I format my finals in short answer and essay form. Many of my colleagues pride themselves on the multiple choice, scantron, finals, which makes it easy for the instructor, but it's like winning the lottery for the student--either you pick the right ones or you don't. I don't believe that multiple choice is a good assessment tool; therefore, I make them learn the information. Maybe that makes more work for me, but, overall, I'm proud of this decision.
I digress. The main point for this post is to share with my readers some of the things my students write about. I mentioned vocabulary assignments. Well, I gave my students a vocabulary assignment at the beginning of the semester. My Writing students had to come up with 50 over the course of the semester, and my Reading students had to come up with 100 (I am teaching two sections of each). Well, I learned my lesson. I did not tell them how many they had to turn in when, but I gave them a final deadline (Sunday 12/4 by midnight). I did it to myself. I reminded them weekly, but I held them to nothing, then I received a barrage of emails all day Sunday from those who decided to leave the assignment until the last minute. I have been grading so much vocabulary that I actually dreamed about vocab the other night--not to mention my dream about the final exams.
I am still grading vocabulary, and part of their assignment was to create new, original sentences from the words they defined. Some of the sentences are really quite amusing.
Here we go.

Word: Entrails
Sentence: My father had to get his entrails back.

Word: Solitary
Sentence: My mama kept me solitary from my pregnant friends because they're a bad influence in my life.

Word: Intoxicated
Sentence: An old man was intoxicated in the morning.

Word: Countenance
Sentence: The countenance of the person was funny when he fell in the dump.

Word: Damsel
Sentence: The girl looked old, but she was a damsel.

Word: Impale
Sentence: Needles are used to impale people's ears.

Word: Grapple
Sentence: The spy grappled himself.

This next one is funny because they had to tell me where they found/heard the word:
Word: Debt
Source: Myself
Sentence: I overdrew my credit card, so I was in debt.
**Needless to say, this student did NOT get credit for this word.

I actually thought I would have gathered more today, but they were pretty good. Vocabulary is finally done! I think I only have one more log to grade! Yay!

A Weekend of Weirdos

2011-12-04T18:42:00.002-05:00

In an attempt to take a break, not only from grading horrendous research papers, but also from thinking about this person who has been avoiding me all weekend, I'm going to try to reflect on some of the weird patrons I had the pleasure of waiting on this weekend.

1. Birthday Girl. I approach a 3-top (girl: approximately 20-ish, guy: approximately 20-ish, and woman: over 50-ish). They are friendly, and I ask the woman what she would like to drink. She replies with "Today's my birthday!"
Miss: Happy Birthday! Don't worry about us embarrassing you--we don't do that around here.
Lady: That's okay! Guess how old I am!
Miss: You're beautiful! I couldn't possibly guess!
Lady: [goading] Guess!
Miss: Really, I don't think I could possibly--
Lady: Guess! [points to girl] This is my granddaughter.
Miss: Well, I really don't know! Hmmm...55?
Lady: [beaming] ...65!
Miss: You are gorgeous! Happy Birthday!

$3 on $43 -- Great...

2. 2-top: Mom and son. Son is older, approximately 18/19. They are a little funny--weird.
Miss: Can I get you started with something to drink?
Mom: Do you have sweet tea?
Miss: Sorry, we only have unsweetened tea.
Mom: What about Raspberry?
Miss: Sorry, we only have unsweetened tea.
Mom: [chuckling] Oh, you just said that.
Miss: That's okay.
We work out the drinks, and I return to take their order.
Miss: Are you all set to order?
Mom: Well, I only get one thing when I come here, and I can't remember if it's enchiladas or the chimichanga (sp).
Miss: Well, since we don't have chimichangas, I'd have to say it's probably enchiladas.
This is only funny because they are regulars whom I've waited on before, and she took quite a bit of time with the menu. You'd think that if we offered chimichangas, they would be on the menu.

3. 4-top: All older women.
Miss: Ladies, can I get you started with drinks?
Woman: I need a large, large, large, large water, and extra, extra, extra lemons.
2nd Woman: I'll have that too.
Miss: We do have homemade lemonade, if you'd like.
2nd Woman: I need decaf.
Miss: Lemonade is decaffeinated.
3rd Woman: Yeah, it is decaf.
2nd Woman: Well, I need Splenda.
Miss: ... [brings them 2 waters, a pound of lemons, and Splenda...ugh]

4. 4-top: Dad, Mom, 2 small children (a boy and a girl)
Miss: Can I get you started with drinks? [mom and dad both order, then they turn to the kids]
Boy: Raspberry iced tea
Miss: Sorry buddy, I don't have Raspberry iced tea.
Boy: [eyes welled with tears, he turns to his father] Why did we have to come here??
Father: [to me] How about a Sprite?
Boy: [to father] I don't want a Sprite! I want Raspberry iced tea.
I ended up bringing him a Sprite, but he did not lift his head from his pout for the rest of their experience. He didn't eat, drink, or utter a word the entire time.

That's all I've got.

Later.

PS In the Spell Check process, it, of course, picks up chimichangas, and the suggestions are "shortchanges," "mechanics," and "shamanic." Too funny.

Not-so-Friendly Update

2011-11-29T20:16:00.002-05:00

Well...I got a response, but it was not the one I was looking for. He's pretty pissed. Apparently, I'm playing the victim. I'm trying to be open and honest with him, yet somehow I'm playing the victim and turning everything on him. He says I forget who I'm mad at--well, not only am I mad at him for ending a sentence with a preposition, but the intent of the first two portions of the email was to express how angry I was with myself for letting things go that far.
I felt as though my intent was smooshed by his ego or something. He described what he wanted in a friend, and all I read was "me," "me," "me" and then a finally a little bit about the other person. It's clear that it's all about him. He even said that he doesn't need this drama. That's funny! It's not like I'm calling him all hours of the night, texting him, blowing up his facebook, and talking smack. I've kept our relationship between us! WTF?? I don't want drama either, but I guess that's the price I pay for expressing my feelings.
This post is all up in the air. I'm stressed. I've been at work for nearly 12 hours, and I am ready to go home...and do more work. Great.

Tomorrow: Class 12:30 - 2:20 / 2:30 - 4:20

Friendly Upset

2011-11-28T14:02:00.002-05:00

I'm blogging about this here because making a Facebook status about it would most likely create some waves, and I pretty sure my friends are sick and tired of hearing me cry about this particular subject. Here goes.
I have a friend; one whom I consider to be close. We hang out once a month or so, and we are friendly, but not romantic. We both know that our personalities will clash in a romantic relationship, but we are still attracted to one another and, supposedly, we value our friendship.
Recently, I came to the realization that, although I was not "catching feelings" for him, I was waiting around for him to make some kind of move, even though we are not dating. It made me realize that I want something real, and, clearly, what we have is not real.
I approached him one day and told him that we needed to have a conversation. I wanted to discuss this realization face to face. I was closing the restaurant that night, which did not fit into his schedule, so I asked when we could get together to talk. He didn't really have an answer, but he did have a bunch of excuses about this own schedule, etc. that would force us to not see each other for a couple of weeks. So, I, passive aggressively told him that I would send him an email, rather than wait 2 weeks to get this off my chest. He didn't really have a rebuttal.
I waited four days, hoping that he would call, text, or write, but when he didn't, I started to evaluate our friendship a little bit. If my friend told me he wanted to have a conversation, I would do whatever it took to get in touch with him and let him know that I cared about whatever was weighing on his mind. When I got nothing, I realized that we weren't the kind of friends I thought we were. Then I got to thinking that everything had been on his terms, in his way, on his time, and I bowed in submission, just for that inconsistent closeness.
After four days, I wrote him a pretty long email...that was Sunday. On Tuesday Night/Wednesday morning, he responded saying that was the first time he had seen the message and he would respond, but he didn't have time at that moment. He assured me he wasn't ignoring me. Now, today, I still have yet to see a response. I almost wrote him and told him to not bother responding. I'm just happy to get that all off my chest.
What a piss-poor friend. I just feel duped. I feel like now that I'm calling the shots, he is pissed or feeling degraded in some way. He's been calling the shots for months now, so I decided to take the bull by the horns, and now he doesn't like it. That's what his lack of response is telling me. It just sucks because I don't want to lost him as a friend, but I think that's how this is going. I don't know. We'll see.
I just realized that this is the first time I have written about the Miss's life outside of the myriad occupations...whatever.

Class Cancellation

2011-11-21T14:25:00.002-05:00

So, I've decided to cancel classes on Wednesday b/c I know that I will have sporadic attendance, and because I just feel like it. I'm not sure what I'd do with them anyway. Regardless, today, I'm going over some upcoming due dates, important dates, etc., and I mention that I will be cancelling class on Wednesday. My "prize" student says, "What Wednesday?" I say, "Not tomorrow, but the next day." That clears it up, then I have another student say, "Wednesday, November 30th?" Now, why on God's green Earth would I cancel class NEXT Wednesday?? Besides, they already know that their research papers are due 11/30, so why would I cancel class when they have papers due? I have some winners, I tell ya.
I'm late to my 2:30...gotta go!

Hey, That Alpaca Bit Me!

2011-11-16T23:59:00.001-05:00

So, I have extremely vivid dreams that I typically record, but most of the time I don't need to because they stick in my head like memories I have from another dimension of the universe. Last night, I dreamed...
I'm taking midnight stroll, in a nightgown, through an expansive field, and I come upon a large river. There is a bridge to my left, and a rope swing in front of me. Even though the bridge is clearly the safer passage, I choose the rope swing. I take a leap of faith and barely make it across the muddy water. I walk up the bank to a path that leads through a pleasant wooded area. As I'm walking, peacefully, I hear some rustling in the brush off to my left. At first, I figure that it is a fox, and I think to myself that it won't hurt me--instead, it will probably just run off because it's more afraid of me than I am of it. I'm not nervous, until I realize that it's not a fox. Suddenly, an alpaca comes out of the brush, rushes towards me and bites me! He's an angry alpaca! I start off running, and he comes after me--in full chase! I run for a while before noticing there is a chain-linked fence off to my right and what seems to be a drop-off to a concrete landing of sorts. I decide to jump the fence in an attempt to escape the wrath of this alpaca. I land safely, in my nightgown and bare feet, and when I turn around to check the status of my pursuer, I see that he, too, has jumped the fence, like some sort of Billy Goat, landing on all fours mere feet behind me. I continue running away from this crazy alpaca, and now I'm back in a wooded area. Up ahead, I see what seems to be a map. As I approach, I see that it is, indeed, a map that is hand-drawn and colored in with crayons. It shows a cul-de-sac off to my right, that clearly has no way out, and up ahead is a picture of a carnival slide (the ones you slide down with a burlap sack). I head in that direction, but I wake before reaching any destination. I woke up this morning thinking of alpacas.

I typically look up key words or actions in my dreams, just out of curiosity. I have several Dream Dictionaries; however, I am well aware that our dreams are interpretations of our experiences and memories, and sometimes the definitions in the dictionaries have to be taken with a grain of salt. My dictionaries had nothing about alpacas (or llamas), but I did find some information online. Nothing about alpacas, sadly, mostly about llamas.

"To see a llama in your dream represents deep trust, strength and endurance. It may also mean that you are worrying too much and carrying too many problems."

"A Llama in dream may associate with socialised impulses, feelings or sexuality. But Llama in it's country actually is a beast of burden. So it may mean hardiness. Llama is a gentle animal, so it may bring you the message of gentleness in your attitude."

Tomorrow: Class - 8:30 a.m. - 9:50 a.m./Server - 5:00 - Close

Inspired by a Co-worker

2011-11-15T21:22:00.003-05:00

Today - Class: 8:30 a.m. - 9:50 a.m. / 6:00 p.m. - 8:50 p.m.

Today, on Facebook, a co-worker asked me for my blog address. I sadly admitted that I hadn't updated my blog in nearly a year. From that post, I was prompted to check my blog. I was surprised that it hasn't been quite a year, yet, but I am definitely rounding that bend.

Update: I am no longer a secretary! I am currently an adjunct instructor, teaching 4 English classes a local college. I am still working at the restaurant to make ends meet, but I am out of that hellish secretarial world that bogged me down for far too long. I definitely have some funny stories that I could share. So, perhaps I will pick up the blogging game again.

I hope this is a Welcome Back post, and not just a fleeting moment of updates...

Tomorrow (Wednesday) - Class: 12:30 p.m. - 2:20 p.m. / 2:30 p.m. - 4:20 p.m.

Tree House

2011-03-14T22:22:00.002-04:00

Well, my last post explained my absence because of some unexpected turns. Well, another one just hit. Literally. Thursday, March 10, a 90 ft, 5,000 lb Oak tree hit my little house. I was in the house at the time and thought the world was ending. It was really unbelievable. The house is still standing; however, I do believe the foundation suffered a pretty severe jolt. I've spent the weekend with family and friends, and my vagabond existence may continue if the damage creates an unsafe living environment. I'll keep you informed, but posts may be limited for a while. Keep checking in!

~Darby

Miffed

2011-03-01T23:59:00.000-05:00

Today (Tuesday): Secretary / Server

Because of the cloud I am sitting on, tonight wasn't as bad as it probably could have been. It was a slow Tuesday night. We did get a "push" around 6:30 or 6:45, but nothing to write home about. I did not have a full section once...oh, wait, I did.
Here's the story:
Crazy Girl (I've mentioned her before) was in a closing section that consisted of a big-top (6 people max) and three small-tops (4 people max). One of her small-tops was sat with her new boyfriend, an obnoxious hostess, and some other dude. Crazy Girl and I had a heart to heart a few days ago, so she approached me at the start of the shift, and asked me to come meet her new man. I didn't really care, because, honestly, I don't really consider Crazy Girl my friend. However, I do have a soft spot for her because I think she's one of those people who just doesn't know. She doesn't know how to act in social situations, she's wildly inappropriate, she's too trusting, she has a big mouth, and she has more of an attitude than I do most days. She's crazy. Because of this, I've made it a point to not hang out with her outside of work. I can barely handle her in work. A few months ago, she finally got my number out of me, and she called me pretty incessantly about random shit that would end up taking 40 minutes out of my day. I put her back at arm's length; however, I've still maintained the role as a friendly adviser. I don't hate her--I just know I have to be cautious with her. I digress...
She had a table at her her big-top (probably around 7:30), and they had been there for a minute. I noticed the woman from the table talking to the MOD (Manager on Duty), and I heard her describing her "plan" as I walked by. Turns out, her plan was that more people were joining her, and she needed a larger table. She was expecting three more to her party of five, and her plan was to move to my big-top (8 people max). Crazy Girl dropped some things off at my big-top (a beverage and a bar drink), and I turned to her and said, "You're keeping them, right?" She set the items on the table and said, "Nope," then walked away. I was taking care of my other tables, so I didn't follow after her. Once my tables were square, I walked up to Crazy Girl and she handed me a slip of paper with her chicken-scratch order. It is policy in our restaurant that if you start a table, you must finish that table. There are extenuating circumstances from time to time, but this time did not warrant an extenuation. For some reason MOD transferred them to me, which miffed me. If any other manager were working, that never would have happened. When I asked her why she was transferring them, she replied that it wasn't fair. What isn't fair? That she started the table, took their order, somehow managed to not ring it in; now, it's my table, cuts are about to go up, and she is closing? I'm not sure how fairness got brought into it. I approached MOD and explained to him more clearly what exactly happened. He said he forgot she was closing. Whatever.
It wasn't the fact that I had to take the party. It was actually pretty easy, since the order was already taken and the drinks had already been fetched. All I had to do was get drinks for the newcomers, take their orders, and deliver the food. They ended up boxing up most of their food, and they left pretty quickly. I had a $17 gratuity (plus $3 extra), so it worked out fine. My whole issue is that I felt it was a dirty move on Crazy Girl's part to get the party transferred when she was a closer. I was miffed because she ended up cleaning her section while I was waiting on her table. I just felt like she didn't want to deal with them, so she wanted to pawn them off. Because of my soft spot for her, I was going to try to approach her again before I left, but I decided against it. Some people just never learn.

Tomorrow (Wednesday) Secretary / Server (hopefully getting my shift covered)

Naughty Server

2011-02-28T22:52:00.002-05:00

Monday: Secretary *played hooky* / *off*

I haven't posted because life has taken some interesting and time-consuming turns. This month has been a roller coaster of sorts: one that has brought some things to light, and one that has presented me with certain aspects of myself and my personality that I think I'd like to change. I have become a bitter person. I believe I've become jaded. Not just through the service industry. This attitude expands into my personal relationships; consequently, I've been single for four years. I'm trying to make some changes, and make some moves to find happiness in companionship, rather than solitary autonomy. I definitely don't want to give up the independence that I have. I like that I don't have to answer to anybody. But I'm just beginning to admit that I would benefit from having a companion...someone to share experiences with. I don't know. Things happened this month that will never cease to amaze me, and will stay in my memory forever. Details are unimportant, but let's just say that this weekend has left me smiling ear to ear. It's about damn time.
Regardless, my bitterness is not something that is redeemable or endearing. It can be the source of great comedic material, but on a whole, I'm sure it gets old for the people I work with. I am very outspoken, although I do know how to be professional. Sometimes my emotions take over for my professional side and get me into some trouble. I know I've posted about this problem before.
I actually played hooky today, so I have no specific gripes. This weekend is a blur, so I have no server gripes either. Perhaps my smile will last throughout the week...

Tomorrow: Secretary / Server

Mini Reprieve

2011-02-09T23:58:00.002-05:00

Today: Secretary / Server

I didn't blog for a couple days because I just haven't had the time. I should really be getting to bed, so may be quick. My biggest *peeve* about the office (well, there are two), the first is a pretty big peeve. I'm sick and tired of instructors thinking that their only activity should be instructing and grading papers--maybe going to a conference or a meeting here or there. Otherwise all they do is complain. Correction: some of them complain. 85% of the people in our departments understand the "big picture," and know that there is more involved in working for higher education that just teaching. There is a huge burn-out rate in any teaching profession, I don't understand how some would think that higher ed would different. Regardless, there is a kind of resistance to anything clerical or administrative. I almost feel like a parent, disciplining small children. I'm the secretary, for crying out loud, and I have to follow-up with you for paperwork you've had for two months? As instructors, they get pissed when students don't follow directions or get things in by the deadline, but as instructors, they somehow think it doesn't apply to them. I wrote an email to an instructor at the beginning of last week, asking if I could be of any assistance processing the necessary paperwork that she's had in her possession since January 12th. She didn't even respond to my email. She said nothing to me regarding any of it. Yesterday morning they were on my desk. It's fucked up, really.
The other little *peeve* is listening to other people's stories. A lot of people who walk in the office seem to think that the secretaries need and want to hear their entire life story. Because we're just secretaries? I don't know. Sometimes we need specific information to better serve the student, but general information is usually sufficient. For example, I had a student come in yesterday:
Miss: Hello. May I help you?
Student: I have to turn in this paper to Mrs. K.
Miss: [standing, and reaching for a notebook] I'm going to have you sign it in. (We have students sign-in when they drop off paperwork to document the receipt of said document. We ran into an issue last semester when a student kept saying that she "gave her work to the secretaries" but it never reached the instructor.)
Student: [filling out the sign-in sheet] Yeah, I was sick and she said that I could email it to her.
Miss: [confused, silent]
Student: [still filling out the sign-in sheet] I couldn't even get out of bed. She said I could email it, but when I tried, I kept getting an error message. I don't know if she got it, but I thought I would just drop it off. I'm behind on other assignments now.
Miss: [taking the notebook, replacing on the shelf] I'll be sure she gets it. Feel better. [heads into the Copy Room to escape gabbing germy.]
She wasn't even as bad as some people I've experienced. I just have to say this: I generally don't care. When I was teaching, I also did not care about your story. We all have a fucking story. (I made myself think of George Carlin just then. I've been watching a lot of him lately, and I've decided that he and my mom had a love affair in the late 70s, and I am really George Carlin's love child.) We all have a fucking story. The fact that she told me her story did not make my job or the way in which I performed my job go any differently. I did not change a thing, knowing that she had been sick and was supposed to email it...or whatever. I still put the time/date stamp on the girl's assignment and put it in the appropriate instructor's mailbox. If she had simply told me she wanted to drop something off and sign the book, I still would have put the time and date stamp, etc., etc.
When I was teaching I had strict policies on deadlines, etc. I don't care if your dog ate it on the way to school while you were changing a flat tire. Telling me that did not help the assignment appear. Telling me that just made me annoyed that you spent the time thinking of that excuse because you just don't have your work. Here's how it will go:
Miss: Henry, do you have your assignment?
Student: No, Miss, I do not.
Miss: Turn it in tomorrow by noon for a 20% reduction.
Is that so hard?
Miss: Can I help you?
Student: I'd like to drop off this assignment for Mrs. K.
Miss: Sign it in please.
Student: [obliges]
I just think people think that everyone cares about them. I do not. I do not care why you can't get your shit together and remember your appointment. I do not care that that instructor won't let you add his/her class. I don't care that your dad is the security guard and you think you're hot shit. I just don't care. I have work to do! My job does revolve around the opening and closing of the door, but unfortunately, it is much more than that. When you go into the doctor's office for a check-up, and you're waiting in the reception area, do you strike up a conversation with the girl behind the counter? No! That's why some waiting areas have those little windows. They have work to do, and sitting around talking to people all day will NOT make the "To Do" list shorter. State your business, and take care of it--and only tell me the pertinent information.
Thank you.

Tomorrow: Secretary / Server

Good Intentions

2011-02-05T13:34:00.003-05:00

Today: *Off* / Server (closing!)

I had every intention of blogging about the office today, but I'm scheduled at the restaurant soon. So, I've decided that I'll post about the office tomorrow sometime, to avoid getting "all fired up" before work tonight. For the next few hours, I'm going to relax and enjoy myself.

Much-Needed

2011-02-04T16:28:00.002-05:00

Thursday: Secretary / Server

Friday (today): Secretary / *Off*

So, funny thing...I worked last night, but decided not to blog because it was pretty late by the time it was all said and done. I figured I'd have time this afternoon, since I wasn't scheduled and didn't really feel like picking up a shift--so sue me (I can't pay you anyway.) Back to the "funny thing." I should have blogged. I totally should have blogged. Focusing on this task has shown me its importance.

Thursday Night: Server
The night started out just fine. I was in a great mood, and my section buddy was Daisy, my BFF! Great way to start the night. We weren't scheduled on until 5:30, but the restaurant had started to fill, so we told Big D (the MOD) that we were ready. They immediately came back and pretty much flat-sat our sections. No problem. Apparently it had been dead during lunch, so I welcomed the business. My section was two "small tops" (max 4 people) and two big-tops (max 6 people). Great. Except for the fact that we didn't have any "small tops" on the wait. I asked if I could split up one of my big tops (to make 2 smalls...), which I was permitted and, therefore, had a 5-table section. Even better. Now, I had 4 small-tops and one big. My first big-top was sat with a family of four, but I was okay with that (at least I had a table!). They were a family: father, mother, older brother, younger sister, and it appeared that the father spoke very little English, and the mother did not speak English at all. When I was taking their drink order, the father was verifying English terms with his son. The father was interested in ordering a margarita. He asked "flavor?" So, I sold him on a strawberry margarita "on ice." The older brother ordered food for the table, and the younger sister ordered her own dish. I delivered their food and made sure they were okay. I went into the kitchen for some sour cream (for another table), and when I returned, it had appeared that something what happening. Tables in my section and tables in sections around me were focusing on the father from my table who appeared to be stumbling a bit as he got up from his table. He was walking down an isle of tables, toward the server station, which was where I was standing, having just come from the kitchen. He was headed in my direction with his son following closely behind. I was observing the fact that all eyes were on him, but I had no idea, really, about what was going on. In that split second, I turned back to look at the father--he was looking right at me, and at that moment, started to collapse. His son was not very fast-acting, and the father was headed for a smack on the hard-wood floor, so I stepped forward to stop/slow his fall--completely forgetting about the sour cream in my hands: it went down with him. As he fell, his eyes rolled back in his head, but by the time he was on the floor, he was trying to talk, so he did not lose consciousness. A woman from one of my tables was a nurse, and she immediately stepped in. Others were stepping in too. All five of my tables were involved, and one table from another section. The old man from my small-top was elevating the man's feet, there was the nurse, of course; another table of women had to stand because of all the bodies surrounding their table, and the family of four (mom, dad, older sister, little brother) helped by calling 9-1-1 and little brother timed the ambulance on his dad's phone. What a good Samaritan. I was totally freaked out, and totally overwhelmed. There were people asking for all kinds of things. Meanwhile, the father was trying to get up, the son was acting weirdly aloof, and the sister and mother were still sitting at the table. When the sister and mother finally got up to see what the fuck was going on, the sister was actually laughing. I had to walk away. I could not be around there. There was nothing I could do--I already softened the guy's fall. Quickly, the ambulance arrived and took the man out on a stretcher. I don't know if he was having a heart attack, that's what some were saying, but based on the behavior of the family, I'm wondering if he was shitfaced. It's just a thought. My other thought is that maybe he's on some kind of medicine that doesn't like being mixed with tequila. Maybe he's one of those people who think that the warning labels don't apply to them. Who knows? All I know is that he only had less than half a margarita on my watch. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell if he was slurring when he arrived because of his accent. He hardly spoke English enough to order a drink! I'm not worried about being liable, but with those ABC classes, you have to think about that kind of stuff! Totally freaky! The rest of the night is kinda blurry because of that whole thing. They hadn't taken one bite of their food. Of course we comped it, but still. Totally weird.

That was my much-needed post from last night, and I have a much-needed post from today at the office, but that will have to wait until after my dinner date (so, possibly tomorrow sometime).
:)

Just Enough

2011-01-29T23:59:00.001-05:00

Today: *Off* / Server (closing)

I was originally scheduled to open today, but I preferred a night shift, so I switched mid-week. I was hesitant, because it was a hit-or-miss 3-table section: it has a (potential) 10-top and two small-tops (four people max).
When I first came on, I only had one table available, which was sat immediately. I like nights that start off quickly: they make the night go by so much faster. The other two tables ended up sitting for almost an hour after I got there, which was a pretty slow start to my night. As soon as those tables got up, it started rolling. Eventually, things were moving pretty quickly. We were definitely busy. I think my big-top only got sat twice, but I made $20 bucks off each. In addition, I shared a big-top with another server, and we ended up making $30 EACH. Great!
The night went relatively smooth. Although, first thing, the girl in the section next to me, dropped an entire glass of water down this woman's back. The bussers had butterfingers, and so did a few of the servers. I do have a patron pet peeve that I'd like to share. The section I was in tonight is positioned directly next to the host stand. Right in front of my section, next to the front door, is a computer desk with a POS, printer, napkins, etc. When we go on a wait, there is a lobby, but that fills quickly. We also have a little foyer that people stand in, but sometimes people stand right next to the computer table. When done tactfully, this is not a problem. Tonight was not as obnoxious as other nights, but at one point a group was standing directly in front of the computer table. Because the computer is there, it is a heavy traveled area, so every time we had to pass, we had to remind them that we were on our way, "Excuse me, folks..." I say with a tray full of drinks for my 10-top. The Stupid Group had a Stupid Man who was standing more in the way than any of his friends. Stupid Man kept grunting and huffing, sometimes scoffing when we excused ourselves through the pathway to the computer and our tables. One of my tables is positioned on the other side of the computer table and when they got up, Stupid Guy decided he'd be less in the way standing next to that table. It doesn't occur to him that another table will be sat there immediately, and he will, once again, be in the way. Finally, their table was called, and another Stupid Group took their place. This Stupid Group had a Stupid Girl, and she decided that the computer station was a good place for her ass to rest while she waited. This really pisses me off, so I make drastic, passive aggressive movements, such as shifting the computer in order to give me safe distance from her ass, and moving the printer. At one point, I was arriving with another round of drinks for my 10-top, so I actually asked them if I could use this workspace for just a moment. I made sure to emphasize "workspace." The only thing I can think of when this particular peeve affects me, is that if one of these corporate suits was trying to move through his/her day and someone was sitting on their desk, would that be appropriate? Do you go into the doctor's office, and if the seats are full, do you sit on the receptionist's desk? I think not! Why in the world would my computer desk be an appropriate place for you ass? They got the hint with the wobbly tray of bar drinks, but still. Do you really need to be reminded that people are working? I don't know. I think my two Natural Disaster (snow) Days really helped. If I hadn't had those, I'm sure this post would be extremely different.
As I said, I closed. We close at 11, so I always start cleaning up around 10:30. At 11, we sill had six tables in the restaurant, and one dude at the bar. So we did what we could, clean-up wise, and slowly the tables started to leave. Great. By 11:30, there was only one table, a 2-top, who had been there for over 2 hours. We did everything. Finally, at 11:45, my manager told us we could put up the chairs, so we started in the back...did a few sections...took out the trash...threw out the empty beer bottles.....swept....put up a few more sections of chairs.....did some more stuff....put up some more chairs....we started putting chairs up in the section next to them (actually, I was not putting up chairs at this time, the other closers were), but they didn't get the hint until all the chairs were up around them. Unbelievable. It's a last resort to put the chairs up around a sitting table, but come on! We had been closed for nearly an hour! We were ready to go!
Overall, I made just enough to make rent, which was the primary objective.

Tomorrow: *OFF* :)

Got That Shift

2011-01-28T23:59:00.000-05:00

Oh, the power of social networking sights. Facebook came in handy yet again. I posted a "shift wanted" add on my status today and had a response in minutes. It was only a 3-table section, but it was all small-tops, so I figured I could rock the house. Unfortunately, there was no house-rocking. The night started off slow. Initially, I was sat with a 1-top, then I was sat with a regular family who, are pleasant, are definitely not good tippers (and they leave a disaster behind). Not a great way to start the evening.
When I arrived, the President of the company was there, so everybody was on his/her toes. The MOD (Manager on Duty) kept asking people to sweep, so eventually, I just walked around aimlessly with a broom, searching for anything to sweep up.
After the suit left, the dining room finally filled up, but since I was rocking three tables, I was relatively bored all night long.
I was dropping food for the kid who gets weeded with two tables, at a 6-top of regular patrons. I recognized them immediately, and the woman who leads the pack is a complete and utter biotch. Her initials are ME, which are very appropriate considering her "But, I'm 'ME'" attitude. Because it was a 6-top, the order is rung in on two separate checks. This rule eliminates ridiculously long checks and helps the runners to not have to put too much food on one tray. If it can't fit on one tray, ring it in on two checks. Five items per check. Anyway, the second portion of the check came out first. On the tray was the food check for the table, one fajita with the fixins and taco salad and a side of fries. As soon as I "greet the tray" I hear ME hollering, "Who got fries?! Who got fries." No one was answering her, so I said, "No worries, Miss, we'll figure it out." I delivered the fajita to the woman sitting to ME's right. When I set it down, she looked at her friend and says, "Who's is that?" Well, for Fuck's sake, if it's not yours, then it must be the person sitting next to you. I continued to drop the food while the Weeded Server played stupid on the computer. I delivered ME's fajita with her fixins and she immediately dumped her entire portion of cheese on her fajita, looked at me and said, "This skillet isn't sizzling. It's not melting my cheese." I replied, "Would you like me to take it back for you?" "If you wouldn't mind...and, if no one claimed the fries, you can leave 'em, someone will eat them." Miss thoughts: Uh, fuck you bitch, you will not be getting fries for free when you're being such an ass. I promptly took the cheese-covered fajita skillet and the side of fries to the kitchen. They gave her a hot skillet, and scraped her cheeseness off on to the new one, then doused the skillet with this oil/spice mixture that creates the steam. I take it to her, and low and behold, the woman next to her has a cold fajita too. Weeded Server is still finding his way through the thick, and I'm being taken from my tables to deal with this schmuck. So, I take the other skillet back, get a manager, and finally see Weeded Server. I ask him if he can take his fajita, to which he replies in a huff, "Uh, no, but it's cool, just go." Well, the second fajita was fixed by then, so I took it out. A manager was at the table, and I heard ME complaining about the dirty rice, and how it was cold. The manager said, "Miss, did you taste it?" ME said, "Uh no, but the bowl is cold." MOD said, "The bowls are not kept warmed, miss, but the rice is. If you taste it and it's not to your satisfaction, I will deliver a another side for you" (or something to that affect).
It only gets better. Later, much later, I went outside to take out the trash. I got locked out from the backdoor, so rather than piss of the Ogre kitchen manager, I opted to go back in through the front door. As I approached the door, two gentlemen from ME's table were talking very closely with two other gentlemen. It seemed as though ME's men were interrogating the other guy. Come to find out, the Other Guy was from the table sitting right next to ME's table. Apparently, Other Guy didn't like ME and her gang, so at one point, he walked passed her and called her a "hag." At that, ME starting spouting off all kinds of derogatory things to these people. ME's Men supposedly followed the Other Guy out of the restaurant and started threatening them and beating on their car windows. I'm not really sure of the outcome. I know the police were not bothered, and I know that ME and her gang sat for an extremely long time. They were there long after Other Guy's table left. I'll get the scoop tomorrow.

That's all the excitement I can muster for tonight.

Tomorrow: *Off* / Server (Closing)

What a Waste

2011-01-27T23:59:00.001-05:00

Today: *College Closed* / Server

The college closed today, which extended my little reprieve, so I didn't mind one bit. I didn't even mind that I had to work at the restaurant this evening...and I was scheduled to close. This didn't bother me at all. What bothered me was that I made fifty lousy bucks! No one came out! The roads were clear! The sun did a marvelous job of melting most of the snow, but still no one ventured out to the cafe! I am still a little miffed.

The shift was fine, because the staff wasn't too bad...minus a select few. There is this (relatively) New Guy who thinks he is the shit, but not a soul likes him. He's a huge slacker, yet when he walks passed people he says things like, "You're doing a great job." He is a total tool box, and he is really obnoxious with his tables. I heard him one day thank his table for coming to McDonald's. Of course he was joking, and his table got a kick out of it, but how weird is that? It's almost like he was putting the restaurant down, but maybe they had a little bit of an inside joke or something. He fucks up so much too. Like tonight, he apparently rang credit cards for the wrong amount, and when the manager went to help him, he saw that New Guy's table had written the totals and the credit cards on the back of the check. How much easier can you get? Idiot. He was a closer tonight (there were four of us total, plus an extra because one of the closers was giving a ride to another server, so she stayed to help), and he did absolutely nothing.
When we go "down to closers" each closer has two sections (8 table max). Usually, closers are already in their Closing Section, but tonight was a little different. My good friend, Daisy, was closing with me, and her section got moved after cuts. New Guy took over her section, in addition to the one she ran all night long. We had maybe five tables in the restaurant, and New Guy went up to Daisy and said, "Hey, can you sweep 144? It's a mess, and I have tables around it...it doesn't look good. I started to sweep it but remembered it wasn't my table." Really? You're so concerned about guest perception, sweep it! It's now your section, right? What an ass.
He then proceeded to stand at one table for about 20-min texting. He put up approximately 5 chairs, and took out a bag of linens. The guy is literally good for nothing. What a tool.
About a month ago, I closed with him. I always take initiative to start closing early to get a jump on the work. By the time the restaurant closed, there wasn't too much left, so I said to New Guy, "Hey, you mind putting up the chairs for us girls?" I was saying this in a way to make my request sound sweet. His response:
"I've been here for four months."
Miss: (confused) ...Um...Okay. What does that have to do with it?
New Guy: I've closed before, and I've seen girls put up the chairs.
Miss: Okay, then, let me rephrase, Why don't you do something to help your fellow-closers. You can start with the chairs.
With that, I walked away, afraid if I had to converse with him any longer, for fear that I would kick him. I'm trying to figure a way to "phase him out," but so far, all efforts have been in vain.

On a funny note, I mentioned how my friend Daisy worked tonight. Well, she loves kids. She one of those girls who "goos" and "gaas" over little babies (I loath them). Tonight, she had an 8-top with a baby, who was probably four or five months old. When Daisy initially greeted the table, they were removing the little girl from her little car seat. Well, Daisy was excited to see this cute little thing, and when the child emerged, Daisy squealed, "Oh, Hello!" The child immediately burst into tears. The table thought it was hysterical, and so did Daisy. Every time she returned to this table, that child cried. So much so, that the parents removed her from the table at one point. After that, the father was holding the child and covered her face whenever
Daisy approached. I really got a kick outta this.

Tomorrow: Secretary / *Off* (GOING IN TO TRY TO PICK UP A SHIFT!)

I Owe It All to Mother Nature

2011-01-26T08:45:00.002-05:00

Today: Secretary (called out!) / *off*

Because of Mother Nature, my working stint has come to a close. After 24 consecutive days working, Mother Nature dumped buckets of snow on us, and I am officially snowed in. I'm sure I could trek my way into work, but considering the ill-preparedness of my state, I refuse to take the time and energy to drive to work when I know the treachery is out there. My state doesn't pre-plan ever. In fact, the college had a one-hour delay last week for freezing rain. It dumps snow balls and everyone's supposed to be in on time?? Forget about it. Before Christmas, we got less than an inch of snow, but because my state doesn't like to fund street clean up it took me 4 hours to get home (a commute that usually takes me 20 minutes). Unreal. Therefore, I've decided to save myself and everyone else the aggravation by just staying home.

Now I don't know what to do with myself....

Tomorrow: Secretary (probably not b/c we're getting more snow / Server (we don't close unless there's a State of Emergency!)

Tuesday Snoozeday

2011-01-25T22:50:00.002-05:00

Today: Secretary / Server

The office is particularly annoying to me this week because I think I've mentally checked out. I'm tired of instructors complaining and not taking care of their administrative responsibilities because they think it's beneath them. Their resistance to this aspect of their position makes me irate, and it personally affects me. It's hard to go into specifics because of the nuances of the office, but I think you can get the gist of my frustration.

The restaurant was a little busy tonight with a 38-top in the dining room and a 20-top camped out at the bar. However, my big-top (6-8) was only at once...with a 5-top, and I had campers all night long. At one point, I had a 3-top of young-ish kids (maybe 20 or 21), two girls and a guy. They were very kind, but they sat for a little while after they paid. The guy paid: $2.50 on $25! Are you kidding?? I just can't believe the ignorance. I wonder if he just couldn't figure out the math or if he just doesn't know how to tip! Unreal.

Today I had a woman order one of our salads that features a choice of shredded chicken or beef. The description mentions this as well as the myriad ingredients that make up the culinary concoction. She and her companion were digging in, when I saw her wave at me. I go over and she picked up a fork-full of shredded chicken and says, "I ordered chicken. Is this chicken?"
Miss: Yes ma'am! Our chicken is pre-marinated and shredded.
Lady: Oh, yeah? Last time I came here I got the beef and it looked like this too.
Miss: Both the chicken and beef are shredded...You can request grilled chicken or beef if your prefer. Is the salad okay for you?
Lady: It's delicious! I just didn't know it came like this.
Miss: Enjoy your meal.

My last table of the night was a mother/daughter duo. When I approached the table, I set down a basket of chips and salsa, the mother put her hand on her chest and said, "Wow!"
Miss: I'm sorry if I startled you!
Mother: We just sat down and you brought us chips!
Miss: I'm sorry, Miss, I can check back if you'd like. (I call all females "Miss" -- if they're old, I'm pretty sure they get a kick out of it.)
Mother: No it's just, we just sat down, and you brought chips.
Miss: [totally confused] Umm...it's how we greet the tables, Miss. Can I get you started with drinks?
Weird. I don't know if she was impressed that we offered complementary chips, or if she was confused that I brought them without her having to request them. Either way, it was just a weird way to start the table.

Pretty laid back evening overall.

Consecutive work count: 24

Tomorrow: Secretary / *Off*

'Tis a Pity

2011-01-24T12:22:00.003-05:00

Today: Secretary / *Off*

Today I am having a pretty serious pity party for myself, and you all are invited!! Today is my 23rd consecutive day of work, and I'm pissed about it. If I'm not at the office, I'm at the restaurant.
I have this thing that I've done for my whole life, whether it be for school or work, which is to ask my Voice of Reason (my mother) when I can take personal days. It's not a permissions type of a thing, it's a Jiminy Cricket kind of a thing. Usually, she's pretty objective, and she knows how hard I work, so she will tell me that I deserve a Mental Health Day. Most of the time, she tells me to "buck up" and take it like a man. We all work hard for a living.
Well, she's getting annoyed with me because every Sunday of this month, I have asked Jiminy if I can call out on Monday. She's totally right when she says that I'm trying to get ahead and by taking a day off from the office, I'll set myself back financially. I don't get paid days off. It sucks. Once upon a time, I thought mental health was more important than the all-mighty buck. I know that taking a day off isn't a crime, but why do I feel like such a criminal for not wanting to come to work??
So, I'm sitting here, at the office, waiting for the time to come when I can run out of here screaming. Just to turn around and come back tomorrow. Looking at my schedule, I work seven days again this week, so my next possible day off won't be until February 6th.
I brought the pity; now, you bring the party.
FML

Data Collection Results: Week 1

2011-01-24T11:49:00.003-05:00

This week, I collected data to determine if waiting tables averages me more per hour than secretary-ing. The results from this week are in. I worked four shifts this week, and although I averaged different amounts each night, my cumulative average for the week was $15 an hour. Not too shabby.

Making Up for Lost Time

2011-01-23T23:21:00.001-05:00

Today: Server / *Off*

Last night I closed, and this morning I picked up an open, so the in-between did not give time for blogging.

Last night was pretty busy, although I didn't walk away with as much as I would have liked. We started off pretty slow, but soon filled up, then it died kinda hard. Cuts went up early, maybe around 9:45-ish, and I only had one table after cuts went up.
I started cleaning what I could around 10:30. Around 10:45 I heard the front door open, and I turned to find a rather large man with a bandanna at the host stand. I approached him, and he asked, "How late ya'll open?"
Miss: Our kitchen closes in fifteen minutes.
Bandanna Man: Aww, so ya'll ain't makin' no more food, then huh?
Miss: Sir, the kitchen is open until 11:00. If you can order in the next five/ten minutes, there shouldn't be a problem.
Bandanna Man: Aww, well it'll prolly take 'em that long ta figure out what they want.
Miss: (shrugs her shoulders) I don't know sir.
With that he turns and leaves the building. I continued cleaning, getting ready to close. I took out the trash (or something) and when I returned, there were 7 people being sat. I was floored. That man promptly went to the parking lot and got his entire family. The server (E) was miffed--I wouldn't have been very nice to these people. As she was making their drinks she told me that they were still waiting for two more people. Are you kidding me? She told them they had to order in five minutes with or without the other members of the party. I found out later that the other two people who came late did not order because they arrived after 11. I guess it's because I'm in the industry, but I would NEVER go into a place when there was only fifteen minutes before closing, especially with my entire family. The kitchen got the food out in record time.
In other news, last night pissed me off because the MOD (manager on duty) was on my proverbial nuts. I said those exact words to him after close, and he informed me that he was frustrated because he feels everyone half-asses things around here. You think? Of course they do, that's the example they've been given. No one stays consistent and no one follows through with any of the new initiatives unless the "suits" say so. I'm over it today, but last night, he just would not leave me alone! Apparently, he was on everyone's nuts.

Today I woke up in a funk, and I snapped at my BFF, and for that, I'm truly sorry. Funny thing, is that she likes it when I funk out because she says I'm snippy and a little bit funny. I don't know. All I know is that I woke up this morning having absolutely no desire to get out of bed. I did not want to go to work. I'm glad I did. It was worth picking up, although it was pretty slow.

I'm going to try to get to bed early so tomorrow is not so tough.

Monday: Secretary / *Off*

Short and Sweet

2011-01-21T23:19:00.000-05:00

Picking up tonight was clutch. I was in a 4-table section: three small-tops (max 4 ppl) and a big-top. I came on early (5:20) and was immediately given a table, followed by another, and another. Triple-sat right off the bat. Not a bad way to start the evening. (It's best to get busy early on so the night flies by, in my opinion.) They were holding my big-top for a 12-person party, which I wasn't too happy about because we have to split parties of 10 or more. As it turned out, I was sat with a 9-top instead. This worked out perfect because I didn't have to share the table. Well, the host-stand (actually the new GM) annihilated me, continuously seating my other tables. After the 9-top got their food, I got caught up, and things started to slow down. The 9-top ate, they all ordered drinks initially and continuously throughout their meal. Great. They ate, ordered another round, I cleaned up, boxed their food, they ordered another round, some people left, and those who were left ordered another round. They were seated at approximately 6:00, and five of them were still sitting around drinking at 9:00. Then another person joined them. They had it planned all along. The knew they were going to sit and wait for this other chick. Luckily they continued ordering, or I would've been pissed (however, one of the girls at the table was on her 9th Jack and Diet, which I thought was a bit much. She wasn't acting crazy though, so I didn't feel the need to cut her off.) They left me $10 over gratuity in the end, so it worked out beautifully.
Other than that, I had rather pleasant tables. Some were not very good tippers, but sometimes pleasantries go farther than pennies when you work in an industry full of jerk-off assholes who think they know what it's like to work hard for a living. Wait tables. Scratch that: Secretary.
I actually had a table compliment me to the manager, which is rare. That's what the MOD (Manager on Duty) said too. Generally, it's those patrons who are upset that will complain to management. Complements on the service are few and far between because those who leave happy don't see the need to bother the manager or tell the server. So, it was nice.
Overall, a profitable and relatively easy evening.
I'm hoping the same for tomorrow night's shift.

Tomorrow: *Off* / Server

A Prime Example

2011-01-21T14:46:00.003-05:00

Today: Secretary / Server (I got a shift!)

In an effort to stick to my plan, I'm posting now, rather than later. I just finished my "shift" at the office, but I have an interesting story from the day.

Around 11:30 this morning, the phone rings:
Miss: Good Morning, This Department.
Student: Yes, I was calling to see if Mrs. DC (Department Chair) was available to meet with me today. I'd like to get signed into a course.
*Side note: The semester started two weeks ago. Today is the last possible day to add classes, and at this point, a lot of instructors are not allowing adds because those classes that meet twice a week have already met four times; therefore, any late students have two weeks of work to catch up on in addition to the new material. It doesn't set students up for success if they add a class too late in the game.
Miss: Unfortunately, Mrs. DC is going into a meeting. The meeting is scheduled to end at 12:30, but generally the meetings run long. Would you be able to come in around 1:00?
Student: It's taken me weeks to get off for today. I work.
Miss: I apologize; however, if you've been trying to get off for weeks, you could've called me, and I would've been able to set up an appointment for you.
Student: Whatever bitch. *click*

Did that really happen?? Yes. I immediately shared this information (as well as the student's name) with my faculty and the DC. Funny thing, immediately after the meeting, around 12:45, the student called back. Mrs. DC was on another line, so I asked the student to hold. She held for approximately 3 minutes before hanging up. Around 12:55, she was in my office, in my face.
DC agreed to meet with the student, and when she confronted the student about the language she used with me, the student denied having said anything. Whatever. I told DC to tell students that the lines are recorded...it's beside the point now.
The student left through the rear entrance of the office--I think she did that so she didn't have to face me, but that's just my opinion. She did not get granted permission to join the class. And I will NEVER forget her name.

Tomorrow: Off / Server PM

Late Night. Quick Post.

2011-01-21T00:58:00.004-05:00

Tonight was also relatively smooth. Figures. However, it is rather late, and I'm suspecting a long morning of cleaning off my car and shoveling my driveway. Great. Regardless, I made a promise to myself that I would be more diligent with this, and so it goes.
The thoughts weighing on my mind are not really related to tables or peeves, but to my current employment situation. I really hate being a secretary. I hate it more than being a server. I never thought that was possible. It is. People treat servers like shit, but there is an underlying blanket of respect covering their food as it leaves the kitchen: (most) people don't want to piss off their server because they know that we are in charge of their food. It's important to them. Secretaries should have that same blanket, but generally, they don't. The general public sees secretaries as peons for the man. Just like servers, secretaries make things run. Without them, the business crumbles. With secretaries, shit also always runs downhill. Even though I get paid next to nothing, have no benefits, or paid holidays, I'm the one who gets a raft of shit from the "suits" when something goes wrong. Servers can blame it on the kitchen, or get a manager to deal with the irate customer because we only make $2 and change. We don't get paid enough to deal with the shit as servers, and even as secretaries, but somehow, in an office, that's just what happens. At least that's what happens in my office. I do have support, don't get me wrong, but on a whole, I'm the one who is questioned first before anyone in any given situation. It sucks.
This week, I've sent out my resume for two job postings, in hopes of getting out of this life. As the week went on, the feeling of hatred for the office weighed on me, and by today, I'm brainstorming about how I can potentially quit secretary-ing while searching for a new job.
Funny thing: I have a job. Serving. What if, I quit the secretary gig, continued searching for alternate employment, and served full time? Currently, I make more hourly serving than I do at the office, but it's always a gamble. I spoke with my manager tonight when I got into work, and he said he could guarantee me five or six shifts. I really need seven, but the beauty about the industry is the ability to pick up shifts. There is always someone who doesn't want to work. Still...a gamble. He says he'll give me five or six, but when this particular manager started writing the schedule, I sat down with him, told him how crucial this job is to me. I then opened my availability to seven available shifts, with the hope of getting four. For the last three weeks, I've only been scheduled three shifts. I just don't get it. There is another manager who is showing some interest in trying to take the schedule over, but he screwed it up last time, so who knows what's going to happen. These are my brainstorms, but I've come up with a plan...as usual.
Rather than hastily put in my two weeks tomorrow (oh, I really wish I could), I am going to average my tips for the next few weeks to see what I'm averaging hourly. If it comes out to a substantial pay raise, then I'll take the jump. Until then, I will continue to send out resumes for alternate employment to eventually get me out of both industries all together.
Good night.

Friday: Secretary / *Off* (I really should pick up a shift!)

A Walk in the Park

2011-01-20T00:41:00.002-05:00

My plan was to blog, so here I am. It figures, tonight was smooooth sailing. I was nervous at first, but it turned out just fine.
I was scheduled in at 5:30, and there was a reservation for 6:00.
Thirty adults. Great. No kids!
They were prompt, and most of them were foreign.
I was sharing the table with one of my favorite people: a definite plus!
When they first arrived, a man approached us, ordered appetizers for the entire table and told us he'd be taking care of the bill. Even better. No split checks!
Most of them ordered alcoholic drinks.
There bill was over $800 when it was all said and done (amazing for our restaurant).
Gratuity: (approx) $136.00
He added: $20
We tipped out the bussers, food runner, and bartender, which left us with $62 each. Not too shabby. I only had a couple tables other than that, which isn't that great, but it was a nice, easy night overall.

Tomorrow: Secretary / Server

Thinking and Doing: The Plan

2011-01-19T16:40:00.003-05:00

Today: Secretary / Server

Happy New Year! ...and all that jazz. It's been a while, I know. Unfortunately, blogging has, once again, fallen out of my regime. I've been thinking a lot about it though...thinking and NOT doing. Therefore, I've come up with a plan. I'm off to work at the restaurant now, so I plan to come home, and I will blog. It needs to be done to vent out the day, and because it really does help me.
I'm not sure if it's the weather, or thoughts of personal impending doom, but I'm just not my chipper self lately. I'm bummed. It could be the winter blues, but whatever it is, I have to do something about it. Writing has always helped, so that's where I'm starting.
Actually, I feel better already.

Tomorrow: Secretary / Server

Weekend Wonders in Waiting

2010-12-19T16:09:00.003-05:00

What a long weekend! It's over now, and I'm relaxing, happy to be blogging. Friday marked the last day the college was open until after the first of the year. I worked until 2 p.m., then headed to the restaurant for a 5 p.m. closing shift. After closing the restaurant, I came home, and woke yesterday to work a very long Saturday double. I haven't worked a Saturday double....ever. It was funny because I mentioned to the GM that I was the only scheduled double. He replied, "Well, that's because we don't schedule doubles on Saturday." Confused, I repeated myself, "I'm the only scheduled double." If we don't schedule doubles on Saturday, how did I end up getting scheduled a double. To that he replied, "You did just change your availability, maybe there was system error." This statement actually made my eyes pop out a little. He said it as though the schedule is computer generated! It's not like we have some little computer that spits out the schedule! There is a person creating it, who should have noticed that they scheduled a double on a weekend! Don't get me wrong, because I've never worked a Saturday double, I was looking forward to the monetary value it would bring to my pocket. It ended up being a $200 day, so it was definitely worth it!
I have some stories from the weekend, and beyond...
Friday night, I was in one of the better four-table sections, I was closing, and I was ready to make money! Immediately, I got sat with women who were waiting for two others to join them. The initial two are nice, and they order drinks from the bar--great. My section filled up pretty quick, so it didn't bother me that the others hadn't arrived...at first. After settling my other tables, I noticed that their party still had not arrived. I asked them if they wanted to start with appetizers. They declined, but assured me that their friends were on their way and would be arriving shortly. That's fine. Minutes later, the others arrived. They were instantaneously engrossed in conversation. It was then that I realized what was about to happen. They were going to squat. Through their conversations, they were inadvertently pitching their tent, securing the stakes, and building a nice, large fire to last them through the evening. I was not going to let campers ruin my Friday night. It was then that I decided I would be efficiently persistent and encouraging of purchase. Like I have said before, I don't mind if you sit there if you are doing one of two things (1) continuing to order something, or (2) intending to compensate me for the time spent. If you don't tell me you intend to do the latter, I will insist on number one. From that moment forward, I visited their table frequently, but not enough to be super-annoying (only mildly annoying). At each visit, I made sure to remove as much as humanly possible and offer a round of drinks, appetizers, what-have-you, until finally, they ordered. I continued this practice throughout their experience. They did take a long time, but after I wrapped their food and brought the check, I stopped back frequently to see if they were ready to pay. Bottom line: I'm pretty sure they got the hint. They tipped reasonably, and their campfire petered out in a manageable amount of time. Nice.
Also, Friday evening, I was sat with a six-top: four adults in their early to mid 30s, a woman around 50, and a guy who was probably 19 or 20. The 30-somethings ordered mad drinks from the bar and so did the mom. Great start. They were friendly, but not obnoxious, and they were drinking; I was happy. Until one of the 30-something dudes started being kinda douchey. He interrupted me while I was delivering food for another table, he was extremely loud, demanding, and a blatant alcoholic. They all ordered a round of drinks to start, and had finished the drinks and the chips before I returned to take their order. Crazy. So, as they ordered their meals, Douchey Dude asks me if I can start a separate bar tab, from that moment forward. He wanted to buy a guy at the table (who ended up being someone I went to High School with) a beer, but separate from the main tab. Whatever. So fine, I start his new tab. When I returned with the newly ordered round, High School Dude decided he'd like to buy Douchey Dude a shot of tequila. Great. Douche asked for it with a lemon. Fine. They continue to be kinda douchey. Next, all four 30 somethings ordered a shot with lemon. While I was at the bar, preparing my tray, I started putting lemon slices on the rim of the shot glasses. It's a little dark by service bar, and at one point, the bartender giggled and said, "Ew, did they ask for an orange?" I looked down at the shot glasses, and the first one had an orange slice, instead of a lemon--that's embarrassing, but like I said, it's a little dark over there sometimes, and if things are mixed-up or out of place, it's easy to grab the wrong garnish. Regardless, I fixed my mistake and delivered the shots. After they took them, I returned to pre-buss the table, and Douchey grabbed my arm. I pulled back, but stayed to see what he needed. He said, "I think you put an orange on the rim last time...or the bartender." I liked that he caught himself from blaming me, but anyway. I did not reveal who the true culprit was, but I apologized and asked him if the second was better. He agreed that it was. I stopped by periodically, checking on them, and at one point, Douchey Dude asked for the checks, and he even made a point to tell me that there should be three, since he and High School Dude wanted separate bar tabs. I brought all three tabs. After a few minutes, I noticed one credit card sitting on top of all three checks. I approached the table, and the 50-year old woman was apparently paying all three. I had my manager put them together, she signed the slip, and they proceeded to sit there. Then, I noticed Douchey Dude at the bar getting beers. When he returned, I went up to the table and told them that I would be happy to open another tab if they'd like to hang out. Douchey Dude said, "Are you kicking us out?" I replied, "Of course not, sir, but I would be happy to order drinks for you and deliver them, if you'd like." Everyone at the table declined, and not very long later, I'm at service bar and Douchey Dude is beside me, ordering a beer. I'm sure I rolled my eyes, because he starts on this tirade about how he needs to be getting home but everyone wants to have "one more beer." His wife called and actually told him to stay out, but he needed to be getting home. He was sorry he didn't ask me for the beer, but he figured I was busy. I turned, looked at him, and said, "Sir, I would be happy to help you if you'd like to order more drinks. You are sitting at table in my section. Without helping you, I'm not very busy." I said it pleasantly. He didn't seem offended. I just walked away after that, secretly happy that I had inadvertently given him an orange instead of a lemon. Mwwwaaahhh
At least once a shift I have Mr. Unoriginal. He's the guy who uses the same lines wherever he goes, trying to get a laugh out of his waitress, but in actuality, he's the most unoriginal, unfunny creature on the planet. There are millions of them. In retrospect, I now feel a little guilty for not having humored the old man a little, but Good God, there are only so many serving jokes a girl can take in a week. It was he and his wife. She seemed sweet enough, and normal. When I greeted them, I saw they had a margarita from the bar, so I said what I commonly say, "Hi folks, I see that you got a head start at the bar...(that usually gets a chuckle)..." Sometimes when there is only one drink on the table, it's hard to tell who it belongs to (depending on glass and guest placement). The wife chuckled at my little ditty, but the husband took it to another level, "Oh, that's her drink, nobody loves me..." This was not funny to me, "Can I bring a drink for you, sir?" He proceeded to order a Tanqueray Martini, dry, with extra olives. Ew. They then started ordering a ridiculous amount of food. At a certain point, I started reminding them of what they were ordering, because it was a little silly. They didn't care; they were starving! They had soup, followed by salad, followed by appetizers, and minutes before their entrees were delivered, the wife summoned me to tell me that their eyes were bigger than their bellies, and they wanted to cancel one of the entrees. Really? Even though you were forewarned?? So fine. Canceled. They finish their meal, and when I see they started slowing down, I started clearing plates. The man says to me, "Why didn't you tell us we were ordering so much food?" He was trying to be funny, because clearly I tried to warn them! I didn't think this was funny for the same reason. I asked if I could bring anything else for him, and he gave me the typical, "Well, you got a wheelbarrow in the back?? Or better, yet, a cot for me to take a nab on?" He got a kick out of himself, but I mostly just wanted to kick him.
After everyone was cut, and the closers started taking tables, the stupid, dumb ass hostess triple sat me. This pissed me off because there was no reason for it, and I was tired, ready to start breaking the restaurant down, and try to get some food. She did not have anyone else pick them up, and no one else offered--oh, that gives me such faith in my fellow coworkers. I already had two tables: Mother/Daughter and Family of Four. She sat me with Shopping Buddies, Awkward Married Couple, and a (seemingly) Newly Dating Couple. Newly Dating decided that they didn't want to sit in the seat offered. They preferred to sit in a closed section, two stations away from mine. Whatever. Fucking assholes. Sit where you're sat! It's not arbitrary, like you think it is! There is a rotation! There is a method (or there should be a method) to our madness. Eat a dick. So fine. I greeted everybody, checked on the others, and started moving through this push as quickly as possible. At one point I had a tray of drinks....if you're a server, you know where this is going....two chocolate milks, two margaritas, two waters and a cup of salsa. As I was entering the dining room, from the bar, I realized I had not grabbed straws. I turned around, at which point, some sort of strange wind velocity tipped the tray and everything with it. I was right next to the server station: margaritas all over the sugar caddies, the computer, the spoons, and of course, me. The salsa was all down the front of me. Being so late in the evening, I was not about to change my shirt. I didn't have that much time left. Besides, I had to get out of the weeds. These tables weren't going to serve themselves. When I re-entered the dining room, I first went up to the Awkward Married Couple with their non-alcoholic drinks, at which point the Husband said to me, "You didn't have to throw the tray like that." Again, clearly trying to lighten the mood, but I was so beyond lightening at that point, that I said, "Sir, I clearly didn't intend to throw that tray," and just walked away. I was recovering pretty well, but the Newly Dating Couple were on my nerve. When I greeted them I said, "How are you tonight?" and the guy just looked at me and said, "How are you?" I looked down at my salsa/margarita stained uniform and just said, "It's been a long day." I wanted to say, "And you're actually making it longer by sitting in a closed section!" But of course, the need for tongue biting is actually in the servers' job description. I finally got caught up, and I was delivering drinks to the Newly Dating Couple. She ordered a Strawberry Margarita, but apparently, I ordered a Raspberry. I didn't say a word, and neither did they. It didn't go as planned, but it did end...eventually.

Although I do have server stories from beyond, I have to end for today. I'll post at some point this week.

A Little Funny Story

2010-12-16T21:10:00.003-05:00

I have a little bit of a funny story...
Preface: At the office, it really annoys me when students come in and just assume that I know why they're there, or who they've come to see. It's part of professional development to properly identify yourself. If, in the course of your identification, you are recognized, then you may proceed accordingly, but up until that point...I mean, come on!

Funny Story: First thing this morning, a young, female student came into the department. She was a bit quiet and had a Gothic flare, but not full-on Goth (Goth-esque). When she came in, I was walking to the printer, so I stopped short to greet her. She walked right up to me...in my bubble. I took a step back and said, "Can I help you?" She looked around and down the hall and asked for her instructor, Mr. J. I asked her if she had an appointment, and she said that she did not--she just wanted to ask him why she couldn't see grades for her last few assignments (on the virtual grade book).
"Well," I replied, "grades were due on Monday--"
She cut me off, "I have an Incomplete for the course."
Miss: "Then you will not see a grade until you have completed the coursework."
Goth-esque: "I have the work right here." She showed me the pile of paperwork in her hand. This actually made my head spin a little bit. Luckily, Eileen was walking up the hall, and saw that I looked troubled. She took it over from there, and I quickly escaped to the file room.
Eileen was able to help the young girl, or so I thought. Nearly three hours later, the door opened, and in entered Goth-esque.
Miss: "Hello."
Goth-esque: "I'm back." (This made me chuckle a little bit.)
Miss: "Okay. May I help you?"
Goth-esque: (annoyed that I didn't know exactly who she was...even though I did...teehee) Uh, I was here earlier for Mr. J., and now I have to turn these in."
I promptly went back to Mr. J. to see if he wanted to speak with the student. He did not. When I returned to the front office, I explained that Mr. J. was busy and asked if she could leave her assignments with me. She complied. Our general practice is to have students sign their assignments "in" so we have a record. She immediately begins complaining about the fact that she is not left handed. With visions of the classic Princess Bride scene, I envisioned her tossing the pen into her right hand and continuing to fill out the sign-in sheet. No such luck. Laboriously, she filled out the paperwork.
Finally, after she left, I inquired with Mr. J. as to why she received an Incomplete. Apparently, she suffered from a sparring accident. Interesting. And a little bit funny. (I know that sparring and fencing are different, it just struck my funny bone a little bit.)

Over-active Tear Ducts and Holiday Cheer

2010-12-16T13:10:00.002-05:00

This post is not what I had intended for today, but alas, blogging provides the freedom to post whatever, whenever.
Today, some things really hit home for me. I tell people that I have over-active tear ducts, because I'm an easy crier. Being an easy crier has not always been that easy. For example, I clearly remember my mother telling me to "turn off my tears" when we were fighting, or if I got in trouble. She thought I was faking. Little did she know that I have a condition that has traveled with me throughout my adolescence and now, my adulthood. I'm an emotional creature. Even when I'm watching a movie (or commercial) during which someone's emotions are brought to the forefront, I generally cry. I don't sob uncontrollably, my eyes tear, I feel the emotion presented, and that's usually that. Usually.
Today, something interesting happened. I am secretary-ing today, and early this morning, FFL sent around an email requesting a quick meeting of the secretaries and the coordinators. This meeting only consisted of two secretaries, two coordinators, and the FFL himself. He began the meeting by sharing with the group that he has experienced a lot of loss in his life. Initially, I think everyone at the table thought he was either sick or he had lost someone. He gently segued from this point to share with us how he dealt with these losses. It wasn't until some of his coworkers confronted him that he realized he was closing himself off to the world. His coworkers wanted to help him through his rough time, but FFL had been raised under the "Rock" mantra: he was supposed to be hard, cold, and emotionless. It wasn't until this time that he realized he should welcome help from close friends and family (or in this case, coworkers). He then took the time to personally thank each of us, by telling us how much we mean to him. Although he has a rough exterior, he does have a soft interior.
I was touched that he took the time to tell us these things. Because of those he had lost, he learned that he should thank those around him in the moment, because tomorrow is not a guarantee. He then continued by reading a passage he received:

Everyone Can't Be In Your Front Row
Life is a theater -- invite your audience carefully.
Not everyone is spiritually healthy and mature enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you LET GO, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships/fellowships!Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention to:
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have DRAMA or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?
When you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around! [Choose] wisely the people who sit int he front row of your life. Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn't mean you sink to theirs!"

This passage hit home for me for several reasons. The first being that I have always said that I am very selective about who I spend my time with and the people I choose to be around. I don't have many friends, and I don't mind it because the friends I do have were chosen carefully. So, for me, this passage had a personal effect. In addition, with my "plans" for improvement around here, this passage also made me realize that FFL is human. Although he has some interesting idiosyncrasies, and he sometimes approaches things differently, he is, as we all are, human. This helped me to see that the "plan" I have created for my improvement around here, involves my accepting FFL for the leader he is. Even though I am making great strides to separate my personal feelings from my professional position, seeing FFL in this light is helping to move my plan into action. This has helped me to take a step back and look at the way I treat people.

Although this is a somewhat somber post, it is all part of the process. This process is essential for me to move forward and to make necessary changes that will ultimately help me to carry out my other "plans" of action.

With that said, today marks the second-to-last day before the Holiday break. The college will be closed for two weeks, so that's exciting. The only problem is the restaurant is still open, so I suppose I'll have to work at some point.

Who knows, I may post later.

Update, Weekly Forecast, and Christmas Cheer

2010-12-13T22:11:00.004-05:00

I will be posting. Just not today. I did work this weekend, and although I did take a couple notes, I don't have them in front of me to jog my memory. I was scheduled four shifts -- as promised! :) Then, I was able to pick up two shifts, so I think everything's going to be okay....hopefully.
In other news: I'm trying desperately not to hate Christmas. I know that sounds like a horrible thing to say, but for me, it's full of stress over money, time, money, and time. There's never any time. There's never enough money. It's a shame, really. I want to go back to the time when Christmas was an honest-to-goodness magical miracle that came to life once a year. It was a time to get together with family and tell the tales of the day's magic. I know that's not what Christmas is really about, but let's be honest here: Christmas has become more so about the tradition that it has forgotten about the purpose itself. At the risk of blaspheming, even the purpose itself is a little skewed. Regardless, it has become a commercialized, Americanized, stressful, and something I've come to dread. Albeit, when the day arrives, and the stresses are forgotten, the memory of the day is what's remembered. I know that. In the moment, in this moment of blogging freedom, I think it's okay for me to voice these holiday grievances. In addition to the traditional dread and stress, my mother has decided to change traditions this year. I'm really okay with it because of the logic and thought that went behind the decision, but I have to admit, it will be weird to not do things the way they've always been done. Even though I'm okay with it, there is a nostalgic emotion that pulls at my heart strings. I know it will be fine, and new traditions will be formed; it'll just take some getting used to.

The wind is howling,
blowing the brittle tree branches.
Tapping and knocking
on my windows and doors,
Mother Nature is bringing
with her flurries
and winds,
brittle, like the trees.

Tuesday: Secretary a.m. / Server p.m.

What's YOUR Plan??

2010-12-07T10:30:00.005-05:00

I'm outspoken.
Who knew?
I did.
I thought everybody did.
Apparently, I offend.
Truthfully, I know that I can offend; I just generally don't care.
Evidently, I've offended my boss. Well, that's never my intent, but it does happen from time to time. To clarify, this is the boss from my secretarial job (FFL: Flatulent Fearless Leader). He called me into his office yesterday to discuss "the happenings" from Friday.
Preface: Friday afternoon, we had a department lunch meeting. Everyone in the department brings some food, we all eat, and meet. It's great (*sarcasm*). Because I am one of two secretaries, we generally organize the meeting, and sometimes we are there to clarify certain issues that may come up. Generally, we are well-respected by the staff, but on Friday, things were different. Everyone was a bit punchy. This may have something to do with the fact that the semester is over in just a couple weeks, coupled with the fact that it was Friday, attention spans were running short, and so was my temper.
I'm beginning to think that FFL and I speak different languages. We consistently have communication problems. During the meeting, FFL was giving instructions regarding a specific "hiccup" we've been having this semester. When he finished, I raised my hand, then clarified a point that he did not mention. When I said my piece, he promptly asked me if he was unclear. I guess I had reiterated some of what he already said. Obviously, he wasn't clear if I felt the need to clarify. Ugh. This incident was not the first of the day, nor was it the first ever, so by this point, I was annoyed. At that, my passive aggressive tendencies began to shine through, and I, under my breath, said something to the effect of, "I'm just going to stop talking." Well, he heard this, and scolded me by just saying my name, and then proceeded with the remainder of the meeting. I did not say another word the entire meeting, and I left promptly when adjourned. Fired up after feeling like I was shit on, I just wanted to start my weekend, and forget about the office.
Well, dontcha know, Monday morning (yesterday), he called me into his office for a meeting. Joining us in this meeting was the person just underneath of the FFL, Even-keeled Eileen. Eileen is great! I wish she were our Fearless Leader, but no such luck! I was happy she was joining us, but I was nervous about what was to come...
Bottom line: I need to check myself before I wreck myself. FFL needs to know what my PLAN is to fix this attitude problem I have. Immediately, and a bit facetiously, I stated, "I'll try better." He didn't like that. The conversation ended with me becoming frustrated to tears, and consequently, making everyone in the room more uncomfortable than they were at the start. I don't mean to cry, but I'm emotional, passionate, and I hate confrontation, so sometimes, my frustration (emotions) get the better of me. The meeting was concluded on the grounds that I would come up with a "plan" to discuss with FFL at the end of this week or the beginning of next. Whatever that means....
Shortly after this meeting, I went in to Eileen's office and asked if she and I could meet today (Tuesday). As it turns out, FFL monopolized all of Eileen's time today, so I was unable to meet with her. I had time to think about the conversation, and about my plans. I have come up with three plans of action.
(1) This plan stems from the fact that I really don't respect my FFL. In fact, I think his own vision of his position is delusional and fabricated to enhance his political standing with the higher-ups. Because of my personal feeling about FFL, I find myself unable to work with him (or look him in the eye) on a daily basis. I have issues with him as a person, but especially as a boss. My first plan of action is to find something, anything about this man that is redeemable in my eyes, or respectable, as it were. Once I find something to latch onto, I think it will be smoother sailing. This plan is NOT the plan I will be voicing to FFL.
(2) The second plan of action was inspired by the first, and it does have some bearing on the problem at hand. My work ethic is actually a part of my personality, which I guess it is for everyone. I take great pride in the work I do, whether it be in the office or at the restaurant. Even though I'm not thrilled with the positions I hold, I take great pride in the work that I do for both. It's a personal thing for me. It is part of who I am to be the best at whatever I'm doing. I take both of my jobs seriously and personally. Therefore, when I get "hollered" at or scolded, I take it very personally. This plan consists of my taking the necessary steps to separate my personal feelings from my professional position. This will take a lot of will-power, and a lot of (passive aggressive) prowess, but I think it can be done. This is the PLAN that I will voice to the FFL in a week's time.
The third (3) and final PLAN is NOT one I will tell many people, but it is one that is necessary for me to feel fulfilled with life. I need to get out of here. My PERSONAL PLAN is to get certified to teach and apply to schools. I'd potentially like to get out of here by August of 2011. I think that's doable. I'm in positions right now that are cesspools. In an office, shit rolls downhill; it rolls downhill, then it lands right on my desk. Every now and then, it overflows, that's when the problems arise. I was not meant to be in this position. I was not meant to take orders from people; I was meant to be heard. In the positions where I sit now, I don't get paid to be heard. I get paid to be shit on. I hate it.

Those are my plans, and I'm sticking to them! I'm not sure how well they will work out, but I think it's something. Clearly, I'm the one who needs a plan, because HE'S doing everything right! Whatever.

This post was originally named: Plans, Presents, and Antibiotics, but the Presents and Antibiotics will have to wait for another time. I spent too much time talking about PLANS!!!!

Oh, Happy Day!

Salutations, Schedule Conflicts, and Squatters

2010-12-04T15:58:00.005-05:00

I hope everyone enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday! Christmas is right around the corner, and I'm trying to deny it...
The last two weeks have been a bit busy, although my shifts at the restaurant have become fewer and farther between. Ugh. Currently, I am available to work Wednesday through Saturday nights, but we're overstaffed, so I've been getting two or three shifts a week for the last month or so. It's beginning to fuck with my money. For the first time in three years, I actually paid my rent two days late. I know it's not that big of a deal, but I like to keep things consistent. This week, I was only scheduled Wednesday and Friday. Big Deal. Great. Last night, when I arrived at work, I saw that next week, I'm only scheduled two days! I was furious. I've been thinking about my schedule, and the fact that I even talked to the Manager in charge of writing the schedule. I thought I made it clear that I rely on these shifts for my livelihood. Regardless, the shifts that I'm available are probably the same shifts that everybody is available, which makes it a difficult task when it comes to evenly distributing the "money" shifts. So, I took it upon myself to change my availability. I didn't intend to show the Manager in charge of the schedule at first, but he saw me filling out a new availability sheet, so he inquired. We went into the office, and I told him my ish. I then told him that I was opening up my availability (to 7 avail shifts, as opposed to only four) in the hopes of obtaining at least four shifts a week. He said he could work with that. I opened up Tuesday night, Saturday lunch, and Sunday lunch. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will be scheduled for these shifts on a consistent basis from now on, which will fuck me up too. I'm trying here, but somehow shit always ends up biting me in the ass at this place. I've thought about leaving so many times, but I just can't risk it. I have to make this work until I've found something to replace the industry entirely.
Moving on...
Wednesday night, my family came into the restaurant for dinner. It was a great surprise! My niece was there without her sister, which is a rarity. I was able to spoil her, as she was the center of my attention for the two hours they were in my section. When nieces arrive, the bitchiness promptly dissipates.
Last night, I was scheduled to close, and I was in a decent section, so I was excited at the possibility of money in my pocket. I started off great! Tables were flipping quickly, people were only mildly stupid, and my tip percentage was looking good. Around 6:00, two women were sat, with drinks from the bar and a basket of chips, at a 4-top in my section. They were clearly waiting for two other people. I brought a fresh basket of chips, and they informed me that the rest of their party was in the parking lot. By 6:30, I had delivered the two women another round of Sangria, and the rest of their party still had not arrived...from the parking lot. Finally, around 6:45, two more women show up. The order drinks, they're pleasant, whatever. Around 7:30, they finished their meal, I delivered the check ($69.00), and they paid. They, then proceeded to sit until approximately 9:00. Are you kidding me?? Granted, they left me 20%, with the time it took for their party to be complete, and the time they sat after their meal, I could have had up to three more tables there. I just think it's ignorant of people to not think that they are taking away a person's income because they need to catch up on the family gossip. Don't get me wrong, I can definitely sit places, but I'm either going to continue ordering things, or I'm going to compensate my server for the time I've sat at his/her table without ordering. I also know that I'm only conscious of this fact because I'm in the industry. I'm trying to spread the word.
I have some interesting secretary stories that I really should share, but I'm running out of time today. If I'll remember, I'll post later or possibly tomorrow.

Entitled: Appalled

2010-11-23T23:50:00.000-05:00

This semester the students have been crazy. This is actually an understatement. I've never before experienced people who are so utterly incompetent, and it scares me for the future and well-being of our nation.
On a daily basis, and especially during registration, students have appointments to meet with their academic advisors. In my office, there are two different departments, and, therefore, nearly 13 instructors (a.k.a. academic advisors). Multiple times daily I have conversations that sound like the following:

Miss: Hello.
Student: I have an appointment with my advisor? (Yup, they ask it like a question.)
Miss: O.K. Who is your appointment with?
Student: Ummm....[looks at the displayed business cards]...I can't remember his name...
Miss: [annoyed, but trying to stay patient] O.K. What's your major?
Student: Ummm...I'm not sure.
Miss: Well, do you want to do This or That?
Student: That.
Miss: What's your last name?
Student: Doe.
Miss: So your appointment must be with Mrs. B. I'll let her know your here.

Are you fucking kidding me? Sometimes they know their major, but not their concentration, which makes a difference in my world. Regardless, they generally walk in with the idea that they are the only student, seeing the only instructor. Personally, I love when they show up a half hour or an hour late for an appointment, then just ask for another advisor. We divide the students by last name and distribute a certain portion of the alphabet to each instructor. Although we are sometimes forced to redistribute the alphabet, we like students to see the same advisor. Students who have been around for the shuffle don't see any point in the organization and want to be seen by whomever. In the front office, we try to hold the line, and unless a student is exceptionally unruly, they generally reschedule, begrudgingly.

There are a few students who are exceptionally entitled, and they are nearing a secretarial confrontation. The new Department Chair (the Flatulent Fearless Leader) was once a full-time instructor, so there are students who are nearing completion of the program who have seen his promotion. There are two in particular who walk in the office, point to FFL's office door, then proceed to walk right in. The problem with this is they have no boundaries, and if there are other students in the office, it sets a poor example. The even bigger problem with this is that FFL allows the behavior to continue. If they were held to the same boundary across the board, they would eventually learn that people don't just stop for them.

I was convinced that this had something to do with generation, but I've seen this behavior in grown adults. I'm not sure what it is. Society. Societal norms. Overall need for instant gratification. Something like that.

Tomorrow: NO SCHOOL! / Server p.m.

Uneventful

2010-11-21T22:34:00.002-05:00

This weekend was uneventful, because I only worked one shift. Friday night. It was busy, but not crazy-busy. My night was pleasant, but mostly because of servers on shift. It's so nice to work with people who are pleasant and helpful! :)
The night was relatively busy, but died hard and fast. At one point my big-top hadn't been sat for about 20 minutes when finally the hostesses sat an incomplete party of five. When I walked over it was two teenage girls, who immediately asked me what Virgin drinks we offered. Immediately after they ordered their choice of virgin beverage, a third member arrived. She was sitting at the head of the table and will now be referred to as Head Teenager. Head Teenager also orders a Virgin beverage. Before I bring hers, the final to members of the party have arrived, and they are Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber (a teenage couple: male/female). The Male (Tweedle Dumber) immediately inhales the two baskets of chips that were on the table. He orders another virgin drink and his girlfriend orders a sprite. They order, and things are seemingly fine, but I've hated them since the beginning. They were loud, messy, and all around disrespectful. When the time came for me to drop the food, the couple was paying absolutely no attention to me or to what I was doing. I was standing behind them with a hot fajita skillet, trying to announce my presence, to no avail. Even Head Teenager didn't help a sister out. Whatever. So, I just put the skillet between the two of them, and continue dropping the food. The girlfriend was startled by my presence, "Damn!" She says, as if I'm going to slap her in the face with the skillet...as much as I would've liked, I am not that kind of server (or person, for that matter). I dropped the remaining food, and as I was walking away, Head Teenager asked me for another Virgin beverage. I complied, but had to return the empty tray to the kitchen. On my return from the kitchen, Head Teenager screams across two rows of tables, "I CHANGE MY MIND! I'LL JUST HAVE A SPRITE!" Are you serious? Well, me being the passive aggressive little bitch I am, walked over to the table and said sweetly, "I'm sorry, Miss, I didn't hear you. What did you need?" She didn't like that very much. I was efficient, I brought them everything they needed, but this bitch was looking for any excuse to stiff me. When I finally dropped the check, I heard Head Teenager say, "AN' YOU AIN'T GETTIN' NO TIP!" I promptly turned to her, smiled and said, "Oh, that's okay, I didn't expect one." It didn't really matter, in the grand scheme of things, but it was a $70 check. Ugh.

Monday: Secretary A.M. / Off P.M.

Update and Delay

2010-11-19T01:15:00.002-05:00

This week has been crazy, even though I haven't worked at the restaurant much. Tonight was horrible! But tomorrow will hopefully be better! I'm making a list and hoping to post this weekend!
~Sorry for the delay!

Rough Friday: Part II / Weekend Follow-Up

2010-11-14T18:41:00.004-05:00

This weekend was busy and profitable, so I really can't complain; however, I wouldn't be a Bitchy Waitress if I didn't. I made sure to keep some notes, so I wouldn't forget some of the more outrageous incidents.
Friday, I was scheduled in at 5:30, but I knew we'd start getting busy beforehand, so I came on closer to 5:00. My section was four tables, at the very back of the restaurant: fondly referred to as the Dungeon. I had three small-tops (4 person max) and a big-top (8/9 max). The dining room begins to fill up more steadily....here we go.
Table 11 (4-top): Young mother and toddling son, sit down and it's clear she's waiting for two other people. I approach without realizing she was on the phone. She acknowledged me, but I refuse to talk to people with a cell phone on their ear: it's not only annoying for me, but also for the person on the other end. I wave and tell her I'll check back. When I do, she's still on the phone--I could've sworn she hung up, but whatever. She told whomever to "hold on" and ordered a water and an apple juice for the boy. Eventually, another girl showed up. She ordered a margarita. When I returned with her drink, I noticed she was blotting the toddler with a linen. I then noticed that Young Mother was fiddling with the kid's cup, which appeared to be empty. That child spilled his juice. Neither woman said anything to me. They were still waiting for one more, but decided to order the child's meal. Finally, a guy showed up. Now that everyone had arrived, they were completely engrossed in conversation. I somehow managed to take the Guy's drink order, and they finally ordered dinner. Young Mother tried to be funny when I asked if they were ready by replying that she hadn't had a chance to look. I wasn't sure if she was kidding because she had either been on the phone or engrossed in conversation with Other Girl, so I started to tell them I'd come back. She giggled and said she was joking, which annoyed me for some reason. Oh, I know why, because you've been at my table for an hour and a half, and you're just now ordering! The circumstance of their ordering was a bit precarious, and the inconsiderate table did not make it any easier. At the time they were ready to order, I had been double-sat, so I came out with drink orders for my other two tables, and took a margarita to table 11 last, so I could take their order. Of course, Other Girl gives me her empty margarita glass, so now I have to balance the margarita glass on the tray, with my book, so I can write down the order. (I write down EVERY order.) I have the tray balancing in my left hand, so I can take the order and write with my right hand, balancing empty margarita glass all the way. I have a necklace around my neck with a blinking beer bottle. Guy loves this, and asks me where he can get him one of them. I tell him I'm not sure, my manager just gave everyone one. I tell him he can have mine. I'm thinking he's going to order first, then play with the necklace. Nope. He holds his hand out awaiting his new toy. I don't have anywhere to put this tray, so I continue to balance and remove the necklace. Guy's intent is to give it to the toddler. As soon as Guy gets it, he tosses it near Toddler Boy, who immediately begins whining like a little sissy lala. Guy looks back at me sheepishly and says, "Well, I guess he doesn't like it." Still balancing, I take the necklace back and shove it in my pocket. The order is finally given. Thank the Lord. Anyway, their food comes out, they take a ridiculously long time eating. Finally, I decide to try to take something off the table, when I see Young Mother covering something up with her hand. She's reaching in front of toddler-boy, trying to hide something from me. I offer to clear some dishes, and she gives me her plates with one hand, attempting to slyly cover up the heinous mess her son had made! There was rice EVERYWHERE. Toddler-boy didn't even have rice! They gave him rice! Oh, you people! I tried to laugh it off with them, but I'm sure it came out snotty. Eventually, after a really long time, they leave. The busser approaches the table, turns to me, and says, "They left an awful mess!" I go over to find that that child had spilled the ENTIRE cup of juice and nearly ALL the rice, his kids' menu, garbage, candy, cheerios, you NAME it! All over the floor. The parents didn't even attempt to clean it up, yet Young Mother was embarrassed about the rice on the table! Get real people! $8 on $47. Thanks.
Table 12 (3-top): After seating an incomplete party at my table, the Host Monkey comes up to me to tell me the woman's order. She wanted 3 Virgin Pina Coladas, Guacamole, Sour Cream, etc., and so on. I approach the table and say, "Hello, how are you? My name is Darby, and I'll be your server this evening. I hear you've given the host your order? I'll have it right out for you." I didn't really give her the chance to respond because I found her so idiotic. Then I felt really bad because it turns out, she was a foreigner. My bad. I made it up to them though, with good, pleasant, efficient service, and they left me $5 on $37. Whatev...
Table 21 (7-top): Weird family sits down: Grandmother, Grandfather, Father, Mother, and three small children. Their weird because they don't really seem to have much couth, and their just awkward with socializing with me. I don't know. When I approached the table and starting taking drink orders, the Father was desperately searching through the menu. Eventually he looked up, after having exasperated himself by trying to read, and saw that the wait station was within sight. There were several servers and one manager standing at the wait station, so Father couldn't quite see all we had to offer. He was craning his neck, so I started to rattle off the soft drinks. This didn't do either, so he stood up. I'm still listing the options, finally he sees his choosing and announces it. Only now he hears me say gingerale (because I'm trying to do my job), and he says, "I didn't want a gingerale, I said Sprite." "Pardon me, sir," I reply, "I was just listing the options for you." He didn't really get it. I ordered their meal, which consisted of eight items total. In our restaurant we are not allowed to have more than five items on a check; therefore, we have a Multi-ticket system in which we order the first five items, hit "multi-ticket" and send it through to the kitchen. At the start of the second half of the order, we begin with hitting "multi-ticket," then continuing the order. In addition, when we are delivering food, we are not allowed to "auction off" the food. For example, picking up a plate, screaming "Tacos?" while waiting for the patrons to figure out whose tacos were whose. We have a pivot system where servers order the table according to the seat of the guest. This is done so servers know which seat gets which entree. All servers know pivot for each table. Sometimes....well, a lot of the time, the kitchen will send out the multi-tickets out of order. It may take a minute to get your bearings if you are not the server of the table; however, it is something that can be figured out. In this instance, the second half of the check came out before the first. I was getting drinks from the bar when the tray was dropped, so another server was delivering the food. I was walking back and saw that she was not making eye contact with the table, she was flailing the plates in front of them with no explanation, not really making a good impression at all. I was appalled. This server is also a trainer. I said something to her. I'm a little bit proud of myself for doing so, too. :) Even though we don't auction off food, I think it's important to introduce the dish. People who have never been to our restaurant may have a different idea of what the entree may look like, so when it's presented, it's nice to have reassurance. In addition, I feel strongly that saying "hello," and making the guests aware that although you are not their server, you will be serving them their meals, is appropriate. Not making eye contact and not ensuring that you (or the server) didn't misread the pivot is disrespectful to the guest. Once I finished giving my complaint, the server apologized, she didn't realize it was the second portion of the check or whatever, but she was a bit defensive.
Saturday night I was forced to pick up, and it was a three-table station. I wasn't too upset because it's a nice time to have 3 smalls. It's relaxing and easy, breezy. I didn't make a TON of money, but I made enough to be ahead of the game, for once. :)
I had off today, which has been really nice. I've done all my chores, now I've blogged, so I'll be enjoying some solitude for the rest of the evening. I am not scheduled at the restaurant until Thursday, so this week should be relatively painless....
Except for the fact that Early Registration begins at the college tomorrow. It shouldn't be too bad, but it's always pretty hectic.
Monday: Secretary

Rough Friday: Part I

2010-11-13T03:19:00.002-05:00

I really should be going to bed, but there are a few things I'd like to get off my chest. I plan to vent this out into two sessions, but it could end up being more...who knows.

Preface: The beginning of the story begins on Thursday (yesterday) in the office where I work as a secretary. I work side-by-side with another girl, who is just a few years older than I (we'll call her Office Mate. She has her issues; she has her drama, but I have a soft spot for her. Someone once described her as a lost soul, and that is still how I see her today. She is 35, and she has two kids. Her baby-daddy was abusive, and he still continues to harass her on a weekly basis (they are currently not together). Her experiences have made her extremely anxious and almost awkward. Sometimes, her social anxieties show when she is dealing with students in the office. For example, when the office door opens, I immediately look up to greet the person walking through the door. I think my serving experience ingrained a certain etiquette into my head. Sometimes Office Mate doesn't even look at them. From time to time, I have found that I have a tendency to talk over her, or cut her off. I don't do this intentionally; it's part of who I am to share knowledge and ideas. If I know something, I want to tell you. It's not that she doesn't have the correct information, it's just that sometimes she takes really long pauses, as if she's thinking about the answer, so I chime in. I really do have to learn to back off. If she's ever going to get any better with her anxieties, then I have to let her gain some more confidence. I think subconsciously, I think I'm helping her, but I think yesterday, I got on her last nerve. It was exactly what I described above; I talked over her when she was trying to deal with a student. I was just trying to help. When the student left the office, I knew what I had done, and I saw it written all over her face I immediately apologized, and she said everything was fine. I don't know my Office Mate extremely well, but I have worked with her for the last three years, so I have a pretty good idea on how to read her. She's also an emotional wreck, so she's fragile and delicate. She looks like she could crumble at any second nearly every day of the week. Well after yesterday's debacle I knew she was peeved. I knew she was peeved and chose to not tell me why. I had a premonition in my head that because of this incident, she wouldn't come to work today (Friday). Boy, was I spot on! Rather than deal with me face-to-face, she chose to hide a home. Around NOON, I got an email from her, explaining how she feels when I talk over her. I was happy she wrote me, but I was (and still am) appalled that she took a personal day because she couldn't turn to me and tell me to back off!

I'm totally falling asleep, I'll finish the rest of my epic post tomorrow or Sunday :)

Salutations Ring New Pet Peeve

2010-11-09T12:37:00.003-05:00

So, something has begun to annoy me, and it needs to be voiced! During the course of my day, whether in the office or at the restaurant, I extend salutations, such as "Have a nice day," or "Have a good night!" Interestingly, when I say these things, if the person to whom I've directed said salutaion is not leaving at that time, they feel the need to tell me, "Oh, I'm not leaving yet," or "I'm coming back!" Well, here's my thing: Accept my salutation! Regardless if you are coming, going, staying, or leaving, I will send a salutation your way. I don't need to know your whereabouts, the status of your meal, or the fact that you are just leaving the office to make a phone call; just take the salutation! Accept it, without the nonsense!

Out of Retirement

2010-11-08T23:57:00.003-05:00

I've recently been feeling pangs of guilt towards my lack of blogging. I'm still waiting tables, after all that talk, and I'm still experiencing stupidity on a daily basis. I'm also a part-time secretary at a local college, which, after a moment's thought, absolutely falls under the title and meaning behind this blog.
Today I secretary-ed during the day, and it was the most unproductive day of my life. Aside from a few dramatic phone calls, I accomplished very little. This annoys me because I'm a part-timer in a full-time position. Anyway...one of my dramatic phone calls consisted of a woman calling to inquire about programs. When I answered the phone, she immediately began telling me about the operator and how she apparently does not like her job. I apologized to the woman, and she proceeded to lecture me on how I should never apologize for anyone else, etc., and so forth. Wow, lady.
The other call was from a dramatic mother who was calling to place a concern regarding her daughter's math class. "Would you like the number for the Math department?" I ask sweetly. "Well, which department did I call??" Are you telling me that you are calling me with a concern about your daughter, and you don't even know who you're calling?? Some people are stupidly amazing.
Luckily, I did not have to work at the restaurant tonight. My usual shifts are Wednesday through Saturday. Nowadays we are so overstaffed that I'm lucky if I get all four of those shifts. For the last two weeks I haven't been scheduled on Saturday, which is beginning to prove problematic. I'm also having difficulty, as of late, getting along with some of my co-workers. I don't really care if people like me, but I sure do hope that in a work environment, personal feelings can be put aside in an effort to achieve the same goal. Not where I work. For me, I am surrounded by people who thrive on making other people miserable. This particular group of people has disdain for the likes of me: Miss Haters. I don't really care for them much either, but in the restaurant, I treat them fairly, help them when needed, etc. With them, they make my life harder deliberately, just to get a rise out of me and an inevitable confrontation.
For example, we close the restaurant with four servers; three of which are responsible for "checking out" the other servers, and once their sidework, section, and silverware is completed, the appropriate closer will sign off on that server. On occasion when one of these Miss Haters is closing (usually there is more than one), they are ridiculous when "checking me out." If there is one chair pulled out in my section, they will not sign me. If there is one half sleeve of cup lids, they will not sign me. They will deliberately nitpick my section because they think that's what gives them power. They are wrong.
Friday night, I was scheduled to close, a Miss Hater approached me as soon as I walked in the door, and asked me for my close. I told her I had intended on keeping it, but I'd let her know. She then admitted that she was asking for another Miss Hater. I shrugged my shoulders because I had yet to commit anyway. Within minutes the latter-mentioned Miss Hater asked me for my close. I gave him the same response. Finally, this young girl, Dee asked me for my close. I gave her the same response, but was still thinking about keeping it. This crazy chick who loves me came over just after the shift began and informed me that the Miss Haters were conspiring to get me off the close because one of them was closing and didn't want to close with me. This pissed me off, but honestly, it hurt my feelings a little bit. Like I said, you don't have to like me, but when it comes to the fact that you don't want to work me, I wouldn't be human if it didn't sting a little. Well, knowing that even one of the Miss Haters was closing totally turned me off to the entire idea. I couldn't give it to the other Miss Hater though. If I did, he would probably be an ass when he checked me out. Why should I give it to him? Crazy Chick told me I should keep the close them burn him when I checked him out, but that's not the game I play. I really try to be fair, and ordinarily, giving my close to the first person who asked is how I would play. Given the fact that they were playing their own game gave me justification to play my own. I decided to secretly give my close to Dee. She's sweet and nice and everybody loves her. I secretly asked a manager's approval, then I went about my night. At one point in the night, I was at a server station with a guy named Matty (the fourth and impartial closer), and the Miss Hater who was also scheduled to close. Matty was talking about how it was the three of us closing. I was putting in an order, so I did not respond. Then Matty saw the manager: A. Man, and asked if he was closing as well. When A. Man responded that, indeed, he was, Matty clapped his hands and said something like, "Great! The four of us, and Crazy Chick." With that, A. Man says, "Miss isn't closing, Dee's closing." Miss Hater shot me a look and said, "What?" I replied slyly, "Oh, Dee said something about wanting the close." With that, Miss Hater stormed off in a huff. Crazy Chick approached me a few minutes later to tell me that Miss Hater was pissed. Great. Why should I do anything to help you, when all you do is make everyone around you miserable. I'm tired of people walking on me. I'm tired of people disrespecting me. Although I am non-confrontational, I will tell you how it is, if you really want to know.
It feels good to be back. I hope I still have some readers out there!!!
Tuesday: Secretary A.M. / Off P.M. :)

I Found Me

2009-01-24T14:46:00.002-05:00

Hi there, to those of you who still check from time to time. I felt I had to retire this page, but I am attempting a new blog. With my current situation, I have a lot more going on than waiting tables, and I didn't feel justified for talking about it on the other blog, so I started a new one. The new one includes serving topics, but also other bit from my daily life. If you liked the Bitchy Waitress, I haven't gone far, just a click away.

Happy Reading!
~Darby

Where Have I Been??

2008-10-22T19:52:00.002-04:00

I just cannot believe how quickly time passes! I cannot believe that I haven't posted in so long! I've been really wrapped up in work, work, and work, so by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is post...Hey, I'm being honest. Sometimes posting feels like work.

In reference to my previous post, the meeting with my manager did not go so well. He basically told me that the reason I have not been "promoted" to trainer is because of the previous arguments/opinions that I have given to managers or fellow employees. Whatever. He then blew a ginormous cloud of smoke up my ass and told me that he would keep me on his "radar" for the next couple of weeks. At that time, if he sees positivity, he will consider moving me up to trainer. I think it's bullshit, and I've dropped the entire idea out of my mind. I don't care anymore. I'm just going to take what I'm given and deal with it. I need the money, I can't afford to lose my job because I don't which sections I'm put in.
Ironically, ever since that conversation with GM, I have been scheduled in four-table sections, and last Saturday night, I was even scheduled in the front of the restaurant--the best place to be. So, actually, at this point, I don't have much to complain about.
So, that's that.

Sorry for the lack of posts. I hope I still have some readers out there.

Dinner tomorrow night.

Sob

2008-09-28T22:57:00.004-04:00

Aside from having insane tables for the last few weeks, I've also been harboring this feeling like I'm being punished for something at ye ol' restaurant...
I only work 3 shifts a week now, because I have another part-time job, and I teach a writing course at the local community college. (My writing is much better when it's technical and not in ranting phase. I used to really edit my posts, but then I thought it took away from the artistic draw of the blog, which is a freestyle, get-it-out-before-I-explode, venting mechanism of sorts, which also has the potential of having a high entertainment value.)
Initially, when I brought this new availability to the schedule-writing manager, we discussed what shifts I'd like to work. I said, "If I ruled the world, I would love to work Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights." I knew I would, and I did, get a huge NO. Immediately following she says that those are "money" shifts, and it would be unfair to give me only those shifts, as they are the most sought after. Fine. Whatever. Then, Schedule Writing Manager tells me that she's in desperate need of servers for Monday night (mind you, this was 6 months ago--we're fully staffed now). I begrudgingly agreed, only because I figured that I would just pick up Friday nights. I was picking up Friday nights pretty frequently anyway, until I started teaching this teaching gig.
The class started at the end of August, and I figured I had plenty of time to plan. As I started getting into the curriculum, I was getting overwhelmed (I've never taught before--let alone at a college level), and I started freaking out. I tried to work it out until about two weeks ago, when I went to Schedule Writing Manger and mentioned that I was considering taking Monday night off my availability. I felt like I had no time in the day; between day work, night work, planning for a college-level writing course, and spending time with my family--I was swamped. Not to mention even considering the possibility of a social life. Besides, Monday nights are poop. They are a waste of my life, and since my class is on Wednesday, it seemed like a primary planning time opportunity. Having off Friday night is a tease. I have been staying home because it's my only night to plan.
Well, when I mentioned this option of removing Monday night (considering all the above), Schedule Writing Manager told me that I would have to approve it with GM because company policy states that 3 shifts is the requirement for working there. What a crock of bullshit, in my opinion.
I dropped it. I haven't said one word to the GM or any other manager. Well, last week, I was only scheduled 2 shifts and this week I'm only scheduled 2. I haven't said a word.
I am grateful; however, for the last month I have been scheduled in a 3-table section.
Nearly every shift. Even closing shifts.
After my second consecutive 3-table night, I started looking at the team sheets--hard. If I bitched too early, which I'm known to do, they would throw a number of things in my face.
1. I'm not a trainer. Trainer's are guaranteed 4-table sections (and the one new 5-table section).
2. I have late availability. I have late availability during the week because of my day job (I can't come in until 5, or the new 5:30 in-time); therefore, I'm scheduled in the back sections, and I guess they think that that makes a person a weaker server. I don't fucking know, but I know they'll try to shove it at me. They take jabs where they can.
3. I have limited availability. There are people who work over 40 hours a week (not too much over because they are pretty strict on that), and they wouldn't want to push them in a 3-table section when they put in a lot of time.
I have accepted their laws, and I take these 3 specific things into consideration when I look at the team sheet. There are a lot of rookies right now, and they are being thrown into 4-table sections before they're ready, and it's costing the restaurant money. I am a strong server--let's face it, we know who we are--we get shit done, without a hitch...usually. (There are always exceptions.) Yet, I'm in 3-table sections.
After the 3rd shift in a 3-table section, I said something to my Fav Manager (haha Fav Man...), and he fed me some line about the confusion with the sections changing. Granted, they have been changing from week to week...sometimes from day to day, but should that mean that it should be looked at with a closer eye? I don't know.
The schedule is written by Schedule Writing Manager, but on a daily basis the Manager on Duty is required to write the team sheets, make any necessary schedule changes, etc. When he/she does this, would it be so difficult as to analyze the servers scheduled, and place them accordingly? I don't understand.
This is why I'm feeling punished.
Yes, I've bitched.
Yes, I've made it known that I'm not extraordinarily happy with the way the restaurant is run.
Yes, I've been written up.
Yes, I've written a mock letter to the owner of the company that my GM found a threw away.
Yes, I've gotten into arguments with management.
Yes, I've worked over 40 hours a week.
Yes, I've run front sections successfully with zero promos.
Yes, I've had compliments from guests.
Yes, we all know, I've had complaints, but only a few.
Yes, I've worked open to close.
Yes, I've cleaned out the drains.
Yes, I've worked four doubles in a row.
Yes, I've done all of these things, regardless of any of the previous bitching, and right now, I feel like I'm being punished. Maybe it's because of my mock letter to the owner. Maybe it's because of my previous arguments. Maybe it's because they're trying to faze me out. Maybe I'm paranoid.
Even though I've been on the edge, there is a new wind right now. I'm not entirely sure it's my time to leave. There are a lot of new people, bringing new energy, and there are a lot of people who are leaving. I don't think I want to leave, unless I really have to, and now that I've been scheduled in shitty sections for the last month, it's beginning to affect my finances, so I'm feeling pressured.
Trying to go down to 2 shifts was an attempt for me to have more time to figure out the time management for my life. Now that I'm in week 6 of the course, I'm getting things down a little better. I'm adapting to the things I should prepare. I was just freaking out. I'm glad that I didn't go to the GM with it. For money purposes, I NEED to work 3 shifts a week, especially because I've been in 3-table sections.
I set up a meeting with the GM tomorrow, and I'm still not sure how to say what I want to say. Should I just sit down and ask him if I'm being punished, or should I just tell him...what? Does he really care? Does he expect me to put my 2 weeks in tomorrow because that's what they want. Okay, yes, I'm being paranoid, and, yes, I've written yet another insanely long post.
Thanks for readin' the rant, and I hope I didn't nauseate you with all the circles...

3-table section tomorrow night.

Part II (a million years later...)

2008-09-28T01:08:00.003-04:00

I have no excuse.

Part II

The saga continues...(yes I still remember every detail of this table)...

I forgot to mention that when I brought the water and beer to the table, Jerk Monkey had two empties sitting on the edge. I still had impatient, Veggie Woman's water in my left hand, so I put the beer down and quickly grabbed the two beers with one hand--a kind of swoop. Then, I set the woman's water down and walked away in a server huff. So, I walked completely out of range from the table for a few minutes--they'd be fine, but I wanted to avoid them. They had water, and food, but I knew Jerk Monkey would need another beer, pronto, so I didn't stray too far.
I decided to go check on them, and I saw my two managers talking near the kitchen, and when I walked passed, one said, "What's up with the lady and the peppers?"
I had no idea what they were talking about, since my table doesn't like to tell me stuff. Then, the other manager chimes in, "Were you rude to them?"
I look at them, shocked that we're having this conversation. I said, "I may not like them, but I'm always polite. You know that! I don't get complaints..." (Well, there was that one, but we'll call that...a mulligan, of sorts).
Manager Two says, "Well, they said that you slammed a beer down, and you've been short with them."
What does that mean? They asked questions about the menu, I answered. They ran me for beers, I ran--I may not have been smiling, but I always brought it in a timely fashion. I was asked to bring a water, and I did, only I guess I took too long. I just didn't understand why they would complain. And the woman with the peppers? What did that mean?
I manager said that he would visit the table, and I should steer clear for a minute. Fine. When I caught up with him, he said that she didn't like the peppers in the veggie mix. Okay. They said that I seemed annoyed with them...ugh...I guess it did show...and even though I was, I SWEAR I never slam shit. I was trying to be efficient. But I guess if they sense that I'm already mad, then I guess it could be portrayed as a 'slam'. Whatever. He said the table said that the service has been excellent--that doesn't make sense. So, I basically got a complaint about my attitude, not my ability as a server.

Post Complaint
I'm pissed. And, I hate them...all.

After the talk with my manager, I go to the table to wrap any leftovers. When I approach the table, Veggie Woman says, "You should warn people about the pepper." I reply, "I don't typically warn people about the peppers because they're red and green bell peppers--they're mild." She looks at me and says, "Noooo, the black pepper." I reply, "In the description it states that it's sauteed in butter with black pepper, I apologize for the confusion, next time, you're more than welcome to request it without the pepper." With that, I prebussed the table, got the men another round of beers, and when I was returning to the table, the bartender approached me and told me that a woman from my table just asked him for a birthday cake. Fuck.
Now she's asking an entirely different employee for something! She must've been afraid of me--secretly, I love that.
Well, that just pissed me off. Part of me didn't want to do it at all, considering that she didn't even ask me. What if the bartender never told me? What then? They probably would've thought that I was(n't) doing it out of spite.
I did it. I couldn't not do it. Not after I gave them great service with a bad attitude.
They lingered.
I sneered.
They left me 20%.
I was pleasantly surprised.

Sorry for the delayed (and somewhat less dramatic) ending...

Karma? (The Long Version) Part I

2008-09-19T17:10:00.005-04:00

Well, considering how my previous post was Satanic, I guess it is fitting that last night I had to wait on the Table from Hell.
A middle-aged couple sits down (probably mid-50s, early 60s), and they are waiting for another couple to arrive. The woman immediately goes to the restroom, while I greet her husband, eagerly waiting my arrival at his table. He proceeds to request a very bizarre margarita (tequila, triple-sec, Gran Marnier, and razzmatazz) for his wife, and a beer for himself. He didn't even really know what he was saying--he said his wife wanted something "different." So he took ingredients from every drink on the menu. When he ordered the margarita, I told him that I would have to check with the bartender to make sure that that was something we could (a) do, and (2) would it taste good. (Before I walked away he made sure to tell me that he needed more salsa. And he really wasn't letting me do any explaining...he was just talking.)
A manager actually visited the table to make sure they knew what they were getting themselves into price-wise.
Out of the gate: High maintenance drink order and greedy with the salsa.

So, fine. When I delivered the drinks, the woman was at the table. I set the drink down and she said she had a question about the menu. She asks her question about an item that included a shrimp based sauce over steak. She wasn't sure if she was going to like the sauce, so I assured her we would be happy to put it on the side (I do say shit like that--I have a schpeal for everything). I described the sauce pretty well (if I do say so myself) and thought that we were in a clear understanding about the dish. After I was speaking to the wife, Jerk Monkey was tapping his half-full beer bottle, nodding his head with a mouthful of the first half.
"I'll bring another beer and more salsa right out."

Drink order/Menu Questions: Pretty slow on the uptake. The wife seemed pretty ditsy when I was talking to her about the menu. Jerk Monkey (husband) = a drunk
Still high maintenance.

When I brought back Jerk Monkey's 2nd beer, he was holding a nearly-empty salsa cup up. I didn't say anything--I set down his beer and the other thing of salsa. He says, "Can you bring me another cup of water?" In the bottom of the cup was a little bit of salsa juice, that did look watered down--whatthefuckever. "I'll bring more salsa over for you." I say dryly. Jerk Monkey then says, "and bring me another beer." "Sure," I say.
The other couple still has yet to arrive.

Preliminary: He is already on my nerve. He's a greedy, sloppy drunk, and his wife is an idiot.

I took a little bit of time going back to the table because I wanted to space out the beers a little bit--if this guy was planning on ordering a beer every time I was at the table, he would be hammered by the time he left. And I knew he would eat the other cup of salsa, while he was waiting for his cup of "water." I made sure to strain every little tiny bit of juice out of that salsa. And he ate every morsel.

I returned with his 3rd beer and the other couple had arrived. They both ordered beers (Jerk Monkey ordered his 4th), and seemed relatively normal. The one woman had never been here before, so she was asking some questions. One question in particular was about the side of sauteed vegetables. I told her every single veggie (zucchini, squash, onions, peppers (red/green bell--mild, not spicy), mushrooms, carrots, broccoli, sauteed in butter and seasoned with black pepper). That's the schpeal. I gave them some time, yadda, yadda, yadda.

After dinner order: Still cringe at Jerk Monkey, but the rest of the table is pleasant. (I have a trunk-full of server characters that I dress up as from day to day, and last night, with this table, I was the dry, soft-spoken, yet polite server.) I'm not really trying to be overly-friendly at all, but I'm getting them the things they need.

A few minutes after they order, I swing passed the table, and see they need chips. Jerk Monkey taps his bottle, asking for his 5th. He orders one for his friend as well.

When the food arrived, I delivered everything neatly, telling them what everything was as I set it down (the usual treatment). My man orders his 6th, and when I set down his entree he says, "Is this the entree portion?" Well, it would be an awfully large appetizer (I think to myself). My actual response was, "It is a very filling dish, sir, but if you'd like something else, I'd be happy to get it for you." I ordered his beer immediately and as I was coming back with it, Jerk Monkey is standing by the kitchen doors. I go up to him, and he frantically tells me that there's something wrong with his wife's meal. I figured it wasn't well-done as she requested. And, as I was approaching the table, Jerk Monkey grabbed A-1 off another table and set it down in front of his wife (side note: I hate when tables grab stuff from other tables, and I'm at the table--pet peeve).
She looks at me with shrugged shoulders and says, "Where's the shrimp?" I say, "It's in the sauce that's on the side," and I point to the saucer. Maybe it was snotty, I don't know. But at that time I asked everyone how everything was, and they all said it was delicious.

When I came back a few minutes later, Veggie Woman (not to be confused with Shrimp woman), asked me for water. Jerk Monkey orders his 7th. As I'm returning, minutes later with their requests, the woman is talking to another server about water. I set her water down on the table and I delivered his beer.

Dinner: They are pissing me off. Every time I go to the table they need something, they've been helping themselves, and asking other servers for things when I'm being attentive. How much more attention do you people need??

I know I was kinda bitchy then--as I brushed passed her I said, "Your water is on the table."

To be continued...(we're just getting to the good part, too...)

As I write this, it occurs to me that they aren't actually the table from hell, but I did feel like some kind of bad karma had come my way, so my radical, bitchy self somehow transformed this table into Satan's children. Oy. Don't fret, there's more to come...I just took too long to write this, and now I'm out of time...

Maybe I Am Satan

2008-09-01T02:44:00.003-04:00

Last night I worked the patio--I have never seen so many out of control children. Parents were just letting there children run all over the place! At one point, when I was at the wait station I said, "I hate children." To this comment, a co-worker turned to me and said, "That's just evil. Only the devil hates kids." Well, maybe I am Satan, but children should be taught to behave, and shouldn't be left to run wild through a patio that is a accident waiting to happen. And, as an amendment to my comment about hating children, I say, "I hate inattentive parents." Every last one of the parents on the patio last night were more concerned with their adult conversation then their children getting a plate in the face.
At one point, I was taking an order at a table, and when I backed up to walk away, I knocked this little boy who was standing behind me. He smacked his face on the chair, and I immediately apologized, but inside I was strangling the parents. What are you doing??
Parents, teach children that sitting while eating is customary. If you choose to eat while running around, wrestling with your brother, or racing in between tables, then you may not be in the right establishment--that's called Chucky *fucking* Cheese.
Thank you.

On the Edge

2008-08-26T19:15:00.002-04:00

I've been on the verge, now I'm on the edge...of quitting. You all must think I've been dangling on this edge for quite some time--well, for a while, I was merely meandering around the edge, not getting too close. Now, times have changed.
President's have changed, and have decided that making changes in his new restaurant is a great way to make a first impression. He sucks. He has not said one word to an employee, unless prompted by an outstretched hand or an audible greeting. His hand shakes like a fish, and his eyes wander anywhere but the conversation.
This new President has decided to make asinine changes--he changed sections, he changed in-times, he changed the arrangement of our stocked items, he changed arrangement of tables. He's After his first attempt at changing sections failed, he decided to change again (unaware or uninterested in the fact that we change them ourselves from time to time, as an establishment). His newest change, has me swinging my feet over the edge about to jump. We have 14 sections, from the front to the back of the restaurant. He has decided, oh, he in his infinite wisdom of corporate policies and accounting mumbo jumbo, that the first 6 sections must be at least 1/2 or 3/4 of the way full (2 or 3 tables each) before seating sections 7-14. WTF? This pisses me off because I have another job, so I can't start working during the week until 5:00--sections 7-14 come in at 5:00. Bull shit. The other night, I was closing, and I was in section 9--I didn't have a full section until nearly 7:00, and by that time, I was ready to go ballistic.
Even though I'm this close to quitting, I can't afford to not wait tables, so I will just find another stupid serving spot.
And the cycle continues.

A Perfect Example

2008-08-17T01:46:00.003-04:00

Tonight started off weird. I realized, as I was getting ready for work, that I didn't have my server book. It wasn't the fact that I didn't have the book (I have an extra), it was that I had an actual paycheck in there and a few of my rantings. I tend to write while I work, rather than flip out on a ridiculous patron or management. It's worked. Well, I've had rantings in there for quite a while (because I haven't had time to blog them--after which, I typically throw them away), and I was worried that they had fallen into the wrong hands.
The first thing I did when I got in to work was go in the office. I asked one of the managers if he had seen my server book, which he had; he remembered puttin it aside since there was a paycheck in it. He and I, and another manager, searched the office, to no avail. I did tell him there were rantings in there, but I thought it was no big wup since they all know I blog. No book. So I leave the office for about ten minutes, and then I return. I see a book sitting right on the office counter, and I point to it (thinking that it's probably the one book I did find that wasn't mine). It was mine, minus the rantings.
I ask the managers if they have them--no one knows anything. I even asked the GM (he knows I blog too), nothing. I said something to a fellow server about it, and she said she saw "Manager" with them. When I approached him he said GM had them. At this point, I say, "Listen, I don't care who has them, at this point, I just want them thrown away." BTW, one of the rantings was a mock-letter that I would love to send to the owner, but going through with sending it would essentially be a waste of my time.
They give me this fucking runaround, which is pissing me off. Finally, I get really serious, and I the MOD to be straight with me. He said he read a couple lines, then gave it to GM, who read a little bit and threw it away. Why couldn't they just tell me that? Why did they have to be so cryptic and weird about it? At one point, MOD said something about my rantings expressing that we servers don't get ANY respect, and I believe this is a prime example. If they respected me, I don't care if they read it and threw it away, they should've just told me that. We're adults, not 10 year-olds playing keep-away with their little sister.
I shook it off after a little while, but it did piss me off. The rest of the night was fine. Made decent money for how slow it was. It'll pick up soon though--school's back in session soon.

Patio Monday Night.

More Apologies

2008-08-03T02:18:00.001-04:00

I haven't forgotten about blogging! I've just been working like a DOG!! As usual, I guess. I'm hoping to have some time coming up, but I'm not going to make any promises. I closed tonight, and I do have a few things written in my server book that I want to discuss, but it's too late. I promise, I haven't stopped bitching!

Lunch tomorrow.

Hurtin'

2008-07-18T00:25:00.003-04:00

I am hurtin' for cash! I worked last night, which was a bust--but I was out by 9:30, which is great in our place (and, now I'm even more depressed because I figured out the math, and I made shit). Tonight, I did pretty well, considering it was pretty dead for most of the evening. Big Heads are in town again. The Regional GM (RGM) and the new President of the company--that's super big. Everything was changing. They took away our rolling station, and replaced it with the highchairs/boosters/slings. I approve of the this change because the boosters were likely to topple at any moment, and guests (and employees) have knocked a tower over from time to time, and that's dangerous. I've even seen a stupid host pick up a highchair and nearly slam a guest with it. They just weren't in a great spot. But, I am disliking it because now they are talking about not letting us roll silverware during the shift. This sucks because I like to keep up on it, so we don't have to roll a TON at the end of the night. We had to roll 90 tonight, and it sucks. If we keep up on it, it could be half. Anyway. (I usually just let all the hoards take all the silver, I do my sidework, and clean my section, and by the time I'm finished, there's barely enough for 90--I work around it most of the time.) The Big Heads are here tomorrow too, but I don't think they'll be staying too late into the dinner rush. Everyone's just all uptight. And big-headed.
I don't really like to talk smack about my co-workers on here, but this girl pissed me off! She's in good with management, particularly the GM. I'm pretty sure that's the only reason she still works there. She's mean to the rookies, and she's mean to the guests. She can run tables, but not very happily. This is all contradicted by the fact that she's a loud-mouth, too-much-make-up-wearing-perverted-35-year-old-who-goes-after-18-year-olds-bitch. When I first started, she tried to sabotage me. She's just dirty. But, she's in good with the GM, and I learned that nobody wins against her, so I decided to be cordial, but not go out of my way. One day, I got her back for the sabotaging, and I spoke with GM friend very frankly about the things that she was doing (crushing chips on my tables, spilling salsa on chairs in my section, sweeping shit into my section after I cleaned it--shit like that). So, yes, I tattled. I don't care. But, from then on, she was nice to me, whatever. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. That definitely comes into play here.
Well, tonight, I was a little busy, not in the weeds, but pushin it. I was running a credit card, when I see this girl and her trainee (yup, and she's the meanest trainer ever--ridiculous) dropping my food. I realize I hadn't brought a side-plate for the man's entree, so I run to grab him one. The way our restaurant is set up, people are sitting on top of each other. Tables are pretty close together, and sometimes, I can see it being uncomfortable for the guest, but people fill those tables. It was a two top, and she had already given the woman her meal, I got the plate, but the tray was in front of me, the trainee, in front of the tray, beside bitchy lady, in front of the table. I reached around gave her the plate, and told the man I'd grab him a refill. I thought that gave her time to finish dropping the food, and I was still taking care of the table. She said, right in front of my table, to her trainee, "She should really drop this." Meanwhile, I have a credit card slip that I need to give to a table who is ready to leave. I didn't leave her dropping a six-top. Then, I saw her heading in to the office with GM. I got paranoid. She loves telling on me. I went up to another manager, told him the story, and told him that she was in the office spewing her evil on GM. The other manager went in, and told me that she was telling on me, but there was something else more serious that had nothing to do with me. Fine. GM never said anything to me, but that doesn't mean he won't wait for another day. She's such a super-bitch, I can't stand it.
That dampened the evening, but then my sister, her husband, and their two friends came in and sat with me, so that made everything better...for a little while at least.

I picked up tomorrow night.

Fallin' Off

2008-07-15T20:02:00.002-04:00

I've been so busy lately, I haven't really worked...that's both good and bad. I really need the money. It sucks being broke. Hopefully someday I won't have to worry--or wait tables. Ugh.
Both last week and this week, I was scheduled on the patio. Last week, it rained, so I was sent home. Yesterday, I was on the patio, and I had one table in an hour and a half and made $2 (it was a small child and a grandma sharing a salad). I was so frustrated. I was also frustrated that they had so many people on a Monday night. There were 12 servers inside, 2 on the patio, and 2 bartenders. Everyone was standing around with their thumbs up their ass. It was beat.
There was no need for 2 people on the patio. That's where seniority should've come in....
I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead. I really don't want to get into bitching about management again.

Dinner tomorrow (no patio!).

Super-Duper-Looper

2008-07-06T12:26:00.000-04:00

Saturday was the roller coaster ride from hell. The evening didn't start out well because I knew that I was in a piss-poor section for a closer. I was all the way in the back of the restaurant. That sucks! Not only are the hostesses too fucking lazy to walk tables to the back, when they do, it's big-tops. My restaurant requires a table of 10 or more to be split--fucking ridiculous, I know, but their motive is speed. Management believes that with two servers the table will turn faster. They are right and wrong about this, but I'm not bitching about that.
Regardless, a 13-top was sat, using 3 of my 4 tables, and I had to split with this girl that I can run circles around in my sleep. She's slow and mopey and kind of a pain to split parties with. Anyhow, we get it going, meanwhile I have one 3-top and Mopey Molly has 2 and an open big-top in her section. They seat it with a 10-top, and I suggest that we split it (under the same pretences as the 13 was), she says, "I can take it by myself." Insinuating that I was suggesting she was incapable of taking the table. "That's not what I meant," I said, "I just thought I'd make a couple extra bucks while running 1 and a half tables." "Oh, well, I've already gotten them drinks." She says as she walks away. I wouldn't have wanted to share it either, but I probably would've asked, considering we were using nearly my entire section for a table that we share.
Needless to say, it was rocky, and I was rocky. I was a bitchy mess for the majority of the evening.
Cuts went up early, and this is where the roller coaster started to get fun, rather than sickening. As soon as cuts went up, a stream of people came through the door. One table after another. We were getting sat almost consistently for 20 minutes after cuts went up. It was awesome. Running 7 tables makes the entire night worth it. I got better tips after cuts than I have all week. I ended up leaving with decent money, even though I tipped out nearly $40 (ugh). I was pleased with outcome.

No restaurant until Wednesday. :)

Amendment

2008-07-03T23:39:00.001-04:00

I would like to start by posting an amendment to my previous post. Written earlier in the week, I decided that it was a waste of my time to bitch about my restaurant. Even though I'm going to try to accept the way it's run, my bitchiness will have to be channeled elsewhere...I have chosen the guests. They do so many nice things for me, I figure I'll give them the spotlight for a while. Why not?
Tonight I felt like I was waiting on people from Mars. They just weren't right...I don't know. I was sat with a five-top (2 couples and the odd man). They ranged in age from 40 - 65. They were alright (at first). Then things started to go wrong. They start to order dinner, and I always ask the ladies first. Lady 1 orders, fine, Lady 2 begins to order, and Lady 1 begins to spastically half-wave to me behind her friend. I'm trying to ignore stupid, Spazzy McLady 1, but I'm having trouble asking the menu questions with her right behind her friend. Finally, I turn to Lady 1, without saying a word. "We'd like separate checks." She says, out of breath from all that subtle waving. "Let me know at the end of your meal." I said this as quickly and dryly as possible and continued taking Lady 2's order. How rude?!?! And to think, she had to ask me that question right then, at that very moment, because God-forbid she may never see me again. Absurd. So fine, they order, whatever...then, as I'm delivering their food, Odd Man asks for another fork, I nod to him and continue delivering the tray. I haven't even left the table yet and he says, "My fork?" I look at him and I did say, "I'll have your fork in a moment, sir, I haven't left yet." I do feel bad about it now, but I felt it was so demanding at the time. I clearly acknowledged him when he asked for it. I'm not sure where he thought I could pull it from, but it really annoyed me. I made it up to them by giving them efficient service, and I brought them their separate checks without being reminded. Although, Lady 2 tried to remind me, but I anticipated it and answered before she could ask. They were decent tippers.
The next Mars-ian table were these two old women. It was like Grandmom and Great Grandmom out to dinner. Bad idea. I greeted the table to this, "I'm gonna need an orange soda, another side of salsa, chips no salt, extra paper napkins, and two plates." All in one breath. I shit you not. I said nothing and returned with their items. I felt like I was going to scream. I gave them one million years to look through the menu because every time I approached them, they still had no idea. Great Grandmom didn't have her glasses. Didn't have her glasses, or didn't feel like reading the menu herself. Every time I stopped by, I answered a few questions. Finally we start talking about one specific menu item, which is a basic grilled chicken breast dinner with fries, nothing fancy, very mild, yadda, yadda, yadda. I spent 15 minutes trying to talk to these women about this entree. Meanwhile, I had a margarita sitting at the bar. I tried to grab another server in view, but it was difficult. (I did make eye-contact with the woman waiting, so I think she understood that I was being held up.) These women were so confused. At one point, I was describing our vegetable medley (an alternative to fries) and I told them it was seasoned with black pepper, and she says, "Black peppers??" "No, black pepper." This is when I feel like slapping my forehead and walking away. Black peppers? Yes, we season everything with black peppers...on Mars! Finally, their order is in. Eating was a slow process, and when they were finished, they needed boxes. Well, at this point, I was tired, so I offered to bring them boxes. I knew they would be particular about the way it was packed, so I decided to save myself the hassle. I brought them boxes, and got, "I'm gonna need, another box, a cup for the salsa, a lid for the sauce, and fresh chips to-go." They also needed separate checks because the couldn't figure out what they each owed. What a mess. Senior Citizens should not be allowed to dine unsupervised. I've said that for a long time, and tonight it has been proven once again. I'm going to start a movement for necessary supervision.

See, no worries, I'll always find something to bitch about!

Close Saturday.

Accepting the Inevitable

2008-07-02T00:38:00.002-04:00

Tonight, while talking with a good friend from work, I realized that my constant need to berate the restaurant is slowly fading. I'm coming to understand that I'm fighting a losing battle. I'm a little thick-headed, what can I say?
Now that I've nit-picked the restaurant up and down the walls, I fully understand the way this restaurant runs. I know how to act depending on the manager on duty, and I know the way that things will flow depending on the kitchen manager. Knowing this, I have begun to adapt to the idiosyncrasies around me while I have to be there. This makes the evening less painful for everyone.
I don't think I'll ever be able to keep my mouth shut completely, but it's getting better. I know the blogs have been bleak...they have been for a while now. I'm pretty busy, and time doesn't really lend itself to too much writing. But I'll try. I think I'm going to try to focus on the idea of "informing the non-serving public" with my blogs, rather than bitching about a restaurant that I can never change. Instead, I need to use the information I have to my advantage. I'll try.

Toast: To Bitchy Waitress' never-ending quest to stop bitching.

Patio tomorrow! I hope it's beautiful! Keep your fingers crossed!

What's Seniority?

2008-06-21T01:21:00.002-04:00

Lately, it has become apparent that my establishment disregards seniority altogether. We have a very new staff (summer always brings 'em around), and although I think we've finally found some good eggs, I think management is swelling their pretty green heads. There are a handful of rooks who are pretty smart and picked things up rather quickly (imagine that), and management has already started scheduling these people in sections that were once considered senior sections. Now, they're for rooks apparently. They've even been scheduling new people on the patio, which was definitely a senior section when I first started. It's frustrating.
Thursday night was my first patio shift all season. I was excited, and it was worth it. It was a gorgeous day, and patio people are generally pretty happy.
Although, as I always say, there are exceptions. I did have this one family--an 8-top, who were miserable from the start. I could barely hear any of them, they were talking down at the table, rather than up, looking at their server. It was weird. They didn't really have facial expressions. The mother ended up sending her entree back, claiming it was undercooked. I couldn't tell if they were pissed or just miserable people. They ended up leaving 18%.
Hopefully there are more patio shifts in my future...

Off this weekend--no restaurant until Wednesday! Wow.

What a Monday!

2008-06-16T23:53:00.003-04:00

I went into work hoping to make money, but confident that Monday wouldn't bring out too many patrons. To my surprise, it was relatively busy. I just got stuck with every high-maintenance table possible. It started off with the most high-maintenance family on Earth!
Of course, they are ready to order the moment I greet them (which isn't always bad, but in this instance, I could've shot someone). The parents may have been ready to order, but the process of asking their children what they wanted was done in my presence, tapping my foot, scratching my head with my pen, and finally stepping away long enough to ask a fellow-server to run refills. Finally they order, but it's highly modified. No this, no that, only this, don't bring this. All four modified their order. Unbelievable. Then, as I'm standing at the computer, the mother comes up to me and asks for barbecue sauce for her daughter to dip her chips in...ew. At this point, I'm in the weeds, and NO ONE was doing any sidework. We have a very green team right now, and they are lazy, lazy, lazy. I could've fought someone. I was tempted to hit someone with the ice bucket, but I didn't want to create a scene.
The daughter must've drank the bbq sauce, because she stood up in the isle next to her table to ask me for another side. Ew again. Meanwhile, dad has sucked down his iced tea, and junior has sucked down his soda. When the food finally comes out, there was some garnish on the plate, and the mother says to me urgently, "Take that off the plate! They won't eat it." I look at her blankly, and hand it to the passing manager.
MOD (manager on duty) fixes the kids' meals when I meet her in the kitchen. I get them out lickity-split, and the mother hands me a pile of fries and says, "Can we have hot fries?" Sure. This is all putting me farther and farther in the weeds. I didn't do too bad, but I definitely neglected a couple of my low-maintenance tables. That makes me feel bad.
My second HM table was a middle-aged couple who knew the menu better than I did (or they acted as if they did). They asked for obscure things that just were a pain in the ass. Like dressing and sauces to dip their chips in...weird. They went through more chips than I thought were possible for two people to consume. Yuck.
Then, after the HM family left, the hostess told me that my family was waiting. I was happy they decided to come in and see me, but I wasn't quite out of the weeds, so at first, I was a little annoyed. My mom was acting silly, and I love that side of her, but she got under my skin a little bit. Like, when she was trying to order a drink, like she never had one before, "What's that drink I like with the salt around the rim?"
"Uh, a margarita, mom, you know, like the drinks we had last night?" And, because they're my family, they are very time-consuming. They want to chat, and ask questions about the menu, and I don't mind that, but at the time, I was a little annoyed. It was really a culmination of running for every other table, then have to run harder for my family. Mom kept saying she was in no rush, but I also didn't want them to feel like I wouldn't work for them...if that makes sense. Well, I fucked it up anyway because I forgot mom's beer (she switched after that funny salt drink).
An exhausting evening, to say the least.

Dinner Wednesday.

Cute Little Something

2008-06-10T16:19:00.003-04:00

This is a cute little something from the other night:

I go over to greet the 2-top that has just been sat in my section, "Hello, how are you?" The two teen-aged misfits (obviously on some kind of awkward first date) just stared at me big-eyed, as if they didn't know why I was at their table. So, I ask them if they'd like something to drink. The boy chimes up quickly: "Do you have virgin Pina coladas?" he asks in a high-pitched, Steve-Erkel (sp)-gone-bad kind of way. "Yes we do." I nod to him, then turn to the girl, "and for you?" She looks at me blankly and says, "Do you have virgin martinis?" I barely held down a snort, trying not to laugh, "I've got Daiquiris, how's that?" She smiled, that's exactly what she wanted, she just didn't know--and, I didn't have the heart to tell her.

It would have been hysterical if I brought her olives...

La-ti-da, no work till Thursday!

A Heart to Heart

2008-06-08T07:28:00.001-04:00

The continuing saga...
Where was I?? Oh, yeah, sobbing in the parking lot after being sent home by a manager who left me. Weird. Frustrated just wasn't the word. I just had to suck it up and get over it. That's just what I did.
First thing Monday morning, I went in early for my 5:00 shift to speak to GM. We sat down, and I told him that I didn't feel I was given a fair trial. I explained what I heard, and he apologized for the miscommunication. His reason for being so furious was somewhat valid. Over the course of the last six months, all I seem to do is complain. He felt like some of my complaints were valid, but wondered why I would stay in a place I so badly wanted to change. I expressed to him what I explained previously, that something is keeping me there. I don't know what it is...perhaps it's because this is the first place where I am proud of the food I serve. It's not too pretentious, the atmosphere is great, and people generally don't have any complaints. I like the people I work with--I have made some wonderful friends over the last 1 1/2 I've been with the restaurant. And, at times, it can be fun. There are just some underlying issues that I see, that I can't help but express.
I understand his point of view. I'm annoying. I don't mean to be annoying, really I don't, but I know that I am and sometimes my personality is difficult to work with. A few months ago, one of the other managers sat down with me to discuss my attitude and why I'm so negative about the restaurant (this, by the way, is why I'm not a trainer, and I understand that also). Since then, I have been making a strong effort to be more pleasant to work with--constructive rather than complaining.
Bottom line, the conversation was positive. We're beginning on a clean slate, and that means, I'm beginning with a better attitude. It's much easier now that I'm not working so much.

I actually haven't checked my schedule, so I'm not sure when I work this week...

Are you Kidding??

2008-06-02T11:10:00.005-04:00

Saturday night started off fine. I was in a great mood. Everyone was in a good mood...or so I thought. When shit hit the fan, I didn't even have time to duck for cover. I really don't know what happened, but the ridiculous meter is off the fucking charts!
I was scheduled to close, and I was actually looking forward to it because rent was due the next day.
One of the first things I did upon entering work was find my General Manager and thank him for allowing me the opportunity to train a couple evenings before. I thanked him. Does that sound right? I didn't think so. I thanked him. Although, in my heart of hearts, I knew that I should have been thanked--just as I should have been offered a training position 6 months prior. But whatever. I thanked him and that was that.
So, the night was going just fine. It was around 9:00-ish. I had a six-top whose food I just delivered. Before leaving the table, one man told me that his steak was cold. I immediately took it to the kitchen. The kitchen manager promptly told his staff to put the steak in the microwave! In the fucking microwave! I don't even know why we have one of those! We don't microwave! Upon hearing this information, I ran and tattled! I'll be damned if I serve a microwaved steak! My GM assured me that the KM would not microwave the entree. Well, dontchaknow, when I got that plate from the kitchen it was scalding hot! That means, it was microwaved. I was pissed. I begrudgingly delivered the steak, and when I went back to check on him, he looked at me, then at his wife, and replied, "It's all right." I felt awful, especially because I knew why it was just "all right."
I was pissed, fuming around the restaurant, when my GM approached me. I told him that the guest was not happy with his meal, but he didn't send it back again, so I wasn't sure if GM was even going to take it off the bill (stingy isn't the word). I was standing about 20 feet away from my GM when he said to me, (or so I thought), "Are you going to comp the check??" "No," I said as I scrunched up my face. With that, my GM's eyes bulged out of their sockets, the vein in his forehead poked the guests behind me, he pointed at me, and told me I was going home! What?! I was so confused. I didn't understand what just took place.
I followed GM into the kitchen, whereupon I asked him why I was going home. He said, "I asked if you were going to calm down, and you said 'No'--you're going home." I smacked myself in the forehead and tried to explain what I heard, but it was too late. He didn't want my explanations. He didn't want my excuses. He just wanted me to go home. I asked if we could discuss the situation. Apparently, if we were to discuss it, my GM would say something he would regret. Fine, "Am I fired?" No, I wasn't fired, I was just sent home. What bull shit!
So, I was being sent home because I did not hear my GM. I felt betrayed in a way, somehow...like the man with the steak. I finished up my tables in a ball of tears, upset and worried that I wouldn't be able to pay rent. I was distraught for the team that I was leaving, considering I wouldn't be there to help close. I just felt bad. When my tables finally finished up, I went back to turn in my "cash out" and the other manager was in the office. "Where's GM?" I asked, sniffling, but hoping to discuss this situation further (I like to fix things). "His shift was over. He's gone," I'm informed.
Are you fucking kidding?
"You're telling me that this man gave me a punishment, then didn't stick around long enough to make sure that it was followed through with?"
The other manager just shrugged his shoulders. I felt abandoned. I felt like my superior unjustly sent me home, then took the coward's road straight home. Fuck that.
I finished "cashing out," grabbed my things and ran out of there, still crying for the fact that I was short for rent. Once I returned home, I realized that I was only $20 short, so all was fine, but I still felt really hurt and upset by the entire situation.

I will post the continuing saga after tonight's shift. Sorry for the lack of posts--busy just isn't the word to describe what's been going on in my life. :) Happy Reading!

Dinner tonight.

Surprise, Surprise!

2008-05-30T16:59:00.002-04:00

I worked last night, and to my surprise, they had me training! I haven't officially been made a trainer, but they're "throwing" people in to see how they would do--or something like that. In fact, they didn't even inform me that I was training--after shift meeting, I went up toward the host-stand, when this very tall gentleman came over and introduced himself as my trainee. I thought it was a bit unprofessional to not tell the trainer that she's training, but I got over it quickly.
It was my first time training in this restaurant, and I can't lie--it wasn't easy. It helped that my trainee was smart and caught on quickly. Too bad it was slower than molasses. Super slow. I felt bad that we didn't have work to do. Then again, he said we seemed pretty busy, but he hasn't seen us in action yet. The entire bar was empty! Crazy. All in all, I think it went well. I hope they continue putting me on as trainer. Yay.
This week coming up is Graduation Week, so hopefully the bucks start flying! I've been praying for rain (in the form of fifty-dollar bills)!

Close Tomorrow.

Detached

2008-05-28T23:33:00.003-04:00

Tonight was fine. Tonight was actually one of the better nights I've worked. Morale was good. Good staff. Good. I didn't make great money, but I was out of there at a decent time (and did well for the actual time spent). Anyway...
I think part of the reason tonight wasn't that bad was because I hadn't worked in a week. It's crazy the things that happened while I was gone. There are new bartenders, new servers, new managers, new drama (another senior quit). Just a lot of shit. A lot of shit that I didn't have an opinion about because I wasn't around. It felt good. It really did feel good to be detached.

Dinner tomorrow.

Mini-Vaca...not really

2008-05-26T22:41:00.003-04:00

I haven't worked at the restaurant since last weekend, and that feels great, but man, I've been busy! This weekend my cousin got married, so I drove with my family 6 hours to attend. It was a great time, but exhausting!

Because of my weekend excursion, I'm totally broke, so I predict some extra shifts in my future!

Stay tuned...

Dinner Wednesday.

Gripe of the Day

2008-05-21T12:49:00.002-04:00

I haven't even been in the restaurant for two days, and I have a gripe. I have a gripe because of my scheduled shift this evening. I know that everyone has availability, and it's hard to accommodate a lot of people, but that's when seniority should have the upper-hand. When I started this new job, I only wanted to work Thurs, Fri, and Saturday nights. That was a big fat "NO." So, then I reverted to Wed, Thurs, and Sat, but my manager told me that they DESPERATELY need people Monday nights. It's amazing how busy Mondays are! (I hope you sense the sarcasm.) So fine, I gave her Mon, Wed, Thurs, and Sat (with the deal that she would only schedule me 3 of the 4 days). In addition, I told her that I would close the restaurant every Saturday night, if she didn't schedule me to close during the week. I have to wake up early, and it's difficult after getting out of there at 1. So, like clockwork, the last three weeks (the first three weeks of my new job), I have successfully closed at least one of my weekday shifts and the Saturday night shift.
I want to go in there and demand respect...demand a schedule that will not deem all-nighters...demand that she get off her high-horse, quit writing the schedule out of spite, and start respecting the people she's scheduling.
I know how daunting it is to write a schedule, I did it for nearly three years. I understand the frustration of everyone having separate schedules, but I also know the value of good employees, and I have great organizational skills. Once all the ethics are in place, the schedule practically writes itself.

Monday Blah-day

2008-05-19T12:52:00.002-04:00

Once again, I would rather not drag myself to that restaurant again, but I suppose there is no other way for me to keep my house except work. Ugh.

Saturday night was weirdly slow. The interesting part about the evening was that, even though we were slow, tickets still managed to come out of the kitchen wrong--not completely wrong, but they would forget stupid shit--shit that they should not be forgetting. So, I said something to the MOD about the fact that the kitchen only had five tickets in the window and I needed a table-call because of their laziness/illiteracy. She turned to me and told me that the kitchen was dealing with other forms of stress and that's why. Okay, so great, you can fully justify a stupid mistake by your kitchen staff, but the moment one of the servers has to have something "promo-ed" we get reamed for it, talked to about it, or have tables taken away. Unbelievable.

This week is ridiculously busy, but I fully intend on signing up for "Lunch with GM."
I also fully intend on making his head spin.

Dinner tonight.

Conclusions

2008-05-16T09:59:00.006-04:00

I've come to the conclusion that I simply cannot wait so long between posts anymore! Even though I'm only at the restaurant 3 nights a week, there is still so much going on, that it really is stressing me out.
The GM started this thing a few weeks ago--"Have lunch with GM!" He has a slot on Tuesday and one on Thursday. At first, I thought I would spare him and keep my opinions to myself (it never goes anywhere anyway), but at this point, morale is so low, I feel it's necessary. It's cyclical, which I've explained before, and I would like him to see the cycle. I've already expressed my feelings here, but I think it's time.
However, I do have my concerns. Now that I'm only working a couple nights a week, I don't know if he'll take me seriously. No, I really don't like waiting tables, but I do take pride in my job and the establishment where I work. No matter what my job is, I take pride. And that's the thing. Obviously, something has kept me there--the people, the cuisine, the patrons, the money--something has kept a lot of us there, and those people should be respected and know their worth at the company. We don't know our worth--we know that we are disposable and could be cut at any moment. It should have to be that way.
I don't want to leave and go to another restaurant. I know this one, and I'd prefer to stick around in a place where I'm comfortable (to a degree).
I'll write more later...

Guess What?

2008-05-14T11:40:00.001-04:00

I really don't want to work tonight! :(

I Miss You

2008-05-11T23:35:00.005-04:00

I had no idea that transitioning into this job would be so difficult...well, it's not really difficult, but it's an adjustment I didn't realize would take so much out of me. I really like my new job. And I really enjoy the part about me not being at the restaurant as much. The ridiculous meter is off the charts.

Cinco
Cinco de Mayo, a lovely drinking holiday that brings everyone out. We were insanely busy (even though it was a Monday). We had tents set up outside, and the patio. I was inside, which I was bummed about at first, but I got over it. I was in a decent section, with happy patrons, and happy employees. I ended up getting sat with a co-worker and her eight friends, so that really made my evening enjoyable. It was the longest day of my life, but well worth it monetarily.

Drama
All last weekend we considered Cinco because it fell on a Monday. So, the first day of Cinco (Friday) the computers went down. Down-down. I, luckily, was not working, but the crash kits were pulled out and everything was done manually. Saturday morning when I got there, they were still down. Crash kits again. Everyone was tense, and those who had worked the night before were already frustrated because they already had one shitty shift, and they felt like they had to get ready for another. It was extremely difficult. When a "turn-and-burn" restaurant's computer system goes down that usually means that they are fucked. Especially during a holiday weekend. (I call it karma, but I'll get to that in a minute.) I only worked lunch Saturday (again, luckily), and I stayed in the zone to make sure that I was doing everything right. I wrote everything legibly for the kitchen staff, made sure to tally up the ticket properly. It's just weird because it's not what we're used to. If this were a diner, we'd have no problems. We had the prehistoric credit card machines--automatic rubbing system--pretty funny. But, we only had one, so that was a pain in the ass. When the shift was coming to a close, I immediately figured out my own sales, food sales, liquor sales, and asked to "check out" before completing my side-work. My GM and I sat down, did the entire check-out and agreed on the amount owed, etc.
Well, that night I hear that check-outs didn't go so smoothly. People claim they didn't make enough money, or that they owed too much. Some say that management on duty didn't know the proper formulas to figure out cash owed, etc. It was a mess. It even caused a senior server to quit, and it's a shame because she was a very hard worker and a good server.

Stupid Shit
Last night (Saturday) I got my ass kicked. I was in the first section, the farthest from the servers' station and the kitchen. It's a great section, but it's hard! I was sat my first 3 tables within 15 minutes. That's how the night started, and that's how it proceeded for the remainder of the shift. I snapped at the hostess (like we all do), which I had to apologize for later, because she is my friend, but it did upset me that she was seating me so incessantly. I know that it's preposterous to say this, but I really do wish that we could put the hostesses in our shoes for one day--shit, one round of being flat-sat, then tell me if they'll do it again. I say it's preposterous because of course we know that they wouldn't last, but maybe if they had some perspective...who am I kidding...
Moving on with the flat-seating...When I bitch about said flat-seat, I get this response, "Ask for help." If all servers are being flat sat, then they really don't have time to help others (there are usually a couple servers who are good for help, but on a whole everyone starts fending for themselves after the shift picks up). I know that being in the section I was in last night, I found it very difficult to find time to help anyone. That's also why no one can keep up with running side-work. If everyone is scrambling to get out of the weeds (and let's face it, some of them don't), no one can do anything. Pace the wait (I know I've talked about this before).

No Smoking
Ever since some dumb asses decided to tell the RGM they were going out to smoke, there is a ZERO tolerance level on smoking. Over Cinco, however, that did fall off a bit, so last night, I took a chance. Around 8:30, I told the GM that the trash was overflowing, and I would take it out. He asked if I had a minute. While I was taking out the trash (which really was overflowing), the other manager on duty came walking around the building. I yelled that I did ask permission, but she still seemed confused. Either way, we went inside, finished the shift, whatever. So after close, after check out she asked me about "the incident."
MOD: What exactly did you say to General Manager when you asked to go outside?
Me: I said that the trash was overflowing, so I would take it out.
MOD: Did you say anything about smoking?
Me: No, I figured any manager I asked to take out the trash, they would know that I would sneak a smoke while I was out there.
MOD: Okay, well General Manager didn't know that, and he wanted me to right you up.
Me: Well, I want you to know that I didn't mean to be malicious or anything, I just figured...
MOD: Well, I'm not going to write you up, but I wanted to let you know.
Me: Thanks very much...

Yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm thankful she didn't write me up, but this no smoking thing is killing most of us. The thing that pisses me off the most, which makes me want to rebel even more, is that they allow the managers to "take a drive" during the middle of their shift to smoke. They are allowing the people who are in charge of all the people to leave the property, while on duty, to smoke a fucking cigarette, but they won't let their employees run outside to relieve some stress. Unreal. I just hate the fact that management is not leading by example. If they can't get through a shift without a smoke, why do they expect us to. I'm all for stipulations, and I sure do know how people can abuse certain privileges, but come on. This is ridiculous.

Close tomorrow (even though I asked for no closing shifts during the week because of work, but who am I? Oh, that's right, I'm just one of their senior staff members, and that means squat)...

Coming Soon...

2008-05-08T00:24:00.002-04:00

Cinco de Mayo update.

My thoughts on training techniques.

Employee Drama.

Ah, who am I kidding...the "norm" coming soon! :)

Busy Week

2008-05-02T09:37:00.003-04:00

I certainly have been busy this week. I started my other job, and I told the restaurant I would work an extra shift (4, rather than 3). Needless to say, I haven't been extremely motivated to wait on hungry patrons. Last night, I was the QUEEN of giving away tables. I didn't want to deal with anyone. Sooo, at 8:15, when it was dying hard, the hostesses started to set up a 10-top in my section. She said that they weren't all there yet, so she would stall for as long as possible. I was so scared that I was going to get that table. I didn't understand why they wouldn't just give it to a closer, but whatever. I ended up approaching the closing manager like this, ", may I express a concern?" I proceeded to tell him that I was worried that if I took the 10-top I would be there all night, and I have my new job in the morning. All he said was, "I'll take care of it." The next thing I know, he put cuts up! Way too early! Two out of the three closing servers were relatively new, and there were still people walking in the door. I feel partly responsible, but then again, I have no control over what the manager decides to do, I was simply asking if he could give the table to a closer, just so I wouldn't have to be there all night with them. I would have taking another small-top if need be. Whatever. I did my side work and did what I could to help. They seemed okay when I left, but they were "jammin' " (as my mother would say).

I have a funny story. A couple nights ago, there was a table of six in the section next to mine--four adults and two children). The one small child was a boy around 5 or 6, the other, a toddling little girl. The boy had on those "wheelie" shoes (sneaker with a wheel on the bottom of each), so he was "wheeling" around the table the whole time--and the whole time, I was dodging this little kid. So, at one point, I was going up to the table sitting parallel to the Wheelies, and I had a stack of plates in my hand. I wasn't really paying attention to this small child at the moment because I was focusing on my table. Well, next thing ya know, this kid "wheels" out from the table and slams his head on the stack of plates in my hands. I know it hurt a little. If not from the blow, from his embarrassment. I apologized quickly, but I was pretty angry at this little imp and his no-discipline parents. I threw the dishes in the wait station, kinda pissed off, and stormed to the kitchen. I needed to scream, and it was coming out no matter what! I freaked out for a minute, re-gained my composure and went back out into the dining room. I immediately went back up to the child to make sure he was okay, then I turned to the table I was trying to take care of before. When I went over, I apologized and said, "Before that little catastrophe, I was going to ask if ya'll needed boxes." The girls laughed, and the one said, "We wished you'd have hit him harder!" Awesome!

Patio tomorrow night!

Table 43

2008-04-28T22:59:00.004-04:00

While I was taking the order for the 10-top of vegetarians who decided to make their own menu, I was sat with 2 adults and 3 small children at one of my other tables. This family frequents our establishment at least once a week. I actually waited on them last week, and they ran the shit out of me while I was running 7 other tables during mid-shift. So, after I finally got things squared away with the Veggies, I went over to greet the table. My attitude definitely changed upon seeing them. I knew they were going to ask for a million salsas (both with their chips and with their meals), and their children make a horrendous mess! Messier than normal children, that's for sure. It seems to me that these children have a personal vendetta against all waitstaff and have vowed to throw every piece of food, drink, or crayon onto the floor. I was polite--I always am--but I was not overjoyed to be serving them. Tonight was weird because, even though they run the shit out of me, I usually get 20% out of these people. Last week, they left me $6 on $29. This week was different. First, I knew they were going to run me, so I grabbed 3 salsas off the bat. Then, I knew he was going to down his soda, so I brought refills way ahead of time. I also brought their extra salsas for their entrees out before their food arrived--I consider this efficiency. (I was taking care of a 10-top of high-maintenance vegetarians too, don't forget.) They got the same thing they ordered last week, so their bill was exactly the same, and they left me $3 tonight. It did occur to me that I had my manager drop off their 3rd basket of chips, and I asked a co-worker to grab the kiddies their 3rd round of chocolate milks (before dinner). Maybe that's why they didn't tip me though. Who knows? All I know is that I hope there is never a "next time."

In other news: I started my new job today! Again, it's only part-time, so I'll still be trudging away at the restaurant to make ends meet, but I'm happy that I'm moving on. One foot out of the restaurant and in somewhere else! I think this is going to work out nicely. :)

I also want to apologize for the lack of posting lately. Things have been crazy-busy in Bitchy World! ;)

Off tomorrow...Closing Wednesday.

The People

2008-04-21T19:16:00.003-04:00

Humans are interesting creatures, especially when they're hungry. I'm convinced that hunger brings on bouts of delusion, severe mood swings, and temporary insanity. Over the weekend, I had a number of memorable guests.

1. Saturday night: I was working the patio :) and, of course, people were trying to sit at available tables while they were waiting for a table inside. Ugh. I can't really do anything about it, but I do go up, tell them that it's full service outside, yadda, yadda, and when they turn me down, I politely tell them that I will have to ask them to move if someone does want the table. Anyway, at one point, I see two young guys sitting at the round 5-top on the corner of the patio. I go up, give them my schpeal, then return inside. A couple minutes later, I see that a couple more people joined them, a dad and a grandmother. Then, I see this woman coming from the bar with 4 beers in her hands, and she heads to the round table. It hits me that she has put the beers in front of the young boys, who are no more than 19...the one looked 16, honestly. I immediately tell the bartender, who has much more experience handling these situations, and he did...beautifully.
Bartender: Hey guys, I'm gonna need to see your ids.
Dad: They don't have them with them.
Mom: They're 21.
Bartender: Sorry guys, without an id, it puts our liquor license in jeopardy, I'm going to have to take these.
They didn't protest, because they were obviously caught, but what nerve! Who has the audacity to buy drinks for their minor children?? If you want to be the "cool parent" and let your kids drink under age, that's your choice--Do it under your own roof, on your own property, not someone else's, especially a well-known restaurant. How stupid can you be?

2. Sunday morning, I picked up a shift. People were idiotic, but I'm glad I picked up, it was worth it monetarily. I wasn't really feeling that great when I woke up on Sunday, but no biggie, I needed the money. Because I picked up a shift, I was put in the last section, but because it was Sunday, I didn't have to go in until noon, so I was sat immediately. 3-top, followed a couple minutes later by a 7-top, and another 3-top directly behind. Yuck. I see this happen while I'm getting the drink order for the 7. The 3 has a small child in a high-chair, so they are taking some time getting settled. Cool with me, I don't need to be rushed. So, I walk passed the 3, and tell them that I will be right with them. They are all standing around the table--they haven't even sat down, and the woman says, "I can order." I'm sure I gave her a dumbfounded look, but I told her politely that I would be right over for her. This woman proceeded to run me for the duration of their stay. I think her hunger brought on all three of the side effects I mentioned above. Finally, toward the end of their meal, I asked them if I could wrap anything for them. She tells me to bring her a box. Fine. So, I try to clear some of the plates, and when I start to take hers that has a pile of onions on it, she tells me she wants a box for that too. A box for your fucking onions? That's gross. Even her hubby was like, "You wanna take those?" Weird.

3. Today: A young couple, probably 18 or 19, nice, friendly, whatever. When I go to run the kid's credit card, it declines for me, so I asked my manager to ring it in manually, just in case his strip isn't working, whatever. It was a busy mid-shift, so I let him handle it. The kid's card was declined--my manager got another--declined--and another--declined. I hope he had been with his girlfriend long, otherwise that may have been the end...Anyway, my manager agrees to take the kid's id while he went to get cash to pay the bill. The bill was $29.10. The kid comes back an hour later with $30. Great. I guess in the frenzy of realizing he maxed out all of his credit cards, he forgot to tip his waitress. I did walk out on the patio as he was getting in his car, but I didn't say anything--it's really not worth it.

Well, there's the top 3 for the weekend.

Off tomorrow!! Dinner Wednesday...

The Cycle

2008-04-17T23:37:00.003-04:00

Scenario:
Vomitus server (suspected food poisoning), calls establishment two-or-so-hours before her shift to make management aware that she is ill and pukey. The manager she speaks with tells her that if she plans to call out, she should know that they will require a Dr's note. Of course, she, like 85% of the staff, does not have health insurance; therefore, it's extremely expensive to run to the doc's every time you catch a bug (or food poisoning, in her case, which just needs to run its course).
Regardless, she shows up for her shift, pale, disgusting, projectile (not really, but close), yuck. Nary a manager spoke to her, asked her of her state, her feelings. Nothing. She was in a "front" section, which stays busiest, but she was willing to tough it out. Luckily, the night started out slow. She only had one table when her sickness caught her again, and she was off and running. She felt ashamed to go to the managers and tell them she was sick. This is the type of environment we're working with. All of us tip-toe on eggshells, and we don't feel like we can tell our superiors that we're feeling ill. I felt so bad for her...she was emotional, ill, and afraid that she was going to have to suffer all night, when all she wanted was bed.
Finally, I went to the MOD, who didn't really shrug at it, which annoyed me. Why aren't they sending her home?! I then said something to the other manager, who had a more urgent reaction. Finally something is going to be done about this. Even if they don't care about her, having a vomitus server is no good for the restaurant, either. Let her go home! Then, it comes out, the first manager I spoke with tells me that Pukey is supposed to close, so they would be short, and they "didn't feel like scrambling around to find another closer." Are you kidding me!? This is ridiculous. So, of course I say "I'll close." So what, I opened today, I can close, and open tomorrow--no big wup. Really, the only reason I told them I would close was because they wouldn't let her go home otherwise. After Sicky went home, I went around to the "singles" and asked if they could close for her. Two "rookies" stepped up and said they would close for the cause. Taking one for the team, right? It happens. I was so happy that they were so ready to help. It makes me feel good about the newer staff. :)

I brought my feelings up to the managers, like I always do, and they told me that it was stupid to talk about it considering everything was fixed. They're right, they do have a point; however, I'm talking about common courtesy. If someone is visibly ill, shouldn't the proof be in the...well, you know...?? Unbelievable.

Everything worked out fine, and it was relatively slow...It was so gorgeous outside today, I wouldn't want to sit in a restaurant either.

Open tomorrow.

Check It Out

2008-04-16T18:07:00.002-04:00

Check out this week's Round Table at Well Done Fillet! Thanks Manuel!

The House of "No"

2008-04-12T13:40:00.003-04:00

I feel like I should get a good vent out before going in to close...

Last night sucked on many levels. The first being that NO ONE showed up for their 4:00 shift, so me and one other server were on and taking tables. We each had 5 tables, and slowly other servers started showing up for their shifts. That just got the night off to a rocky start. And Regional GM and Corporate Server Lady (the one that I love) were in the building, just adding to the stress of the shift. At one point, I was double-sat, and the hostesses were freaking out about where to put people, so I told them to seat me again...big mistake! I gave that table pretty bad service, and I'm sorry, but unfortunately, it does happen.
So, during this clusterfuck of weeds, I dropped off a beer to a table, but I was also dropping things off for other tables, so when I set it down, I just turned to hand something to the other table. I don't know, really. All I do know is that the RGM pulled me to the host stand three or so minutes later to tell me that I dropped the beer on this table, and he alluded to the fact that the table was pissed. I went over, apologized, and told them...Evidently, I set the beer on something so it wasn't level...it happens. I tell them that I had no idea it fell over, or I would have helped them, yadda, yadda. Meanwhile, RGM takes off both their appetizers and the beers. I couldn't believe they were so angry. In addition, I just assumed that my RGM had brought the man another beer, so I stopped at the table to ask if they were okay. He seemed to be finished his meal, so I offered to take his plate. The man just looks at the frothy beer sitting on his table and said, "Uh, yeah, can I get a beer." "OMG, I'm so sorry, I thought he was bringing one for you!" At this point, I'm pissed, I think my table is pissed, and my RGM is definitely pissed. So, I go to take the man's plate, and he tells me that he's not finished. I was so confused and still in the weeds, I put the plate down and immediately brought him his beer. After a couple minutes, he pulled me to the side and told me that he wasn't angry, he just needed napkins and a beer. I felt like such an asshole! And I was really pissed at my RGM for making me feel like the table was utterly irate. It just changes everything. I probably could have been able to relax more if I knew they were okay...Operation Communication. Ugh.

The title of this post stems from the list of "No's" that I'm constructing. Hopefully, in the next few weeks this will change. I think the two big-wigs are trying to implement some morale boosting techniques, which makes me a happy girl.

Anyway, welcome to the House of No:

No free food.
No extra tables (unless in a closing situation)
No breaks on Sat/Sun
No drinks to-go
No to-go (unless you pay full price and are not working)
No smoking
No parking near any entrances
No coming in the back door
No boys can wear earrings
No colored hair-bands
No eating on the fly
No "money shifts" only (even if you're a 'senior server')

The list will continue, for sure. I'm gonna stop venting so I'm actually in a good mood for my shift tonight!

Closing.

Update

2008-04-10T01:54:00.002-04:00

I mentioned in an earlier post about having an interview...well, I got the position! It's a part-time position, so I will still have to work a few shifts at the restaurant--I just won't have to depend on tips as my primary source of income. It feels good.
Because of my mood, tonight was a breeze...not to mention, it really wasn't that busy. I still made out pretty well after tip-out (and I had $200 in liquor sales, so I tipped the bar $10...everyone was drinkin' tonight).
The bittersweet part about not waiting so much, is that I won't have much blog material...Who am I kidding??? I will always find material!
I'm considering just working Thurs., Fri., and Sat., nights, but those are "money-making shifts," and now, all of a sudden, my manager is worried about "being fair." Please. Haven't I earned some money-making shifts??

Here we go again. :)

Dinner tomorrow.

Round Table XVII

2008-04-07T20:56:00.007-04:00

Round Table

Service Industry

Blog Carnival

XVII

Welcome back! I'm happy to host this week's edition of the Round Table! Get comfy!

It's been a long week for everyone, it seems. But, we all made it out alive...barely.

Ribeye dealt with stupidity on a new and exciting level. It's stressful enough being a server, but it's even harder when your guests are idiots. Even though Ribeye had more than his fair share of shitty tables, he did prove, once again, that there are always exceptions!

Manuel, over at Well Done Fillet had a run-in with the chef and warns the non-serving public of the barrage of bull-shit we waiters have to put up with from the kitchen staff. Sorry you had to go through all that, but thanks for spreading the word. :)

On the flip-side, Waiter experiences an act of kindness from the chef that is rare and beautiful. Chefs who aren't wrapped in their egos tighter than their lettuce wraps are one of a kind...and a change of pace (in fact, where I'm from, I haven't met one chef who was nice to the serving staff). Also, don't forget to check out The Waiter's book cover! Congratulations!

Ali touches on many server pet peeves. From guests who think they are the only patron in the establishment, to ignorant couples who whistle when they need something. Ali handled it with much more patience than I could have. I also thoroughly enjoyed the story at the end of the post about the manipulative bar guest. Kudos to your regular for telling her to get lost.

Upset Waitress offers up some TMI and laughs in her busy post. We all know that when it comes down to it, we can all trust that UW will tell it how it is. :)

Tony describes certain co-workers to a tee...in fact, I would nominate myself as belonging to Group 2 (everyone else I work with would too). Thanks for opening my eyes as to how my fellow co-workers might view me. It makes me want to be a less-bitchy waitress...for now...

Shrimp Queen's eclectic blend of co-workers makes for an interesting post. It has my mind boggled, that's for sure. I particularly love Queenie's vision of resolving the issue--perfect Bitchy Form! ;)

Bitter Waitress has a lovely review for anyone hankering Mexican! Check out Taco Boy!

Restaurant Gal had a lucky night of food and fun! Congrats on your winning evening! You can really pick 'em! :)

In Ryan's follow-up from a previous post, he touches on a sensitive, yet relevant, subject. His story is inspiring, and his viewpoint is strong and clear. I love the image of "basing your faith in actions." Thank you, Ryan.

All servers are tough critics when they go out for a recreational meal. Lobster Boy proves that it's nearly impossible to turn off the server when trying to have a relaxing night off. The frustrations of waiting tables will follow us for eternity! :P

Thanks to all for tuning in to the Blog Carnival this week. Once again, it has been my pleasure to serve you!

~BW

Pre-Shift, Post-Vent

2008-04-05T12:26:00.003-04:00

Last night was a clusterfuck of ridiculousness (in my opinion). At one point, the KM mentioned how the restaurant was, once again, flat sat. When I go to my manager to talk to him about this, he looks at me, wide-eyed, then he tells me that I'm complaining as much as the kitchen staff, and he wonders if I have any suggestions. When I told him about "pacing the wait," he didn't quite understand. He told me that I should teach him how to pace the wait because he doesn't know how. At this point, I'm getting annoyed because he's a smart guy, so I didn't think pacing the wait was that difficult...evidently, it is. He thinks that pacing the wait would take us from a 40 min wait to an hour wait. Honestly, I don't think it will add 20 minutes onto the wait time, but it will extend it a little. Is that such a price to pay for food that actually comes out well-made and on time?? With the flat-seating comes mistakes, weeds, and angry customers. He says that once I've figured it out, to let him know. Well, patronizing me is also not going to make me happy.

I was in a great section last night, until, you guessed it, they pushed my motherfucking tables together again. I was in my fav section last night, too, they really know how to ruin everything. Then after that first big-top left, they left it together because my GM told me it was for a 10-top...I was great with that until they sat a 7-top there! I confronted him, and of course he tells me that the 7-top was first, but I think he's full of shit.

The other thing that's really been bothering me, is that we're making all these changes...promoting servers to assistant managers, facilitators, bartenders, etc. Now, I know (and so do you) that I'm a complete bitch, but I know the menu, and I know the restaurant very well. I just bitch so much, that I guess they just want me to leave at this point. My point is, that no one even came to me and said, you know, if you weren't such a bitch, we'd ask if you want to be a bartender, or even a trainer for that matter. Nope, nothing. I know that I'm a decent server...except last night, I felt like a rookie because I got in the weeds pretty good (but that's a direct result of flat-seating the restaurant). I probably wouldn't take bartender if were offered to me because I don't want to be there, but just to know that they would like to promote me would make me feel like they respected me an ounce. Right now, I don't feel like they respect anyone.

I have an interview on Wednesday for a Part-time position. So, I won't be able to leave the wonderful establishment entirely, but at least it won't be my primary source of income. I should go...

Close tonight.

Announcement

2008-04-02T03:16:00.001-04:00

Don't forget to check out this week's Round Table over at Bitter Waitress!

Next week, I'll be your happy hostess!

Double Tomorrow.

In Need

2008-03-28T00:58:00.003-04:00

Tonight was slow.
Slower than the average Thursday.
Haven't figured out why, but whatever.

I was scheduled to close, and by the way the evening was going, it looked like it was going to be an early night...until four tables walked in 10 minutes before the dining room closed.
Two 1-tops, a 2-top, and an 8-top. I had the undeniable pleasure of waiting on one of the 1-tops, a man in his mid-to-late thirties. When I first greeted him, he asked to move to an area of the restaurant that had better lighting. After he moved, asked obnoxious questions about the menu, and changed his order twice, he asked to move to the bar. Well, he wanted to sit at a cocktail table to watch the game, and the bartender didn't want anymore guests than I did, so I just kept the table. His food was up wicked fast since the kitchen was trying desperately to close, and when I delivered his entree, he asked if I ordered the other entree we had discussed. "No, I didn't, I thought you changed your mind," I said, kind of surprised that the man wanted another entree. He then asked if I would mind ordering it for him anyway. He looked at the entree in front of him and told me that the other entree couldn't be any bigger than the one he had in front of him. I responded by telling him that all of entrees were of generous proportions, and I told him that if he's going to order it, I should order it expediently considering the time ticking away. He told me to go ahead and order it. Well, I've never seen an entree fly out of that kitchen faster, but he had it within minutes. After I delivered his second entree, he started asking about one of our appetizer "dips." By this point, I didn't want to order ANYTHING. The KM was already pissed that four tables walked in when they did, and now this guy was being a douche and ordering a ridiculous amount of food. The guy then asked me what his tab was up to. I printed his check for him, and showed him. He decided against the app--thank God. Then, he asked what we offered for dessert!

Grand total: 1 Beverage and 2 entrees = $19.31. I saw a $20 on the check, and he was standing by the cocktail table. I started clearing, and left the money where it sat. He asked me if it was okay if he ran to his car to get my tip. I shrugged my shoulders, a little uncomfortable about this conversation, and told him it was fine. He ran out to his car and returned in less than two minutes (meanwhile, I went and got the change for the bill, I rounded to $0.75). He told me that he couldn't find any more change in his car, and he handed me $0.31. Then he mentioned how he wasn't going to be able to pay the toll...so I told him if he needed the change, it was really okay. What else was I supposed to say?? He took the $0.75 and left his $0.31...weird. And he will still be a quarter short for the toll.

And to think, if only he hadn't been a COMPLETE glutton, he would have had the money to tip his waitress.

Open-double tomorrow.

A First...

2008-03-26T23:55:00.002-04:00

Tonight, I had a table ask the hostess for another server. This has NEVER happened to me before. I don't doubt I was a little annoyed with the table, but I didn't say or do anything mean...per se...

First, I was annoyed in general because my manager decided to triple seat me (it was really a double-seat, but I had just put the drink order in for a table that was sat before the others). This pissed me off because they sat my 10-top table with a 5-top. And I notice that another server has one table and an open 6-top. Why wouldn't they quickly buss that and seat the table there?? So, I, of course, make it known to my manager that it's bull-shit, but I proceed to greet the tables. I was definitely feeling weeded, but I made my rounds as efficiently as I could. I set the chips down at the 5-top and asked for beverages. The "lead" gentlemen asks for bottled water. Then he asks for a large bottled water. I tell him that we only offer one size. He asks if it's the "large"...I tell him that I can go get one to show him before he ordered--he then told me that he knew it wasn't the large because it was 500mL. Oookaaay. 2 bottled water, 2 ginger ales, and 1 lager. As I am preparing the drinks, I notice that both the ginger ale's are empty, and a manager has to change it. So, I deliver the bar drinks (of course I checked the bottle...sure enough, he was right, but why did he have to ask me then?), and tell them I'll have the ginger ale's in a minute. When I bring the sodas, the "lead" man yells that they wanted lite ice. Well nobody TOLD me this! I don't understand. So, at this point, I'm kinda weeded, but my other tables are nice enough(although pretty high-maintenance, which added to all the weeds), so I'm trudging through, but his demand definitely annoys me. I'm sure my annoyance showed. I can't help it--I don't usually keep too much hidden, but I'm a good server, and I'm polite-ish. I don't know. I just never thought that this man would get up and ask for another server! I guess it worked out for both of us. I can't lie, I didn't really want the table, but I wouldn't have ignored them. I would have given them everything they needed. I don't know. I have to shake that stuff off, but it was just weird. Then, I dropped dishes in my section while they were there--I'm sure they were praising the karma gods for that one.
The other three tables in my section didn't have a problem: $8 on $32; $8 on $30; and $7 on $26.

Close dinner tomorrow.

Operation Communication

2008-03-22T01:09:00.002-04:00

I was told that my previous post offered no positive alternatives...so, I decided to look at the things I bitched about to find some kind of solution...I'm trying to channel my bitchiness. One of the things I thought of was Operation Communication...I know it's silly, but it's cute, so whatever...I think that the restaurant as a whole can benefit from this movement. We never yell "heard" or "ice" or "behind you" or...well, you get the drift. It's just weird to me how individual we've become. (I did talk about this before, so I won't bore you more details...) I just think we could work better as a team with a little more communication. I spoke with one of my managers about this tonight, and he was receptive-ish. Our problem is implementing...I just think it has to be pushed into habit, which could take some time...

$200 day! I'm a happy girl!

Happy Easter!

Off for the weekend!!!

A Lesson in Kicking Ourselves in the Ass

2008-03-18T13:22:00.003-04:00

In my restaurant, speed is the top priority. This is aggravating because the speed precedent is what will ultimately bring this restaurant to a screeching halt. Management is so speed oriented, they don't take the time to notice how it affects the rest of the restaurant. It's all about turnin' and burnin'. We don't even offer dessert, so people will turn and burn the heck out and the next table can take its place. It's an interesting concept; however, execution needs some serious work.
The beginning of the shift usually starts off fine; rotation is implemented, and everyone has the same amount of tables. I guess this works through the first full rotation. Once the restaurant is full and we go on a wait, the rotation goes to shit, and it's every man for himself. It's bananas. In our restaurant, there is no such thing as "pacing the wait." In every other restaurant I've worked in, the hostesses have been taught to "pace the wait." This will ensure that servers don't get double and triple-sat, and more importantly, the kitchen will not crash. It's unbelievable that every Friday and Saturday night the kitchen will crash at some point. What's even more unbelievable is that no one I work with (except select few) has any idea what "crashing the kitchen" even means. Ridiculous. Two weeks ago one of our KMs (the best one, I might add), looked right at me in the middle of the rush and said, "What the fuck are they doing out there?" His co-workers, his peers, set him up for a serious ass-kicking that night. They flat-sat the restaurant. Flat-seating the restaurant means that the hostesses seat tables faster than the kitchen can get out tickets.
This is wrong on so many levels.

Flat-seating the restaurant from a kitchen perspective:

If everyone is fighting to manage the tickets because there is a steady stream flowing out of the printer, you know that quality assurances has flown out the window.
At this point, it's only about speed. Entrees are slopped together, sometimes half-falling off the plate.
Tickets aren't read properly. In my restaurant there is already a language barrier between the wait-staff and the kitchen-staff. Tickets are read to the cooks by the KM on duty. Stupido. There are a few kitchen-staff members who can read English very well and can translate, that helps, but it's still a huge pain in the ass.
Tables get the wrong food. I love when my tray comes out after waiting nearly 25 min, and it's wrong. Maybe if we were more focused on quality assurance and less focused on speed, we wouldn't have so many fucking promos.

Flat-seating from a server perspective:

Weeded. We have a lot of green servers, and that should be taken into account when flat-seating the entire restaurant. If everyone is getting triple-sat, it's no wonder we can't help each other out--some of us can't handle it.
If we didn't have so many brand-new servers in the weeds, we would have less promos and less customer complaints.
Because speed is priority, no other side-work, store cleanliness, or teamwork takes place because in this restaurant, it's survival of the fittest. Every man for himself. It's really a shame.
Having tables wait, then realizing that the kitchen forgot to put their side items on the tray, so I have to go back. If I ask for extra dressing or sauce, I rarely get it, so I've stopped ringing it in.
We are supposed to use an "appetizer" button when ordering entrees, so the kitchen has the ticket. The kitchen is then supposed to wait the allotted time-standard. With speed as the TOP priority, time-standards also fly to shit. I do not use the "appetizer" button. If I do, I know that my table will get everything pretty much at the same time. It's annoying. I've learned about how long it takes for appetizers and menu items, and I time it. If the app only takes a few min (like soup, salad, and dip), I'll order the entrees right away because chances are the table will be finished before their meal is delivered. If it's another, larger appetizer, I will wait until the table has its app before ordering its entree. This gives the guests a little bit of time to digest and not feel rushed out of their experience. My check-times are still on average 30-40 minutes (at lunch) and 40-45 at dinner--and so are everyone elses. My guests do not stay longer, they are just happier when they leave.

For both perspectives, I have to add that this type of restaurant is so exhausting to work in. I've worked in extremely busy restaurants before, but I've never worked harder than I do now--just to keep up with the side-work that no one is doing.

This is also the first restaurant I've worked in where servers are treated like absolute crap. Management could give three shits about the servers because they know there will always be more servers--we're disposable. What they don't realize is that if they trained their servers properly and stayed consistent with rules, etc., more people would stay longer. Shit, I've already been there a year, and I only wanted to stay for six months. They don't realize really how many servers would stay for a couple years. If they had an older staff, who worked well as a team, they would see how valuable good servers really are.

Servers in my restaurant don't talk to each other. I mean, we talk to each other, but we don't communicate throughout the shift. No one says "behind you" (we have crashes all the time), no one says ANYTHING that will contribute to the successful running of the shift, except when the managers start nagging at us unnecessarily throughout the shift.

The only thing I can say we're good at, is cleaning up those spills (except for the new buss-boy, he leaves his spills all the time, and he's a clumsy mother-fucker).

It's a vicious circle of management trying to execute the plans of a misguided leader who has never waited tables a day in his life. I feel it should be a prerequisite for all owners and management to have served (or worked the line, if we're talking kitchen) before being in charge of a restaurant.

I think I'm gonna write a letter. This is bullshit.

Double tomorrow.

Smooth Ridin'

2008-03-14T23:59:00.000-04:00

Tonight was...well...pretty great. Patrons were happy (and generous), the staff was cool and collected, even though the Regional Manager was poking around. We all get along with him really well...we don't really feel like he's scrutinizing us or judging us (even though, secretly, he is). We know that he is there to see how things are going, and he will definitely give us criticism, but it's not direct, I guess (unlike corporate refill bitch). He's just pleasant, and he listens to us. It's pretty cool. Originally, I attested the happy evening to the fact that The Other Manager wasn't working (see the previous post), but now that I think about it, I think it was because of the the RM. He makes us feel good about the job we're doing. It's amazing how affective a positive attitude can be.

Close tomorrow.

P.S. I had a job interview for a part-time position at the local community college today...I'm hoping I get to wave good-bye to full-time serving soon! :)

P.P.S. Don't worry, I'll still have plenty to write about! :) :)

Negative Reinforcement

2008-03-12T22:48:00.003-04:00

It is so unbelievably difficult to stay positive in a restaurant where negativity is its foundation. I say that because not one positive thing escapes from any manager's lips on any given day. Nothing. They have nothing better to do than to tell us what we're doing wrong and never praise for the job well done.
Tonight's young manager is one who insisted on being up my ass all night long. I don't know what I did to deserve such treatment, but I want my name removed from the list. I considered bringing this to the manager's attention, but decided it would be a waste of my time. I don't get it, I'm standing there with a broom, sweeping the appetizer station, and talking with a co-worker, who was using the computer, and young, powerful manager comes over and tells us to find something to do. Wasn't I just doing something? I think this manager just likes to hear its own voice. Me and three other servers kept up on silverware all night (we're required to roll all the silverware each shift), and this is a rare feat because of the laziness that prevails in our establishment. Anyway, I was kinda pissed because the manager said nothing in regard to our achievement. Whatever. Then, when cuts finally went up, the manager put 30 silverware for each server. This manager pulled that number out of the sky. There is no way that each server could possibly do 30 each because they were nearly finished. This all-mighty manager does these things because of the power that comes with the title. It's as if this manager feels it's sole priority is to prove to the entire staff just how powerful the job is...it's ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that this manager is the moodiest person...it's like walking on eggshells. It sucks.
I had a horrible section, and out of the four tables I did have, only one rotated consistently throughout the night. I had a four-top of women (my first table of the night shift) who tell me that "they weren't in a hurry." Great. Then, my big-top was sat with two families (four adults and four kids), and they sat forever because small children take forever, especially when their parents probably make them chew 37 times before swallowing. Don't know, but I do know that they sat there for nearly 2 1/2 hours. Unbelievable. Then I had an older couple who were nearly finished with their meal, when another person joined their party--so she had to eat, too, of course. Then, my other table rotated, I think three times. Either way, I had a shit-filled day, a shit-filled night, and I blame it mostly on the manager who was stuck up my ass.

Open tomorrow.

*Don't forget to check out the 13th edition of the Round Table!! Thanks Ribeye!

Whatta Wednesday...It Happens...

2008-03-05T23:45:00.000-05:00

Yeah right. Lunch was dead. I was off by 2, so I had a decent break. Dinner was busy for a minute--we actually went on a wait.

You know, I consider myself to be a good waitress (I'm pretty sure I started another post this way, but whatever), but sometimes, every now and again, I am not a good waitress. For the last couple weeks, I have been fucking up more than usual...stupid stuff, really. This one night, I was talking with a table about their choosing one of two appetizers. They chose the one, I ordered the other. It happens. We have a lot of "combination platters," and this one lady ordered one, but they look the same on the computer, and if I have an impatient server behind me, I get rushed...la, la, la...I ordered the wrong combo. That also "happens." It just keeps happening. Tonight, I had a three top--mom, dad, small child (probably 6 or 7). They ordered an appetizer that I absolutely forgot about, and none of the other servers felt they should run it, so the table got their food and no appetizer. Boo. Then, the lady wanted me to wrap her taco salad, which has a huge, stupid, gigantic shell around it, that she hadn't eaten. I usually forewarn my table that I will scoop out the inside, then give them any of the salvageable shell, but for whatever reason, I was too busy, or she was too preoccupied with her beer, that I just didn't...it happens. When I got back to the To-Go station, I saw that we had no bags, so I wasn't able to properly seal it for her. When she got it, she opened right in front of me and said, "What happened." I told her that we didn't have boxes that would adequately fit the large taco salad, so I scooped and salvaged. She seemed somewhat satisfied with this, but I still wasn't sure, so I even had my manager do a table visit...my luck they were a secret shopper. (I hope I didn't just jinx myself!!!!)

Dinner tomorrow.

Another Rent's Paid

2008-03-02T12:12:00.000-05:00

This weekend was borderline ridiculous. When we go on a wait in our restaurant, I think it's typically, at most, 30 min for small-tops and 45 min for big-tops. This weekend, I think we topped out at an hour and a half for bigs and an hour for smalls. Crazy.

Friday, I worked a double, and it was a roller coaster ride through complete and utter frustration and the general hatred for all patrons, to a delirium that sent me above the negativity, to a place where all my cares slipped away, and I allowed myself to be candid, have a little fun, and make some money.
The lunch shift tested my patience, tried my professionalism, and just pissed me off. *Side note: I got pulled over speeding to make it to work on time. Not too bad of a ticket, but it still set the tone for the day.*
My first table was obnoxious from the start. We didn't have fresh chips available, so I brought the cup of salsa and an explanation. But, before I could give my schpeale, Suzy Original says, "Oh, *giggle* what should we do with that? *giggle* Drink it?" She and her cronies giggle because I guess Suzy is the witty one of the group, "Well," I snidely giggle back, "I could bring you a spoon..." *giggle* "I'll bring fresh chips out in a minute." They liked my little quip. In my mind, I took that cup of salsa and poured it over her head.
At this other table (also gabbing women) I went to take their order and two kept talking while the third ordered. The woman ordering asked me several questions about the menu, while her friends continued to talk getting louder and louder. Completely annoying. Finally, she ordered, and I moved to the gabster, who had the EXACT SAME QUESTION. The third woman did it too. Unfuckingbelievable. I wanted to smack them all with menus.

Word to the wise. Every server in every restaurant I have ever worked in HATES MAKING SHIRLEY TEMPLES. They are a pain in the ass. It's one of the last drinks I make because I have to slide by the bar to get the grenadine; then, I'm at the bar with a full tray, trying to pour the sugar substance into your child's drink. Red dye makes small children crazy. Why would you want your children to have sugar poured directly into their sugar-filled soda. That's just silly. It's no wonder kids start climbing the walls before the end of the meal. Besides, not every server knows how to make one properly. I know how to make them properly, and I tell you right now that if you order a Shirley Temple, I will use a very liberal amount of grenadine. If you are an ADULT and you order a Shirley Temple (or a cherry coke) your stomach will probably hurt and you will most likely order a water later.

Has anyone ever had a guest order half regular coke/half diet?? This guy asked for that this weekend...weird. It, too, was a pain in the ass, and he really had a diet, but never said a word.

The rest of lunch was slow and annoying, so I went on break, took a breath filled with nicotine, and headed back in for the night shift. Patrons were in fine moods (that always helps). Feeling tired and numb, I slipped into my happy place (like a stage for my opening night act), focused on my tables. They loved me, and I made the most money I've made in a long time.

Saturday night was so busy, it's all a blur. It went by quickly, and it was lucrative. All I know is, another rent's paid.

Open tomorrow.

We're Engaged!

2008-02-28T23:28:00.004-05:00

First order of business: the latest Blog Carnival is up over at Raging Server! Thanks Ribeye!

I really wanted to post yesterday, but I ended up closing, so it didn't happen.

My Hot Topic for yesterday was rotation. I really do not understand rotation in our restaurant. Scenario: The restaurant's full and we start accumulating a wait. I'm not really sure what happens, but eventually we end up holding four-top tables to push them together for the large parties that are waiting...even though we have a decent small-top wait as well. We seat the big-tops, crash the kitchen, and we're still on a small-top wait. The rotation needs to be moderated. We are a restaurant made for speed, and I have learned that "flat-seating" the kitchen is accepted and expected. It's weird. Personally, if the hostesses had half an atom-sized brain, they could probably figure out that they are controlling the flow of the entire restaurant. But they don't know a thing. They bend everyone over for two hours every night, we recover, and do it all over again the next day....gluttons for punishment I guess.

Today was a horse of a different color...I was in the first section, which usually = $$$ but the moron hostesses thought that seating me with one-tops for my first two tables was a good way to start a semi-busy Thursday lunch. I didn't really let it bother me 'cause people were flocking in, and I thought turnin' and burnin' would be easy. If only the breeze lasted longer...it definitely wasn't that busy, and even mid-shift was lame.

It was a fine day, one through which classic stories are born: Our establishment is full of windows--floor to ceiling--today, one of our hostesses saw a man take the garbage from his car and throw it into the parking lot. I was standing by the front door when he entered, and she said: "Excuse me sir, I need to talk to you. Our establishment is filled with windows, and we saw you take the trash from your car and throw it in our parking lot. Now it has blown everywhere, and will be someone's responsibility to clean. Next time, could you use the trash cans provided?" The guy was dumbfounded...and foreign...but he did apologize. I'm sure he was embarrassed too--the girl he was with met him at our establishment...she had no idea he was such a litterbug! I gotta say, I am ultra-proud of our hostess!

There is one peeve I have about the day, but, of course, I need to give a preface...On Saturday afternoon, I was scheduled to work at 4, but I went in about 50 minutes early, to get food. We don't have a break room, so we typically take one of the tables in the back two sections, and it becomes a server table. No big whoop. Well, the MOD (manager on duty) was in a "tood" (having an attitude and in a mood) and, even though the back room was EMPTY, he told us he was opening up all the sections in the back, and we would have to eat in dry storage!...something about us taking someone else's table in someone else's section. The back was EMPTY...I just had to say it again...Anywho...that same manager was working today, and, granted, it is a Thursday versus the Saturday I spoke of, but I want to point out that our back room was jam packed today. Interestingly enough, I see a hostess popping a squat at one of the tables in the back room. I couldn't believe it, really. Saturday, empty back room, make everyone go eat in dry storage...Thursday, packed back room, let hostess eat in someone's section, at someone's table--oh, yes, my friends, one more glorious addition to my list of inconsistencies within my current establishment. I didn't really let it get to me...I blew it off my shoulders, through to the ink, down into the pen, onto my little list, into my pocket, and onto my blog.

While I'm griping, I might as well add to the list in my previous post: Advice for Patrons

9. When I come back to the table a few minutes after the food is delivered, I am not doing it to piss you off at the start of your meal, but really to make sure that what's in front of you is what you truly wanted and desired when you ordered from me. It's really for your own good. If I don't check back, and I don't find out within the first two bites that your burger is medium as opposed to rare, how will I ever fix it for you? My point is, my coming to check on you is a direct invitation for me to get you whatever you need... don't be shy...I know people freeze up around their server, but please, for the Love of all that's Good and Holy, please don't NOT tell me what you need, only to turn around 30 seconds later and ask a passing server. That makes us angry.

Finally, a little bit of Karma. Late-night, last night, me and Bitchy Accomplice headed to the local Denny's to people-watch, get into a lot fight, save Denny's from mass destruction, and spread a little cheer. Denny's is a shit hole...at least the one we strolled into at 2:00 last night (this morning). Bitchy Accomplice and I had only been there minutes before a seven-top of ghetto kids strolled in. They were obnoxiously loud and rude...the way they acted in public would have put their mothers' to shame. And the poor server. He was tryin' to get their order right, but they were the question-askin-while-needin-a-refill-drinkin-extra-napkins-more-lemons-for-my-water-there's-a-hair-somewhere-can-I-get-a-free-meal-ghetto-ass-mother-fuckers that kept changing shit...how ridiculous. One fat bastard had three different plates of food in front of him...insane. The table from hell left right before we did, so I took a gander at the tip...$3 on one table $2 on the other...so $5 on what was probably a $50 or $75...right?? Either way, it had to be more than $30--I just knew he got jipped, so I threw another $5 on the table. I didn't wait to see him find it...I'm sure he was smoking something out back by that point...unless he ran screaming from the restaurant, which is always a possibility. I just hope no one took it...especially the guy who was our server...he sucked! What should I expect, really, it was 2 a.m. Either way, I look at it as good restaurant karma--there is a difference.

Double tomorrow....wee!

Cumulative

2008-02-23T12:59:00.004-05:00

In lieu of posting yesterday, I expelled a lot of my energy commenting on a very disturbing blog. His opinions were in response to Raging Server's Tip Etiquette post. Asshole No-Tipper's blog is disturbing because even though he's European, and even though he has been schooled in the way of tipping in the States, he's still going to be one of those who just doesn't tip. I don't think anyone (especially Cheapy McValentine) should get to judge our profession until he has walked one day (a 12-hour day) in our shoes (the shoes that are so old and worn that it's a surprise one night, while walking through the kitchen, that you have a hole...then, you have to drive home after a 12-hour day with a soaking sock and aching feet); he can judge after he's dealt with assholes who don't understand that they are NOT his only table, been blamed for an incorrectly prepared meal, been stiffed after running like a maniac for a table, talked to like he was an idiot, had a big-top of teenage punks, AND dealt with senile people who change their order as he was delivering their meal. After that--he can judge us. Why don't we start a union and demand more pay? This guy doesn't know anything? Ugh. I was sooo worked up about this! I printed it, and took it to work--I had to share this man's ignorance, because evidently some Americans must feel this way too. If you are THAT cheap, and THAT lazy, stay at home and make a frozen pizza--uh, you know they mark that up too! Careful buddy.

I just don't get it. You sit there, and I get you ANYTHING you need, so you don't have to get up and do it yourself. Why wouldn't you want to pay me for that? AND I'm nice to you!!! I don't say the things I really WANT to say...

"Would you like a straw for your salsa, sir?"

"Did you read the fucking menu?"

"Let me guess, water, two full lemons, and extra sugar?"

"Do you bathe in Ranch, ma'am?"

"Jesus! You're going to eat ALL that?"

"If you ignore me, I'll ignore you!"

not to mention the various obscenities I'd like to scream in some people's faces...

Next topic...well, segue into next topic...I am constructing two lists (of course): Advice for Patrons and Advice for Employees/Employers. Here's what I've got so far...

Advice for Restaurant Patrons:

You have come into an establishment to be served, eat good food, and visit with your company. You know that I will be approaching your table momentarily, and will probably require your attention. Please stop talking! Stifle your conversation for thirty seconds so I can do my job. I have been known to leave the table and not come back until the table waves at me. I'm sure you don't want that to happen, but if you are a gabber and this has happened to you, now you know why.
No tappy--no touchy. Do not touch me, tug on my shirt, poke me, smack my arm, and the like. Tugging on shirts is what small children do when they are trying to get their parents' attention--I'm sure you hate it when your three-year-old does it, DON'T DO IT TO ME. I once had a table tug on my shirt while I was talking with another table...I didn't respond, but he persisted. I turned around and told him he had lost his turn. I'll say it again, You touch me, you lose a turn. That's it. I don't have any problem immediately dropping your check and silently kicking you out of my life. It's unacceptable.
Don't steal my fucking condiments. Just don't do it. I have to go in the back, get new salt and pepper shakers, fill those fuckers, which always makes a mess. Whatever. It's just a hassle for all parties involved. So, don't do it.
Do not shake your fucking glass at me. Wave to me, I'll come see what you want. Shaking your glass is rude and it makes you look like an asshole. Normal people let their servers come to the table. Some people think they are helping because that way I don't have to wall all the way to the table just to walk away, but then they don't mind asking me for a side of ranch every time I go to the table. Bottom line: shaking your glass is disrespectful. I hate it, and so does every other server I know.
It never fails, the instant I go to take someone's order, they throw a chip in their mouth--then, they proceed to do the big-eyed, exaggerated, quick-chew, while pointing because I obviously didn't see you throw the chip in your mouth...So, please rise above the hunger, do what you have to do, but know that I'm standing at the table for a reason, chances are, I'm going to talk to you; so, don't shove something in your face before responding. It's rude and stupid.
READ THE FUCKING MENU.
Clean up after your offspring. If you do not clean up after whatever bodily fluids, cheerios, baby food, spaghetti mess your child has left please compensate your server. I'm sure there are times, while you are cleaning up after your child at home, that you think to yourself, "I should get paid for this..." But then you look at your beautiful child and know that it is all worth it. Well, we don't feel like that AT ALL. If we wanted to clean up after your children we would have worked in a day care. We hate tables with children more than we hate tables of "waters with no ice," senile tables, and ghetto tables combined--simply because of the mess that is left all over the world once you are gone. If you choose not to clean up after your little bundle of joy, please compensate me...otherwise, it's just not fair. It's a smack in the face when a family comes in, their bill is $30, and they leave me $5 and a shitload of baby guck, schmutz, smegma, covered in cheerios, and hand prints all over my window. Thanks.
At least ask before rearranging furniture. You're not renting the space, you are a guest, and we have allowed you a table. Just ask. It's fine that you're bringing all your friends to our establishment, but have the decency to ask permission. Thank you.

Advice for Employees

Just say no. If I ask you if you want to switch/take a shift, please, just say you can't. I don't need your entire life story. I just need a yes/no, so I can take the proper actions.
If you are not a team-player, you will be Black Listed, which means that the team will now, no longer help you.
Talking about your sex-life with co-workers who are new/acquaintances, is gross--not to mention insanely annoying.
If you can't take proper care of your tables ask for help. If you cannot ask for help don't get upset when I take your table.

Open tomorrow.

Livin' the Dream

2008-02-19T22:10:00.002-05:00

Tonight's shift was a "freebie"--I picked up for a friend, and considering it's a Tuesday, I didn't expect to make much money...$70 later I'm glad I could help. :)

People were weird tonight, and I wondered, at one point, if I was whispering because no one seemed to hear me all night. But then again, people were just weird too...it is a full moon...
This one table, a 40-something couple, orders two burgers. I usually don't ask what temp because I figure they'll tell me otherwise. The woman orders her burger, then the man. He requests that his burger be cooked medium rare. At that, I did check with the woman, to which she asked for medium. I said, "Alright, that's our standard temp." The man, looked at me wide-eyed and cupped his ear, "Did you just say 'They're pretty much the same'??" Of course I did NOT say that medium and medium rare is the same because that's just idiodic. "No, sir..." and I repeated my statement. Why would I say something like that?? I guess some have...who knows.

Oh, I had this other guy--he and his wife and daughter are regulars in our establishment. The guy is kinda loud and brash at times, but his wife makes up for it with kindness and patience. Their daughter is surprisingly well-behaved, so somehow, it balances out. Well, just to preface, tonight we were out of linens, which we use to wrap tortillas with, so the kitchen was forced to use wax paper. When I came to check-back, the man says "What dingbat thought of using wax paper??" To which I replied, "Well, sir, when we run out of linens, we have to get creative. Sorry for the inconvenience." That shut him up, and his cute, passive wife just snickered. I heard her say as I walked away, "I told you there was a good explanation for it..." Teehee. What a douchebag.

Tonight was a short shift with a fun crew. Positive, light, and easy. Nice. It's about time. :)

Double tomorrow.

True not False

2008-02-12T01:39:00.000-05:00

You can tell everything you need to know about a person by the way he/she treats your waiter.

The Positivity Plan

2008-02-09T18:14:00.001-05:00

In light of my resolution to remain a positive being while "on display," I've been writing down a list of things I absolutely love about waiting tables. This is definitely a list I will be adding to in future posts.

The things I love about being a server:

1. I love fat men who take the most obvious isle seat. This could definitely apply to fat women and children. Now that I think about it, this can also apply to families who insist their child's high-chair sit directly in the isle-way. I'm a big girl, and my restaurant was definintely not made with the big guy/gal in mind, but you do have to be conscious of it to a degree. I understand that the Law of Exceptions allows that there may be situations where the man/woman/child/high-chair has no other option, obviously, it is NOT their fault. However, when there is another option, and it is not taken--for whatever reason--I think they do it on purpose. Grrr.

2. I love tables who completely ignore my check-back. For those of you who don't understand the lingo, a check-back is done a few minutes after the app/entree/dessert is delivered--just to make sure everything is okay. I walked up to this two-top the other day, to do my check-back, and neither of them even looked up from their conversation. I just said, "Glad to here it, Ladies," and walked away. They're lucky nothing was wrong with their meals or I would have flipped out!

3. I love when the "App-Girl" fills the salsa bin to the tipity-top so that even the smallest ladle makes the biggest mess! Also with this bout of love, I want to include that she also waits to fill the salsa bin until someone is standing there scraping the bottom with a soup spoon. Then, she proceeds to take big jugs of salsa and plops it in the bin--salsa-ing the nearest server. (Just to clarify, we have an app station that is closer to the dining room--some appetizers and all the chips come out here, and there is usually one "app girl" running the show.)

4. I love the prospect of a Secret Shopper. The restaurant I'm in currently has the most secret shoppers of any restaurant I have ever worked in. We get two a month. (I've always experienced one secret shopper quarterly.) You know the signs of a secret shopper--everyone does--they come from the bar (sometimes, not always), or they order a bar drink; they order appetizers, and, usually, they ask questions about the menu. They each get entrees usually as well. Sometimes, another obvious sign is that the tables will ask for their server's name (which we are NOT required to tell them). In any event, if a server suspects a table of being a Secret Shopper, they immediately inform the manager, who does a table-call; thus, perfecting, yet another Secret Shopper.

5. I love people who order things "for later." Sometimes, as a table is ordering their meal, they will tell me of an entirely different drink they want with their dinner. This is annoying because I can't ring it in right away--I have to wait for your food. This creates a problem because I have some difficulty with short-term memory, and even if I write it down, I just won't remember to look. I don't know. Maybe I'm just a bad server, but it annoys me when people do this.

6. I love when managers refuse to buy a guests' meal when they blatantly found a foreign object in their food. A two-top of regulars (they are in multiple times a week), ordered their entrees only to find a hair in one of the dishes. The server (not me this time) took the entree to the kitchen, and they made the nice-old-regular a fresh dish. When the server was preparing the check, she asked the manager if he would take off their meal. It seemed as though, the only way this manager would take the food off is if they didn't want it remade. I guess that makes sense, but when you're dealing with regulars, I think they should get the "hook-up" every now and then. I like to hook up the regulars (which I really can't do where I work now). It makes them feel even better about throwing money at you! :)

7. I love moron hostesses.

8. I love being skipped in rotation.

9. I love when the bussers use clean tables to clean dirty tables. The busser went to clean one of my tables, and he proceeded to place his dirty-schmegma-covered-dirty-ass-tray on one of my nice clean tables, while he piled the crap on it from the dirty one. Ugh. That doesn't make any sense now, does it?

10. I love how kids meals tend to take FOREVER on a busy Friday night.

11. I love how guests pay so little attention they don't even know who their server is. I had a table the other night, who was a little consumed in their own world, but whatever. After I've dropped the check, I see them handing it to another server. (This "other server" is about three inches shorter than I am, has blond hair--I have brown--and she's nearly nine months pregnant.) I walk up to meet her at the table to see if I can do something--I am their server! As I'm walking up, I hear my table thank the other server, then she hands the server two fives and says, "One's for you, and the other's for the baby." What?! She's not even your server! I know I'm a big girl, but I definitely do NOT look nine months pregnant! Oh, how disturbing!

12. I love people who choose to sit at dirty tables.

13. I love campers. For those of you unsure of the vernacular, "campers" are those people who have completed their meal, received the check, made payment, and have proceeded to pitch a tent in their server's section. They pitch a tent, build a fire, snuggle up with blankets, and chat around the camp. Boo. If you are going to sit--compensate your server. What this means is, $$$$. If you are sitting two hours after you have paid, you have just cost me at least 2 tables worth of tips. I am basically paying you to stay there--please don't do it. Especially on a Friday night! Please! I'm begging! If you do plan to sit, make your server aware, and tell him/her that you will be compensating them for their time. Thank you.

14. I love when tables say they need something "in a minute." I get people all them time, who tell me they need something "in a minute." Well, considering that MY JOB is to anticipate your needs, would you mind letting me do just that. Today, I was delivering food at a table, and I asked them if they needed anything else, the man told me that he would need another diet coke "in a minute." He had nearly 3/4 of his gigantic diet coke, and I just nodded to his request, but part of my job is keeping an eye on tables to see if I can bring them anything, right? Of course you're going to need a refill--that's pretty much why I'm here. Other than refills I'm pretty much useless. Ugh.

So, there it is, my Lovely list! :)
I'll try to stay positive at work, but I think that means my blogging will be more frequent.

Round Table: Service Industry Blog Carnival

2008-02-06T22:33:00.000-05:00

Welcome
to
This Week's
Bitchy Edition
of
"The Round Table"
Vol. VIII

Welcome to my humble abode...Come in, have a seat--let's chat about this week's cream of the crop, the funniest of the funny, and some of the most original server posts I've read. I'll keep you up to date, point you in a different direction with some new-comers, and make you laugh like never before with some ridiculous stories/posts I found...okay, this is gonna be fun, kids! Shit, you might even learn something! :) Enjoy!

Raging Server's Ranch Rant is a painfully true story. Poor Ribeye, working with an abscess!—Much worse than ANY of my days! His story makes me feel like a complete bitch--I would've stabbed someone if I were in that much pain, and dealing with such dirty slime! Extreme Kudos to you, Ribeye, for sticking it out!

This week, Ali's guests played games and got a little too comfortable in her bar. She was forced to break some hearts (poor drunk regular). No worries, though, I'm sure he'll be back, cause she's "priddy" I don't know who's worse--flirty drunk man or weird, close-talker?? But Ali knows how to make it work and make that money! Congrats on the high score, Ali!

Even though Upset Waitress is taking a much-needed break from the serving scene, I know this won't be the last we hear from her! Enjoy your vacation!
UW's Winter Wonderland antics can put a smile on any Bitch's face! I think she and I must have been fellow-servers in a previous life--not only does she support the Kitchen Olympics, but she also likes to heat things up! :) In addition, I am pleased to announce that UW has finally posted an Official Disclaimer! Wow! That explains sooo much...FYI, the vocal chord paralysis is sporadic, and the brain lesions take a few weeks to heal...

The Carnival, this ever-expanding Round Table, is what introduced me to Restaurant Gal. Her charm goes unmet, and her perspectives are original and endearing. I'm definitely a fan. RG also shares a lovely story about positivity and "going with the flow" (an ability I tend to lack!), and keeping peace and serenity at work--I had to share. Delightful.

There's never a dull moment over at the Award Winning, Well Done Fillet! Manuel's suave moves and non-shakespearean vernacular make for an entertaining read.

Cassy over at Half Server/Half Amazing is having a productive week! Learning a new menu, and inventing delicious beverages! (I can barely make a margarita!) Well done! Also, Cassy has posted, quite possibly, the funniest video I have ever seen! Thanks Cassy! :)

Newcomer, Bitter Waitress...I love her already! Her posts are smooth, and her words ring crystal clear. My favorite post so far is retrospective, funny, and inspiring. And if that doesn't get you, her headline today will: "Passive aggression is not a game to be played by children like you." Perfect. :)

Insane Waiter and I share one inarguable truth: We both, admittingly, enjoy making the idiots we serve look like asses whenever possible! I love it! While you're perusing his sight, check out his post on tipping laws and taxes too! Get Educated!

Adding to his list of pet peeves, Lobster Boy discusses his feelings on patrons with obvious substance abuse problems. After a grueling Super Bowl Shift, I hope LB got a couple days off! Poor Lobster! I can't lie, I have a crush on the little crustacean...what can I say? He's hysterical!

I was amazed to read Dennis' article on the Natural Disaster-Themed Restaurant. It's a facsinating concept, but I'm not sure if hurricans and earthquakes are necessarily appetizing...

Last, but certainly not least, I am sad to announce a bittersweet end to a terrific blog! The creator of "I Server Idiots" has decided to move on to brighter possibilities after an 18-month stretch. Good luck, Ryan!

Well, there you have it, folks! The Eighth Edition Round Table is complete! Thanks for stopping by! Happy Reading!

Your Bitchiest,
Bitchy Waitress

P.S.

2008-02-05T14:22:00.000-05:00

I realize that yesterday's post is completely contradictory--it's okay.
I think I need to bitch somewhere or I will explode...I just need to stop bitching at work...I'll save it for you fine people!! :) Thanks for reading!

Slow Poke

2008-02-04T19:20:00.000-05:00

I decided, after my recent post, and my nice, relaxing weekend off, that I should try going in with a positive attitude. I put in some good, upbeat tunes and headed in to open. I got there on time--yay!-- and open was kind of a breeze. Today was molassass slow...thick and runny, gooey, slow.Even though it was slow, I was working with a fun crew, so it made the day pass happily.

Tomorrow, being Fat Tuesday 'n all, we're having quite a little shindig. I ususally have off, but I thought it would be stupid for me not to work, with the opportunity of making money, and potentially, it could be fun! Who knows...stranger things have happened! :)

Today's lack of tables means that nothing happened worth blogging about. I've had a list going in my book for about a week that I haven't shared, so here goes:

1. Fear of Abandoment
I've talked about this topic before, and it comes in many forms. Sometimes, the patron makes me stand their while he reads the menu because he's afraid I won't come back. This particular note was inspired by the young couple, on, what seemed to be, a lunch date. I handed him the check, and he says, "I'm ready" immediately. So, I proceed to stand there, while he digs in his coat to find his wallet in the inside pocket, pulls out money, then starts pulling money out of his back pocket. I am not going to stand there while you fish for cash, Sorry. So, I turned, and slowly walked away...I didn't go very far, but I really hate standing there waiting for someone to pay.

2. Exceptions (a running theme)
I was sat a four top--mother and three children--very well-dressed, very well-mannered. Her children were under the age of 7, and they didn't get out of line once. All of the children ordered for him/herself--even the little one, he was probably three or four. Totally sweet. We had a great rapport, the kids liked me--I had them giggling :) Bottom line: $5 on $44. Thanks.

3. DO NOT TALK TO ME WHILE I'M TRYING TO SERVE ANOTHER TABLE.
If you are a guest in my section, and you see me delivering food, but you'd like more chips, please, just try to make eye-contact and give me a little nod. I don't need you repeating, "Ma'am" over and over until I look up and give you a dirty look. A little respect please. Besides, any good server checks all their tables before leaving his or her section...it should be habitual. Thank you.

4. The Most Amazing Thing a Guest has Ever Said:
"Eating here is like sex...it's never bad!"
~no comment

5. This Restaurant is NOT Your Living Room.
If you have sooo much shit that it won't fit under the table or comfortably on the corner of your chair, then leave it in the car! I know you people have all those babies, but I guarantee you, you don't use half the stuff in there during the course of your meal. Especially if your youngster is so young he doesn't even order off the kids' meal. Infants don't need that many accessories. Small children, yes, I know they need things to occupy their ever-expanding mind--so fine...make them a bag, big enough for them to carry, to bring in the restaurant. People travel with luggage these days! I really don't understand who needs all that stuff. And they decide that baggage claim is the isle in my section! We already jam-pack tables into our establishment, we don't need the baggage...no one needs baggage....okay, I'm done.

6. Do NOT Bring Senile People in to an Establishment Without a Translator!
No explaination needed.

Close Dinner Tomorrow.

Perks

2008-02-02T19:00:00.001-05:00

Okay, so a lot has been going on "behind the scenes" in my restaurant. I guess I've turned my bitchy-ness up a notch...I don't know...I am a happy person. But, I am jaded. It's a difficult position to be in--controlled by a career I hate because I can't find a decent job, and I have to pay my rent...at least. My life is dictated by the shifts I work each week. And, I hate my job. I am a slave to it, just as I am a slave to all the hungry people in the area...

I know I'm not the only one, but this realization has kinda put me in a funk. I've been re-reading some previous posts, and I don't have many good days...*Red Flag*

I do have to make some changes in my attitude...I have to learn to let things go.

I got to this point in the last restaurant I work in, but it took 6 years. I started there green, and left knowing more than I ever wanted to know about the restaurant business. (During that time, I also worked for three other places.)

After six years at the first restaurant, I had been planning a month-long trip, so I just told them I would call them when I got back to talk about the schedule. I was so tired of serving by that point--feeling similar to how I'm feeling now--that I decided I would never wait tables again. (Never say never, kids.) When I returned from my trip, I went in for lunch one day (alone) and talked with the manager. I never went back.
For the next three years, I didn't wait tables. But, when times get tough, and money gets tight (like it has been for the last year), the easiest and fastest way to make money is to wait tables. It is the truth. I think I just have a way of picking the places that make me work extremely hard for next to nothing, but fine-dining was never my thing. I can barely open a bottle of wine. I don't think I'd fit in...not with my potty-mouth.
So, now I worry that my job is in jeaprody because my attitude is sour before I even get there. I just don't want to be there. At all. I'm working on finding something else, but these things take time.
During that "time," I thought it would be beneficial for me to write down the perks of working in my restaurant:
1. I genuinely like (and get along with) the majority of the staff.
2. The food is delicious.
3. At close, the KM will let the staff eat what's left on the line.
4. We get a discount on food when we're working (Ammendment: Saturday and Sunday lunch-singles cannot order food. *Note: We do not get a discount on food if we're not working. The food we do get discounted we cannot take TO GO.)
5. I can walk out for a smoke break (if I ask permission, of course!).

Pretty measley list. I'll try to "add as I go," but this is all I've got.

Even though the list didn't work out as I planned, I am going to attempt looking to the brighter side of waiting tables--maybe the side that is so bright, it blinds me from seeing the all the shit that pisses me off.

I'll try.

Off tomorrow...Open Monday.

Loud and Clear

2008-02-01T17:41:00.000-05:00

Today was a bit of a clusterfuck. At the start of the day, us servers were made aware of the computer repairs that would be taking place during a Friday lunch--the crash kit was brought into affect immediately. Ugh. You know it's gonna be a fun day when the crash kit comes out!
A crash kit is a set of server books equipped with price guides, old-school order pads with carbon copies, calculators, manual credit card slips, etc. This is used in the event of a computer crash.
So, fine. Usually, the crash kit creates a little more intensity, but that's not a bad thing is it?? As soon as the shift started, the other manager comes out to tell us that the computers were fine--we could ring checks in. Great.
A few minutes later we were told not to ring orders in because the printers were down. A few minutes later we were told it was fixed and we could ring orders in again. WTF?
At one point, I just took an order for a 6-top, so I went to the computers to start ringing it in, when a fellow server tells me that we were supposed to write them down again...Ahhhhh, so I find the nearest manager and ask what I should do--I was told to write it down. I went and wrote it down clearly and concisely, to ensure no confusion. I take the check into the kitchen, and get waved off and told to ring it in now. Are you fucking kidding me?? It took me approx. five to seven minutes to finally get their order in....and it still took 20 minutes for them to get their food!
I just think we should have stuck with the crash kits until we knew for sure that the computers were working. They could send test checks--we don't have to use our tables' orders as guniea pigs.
So, as we were dying down, I had a four-top of guys--fun table! Anyway, their food was taking a pretty long time--for what it was. They ordered simply--I could tell they were on their lunch break. So, after I realized that the check was at 19 minutes, I approached one of the two managers and asked if they would do a table-check. This manager told me that a lot of checks were running long--"Am I supposed to visit every table??" I didn't say this, but "Yes." Yes, you should visit every table if we're having check problems...that is your job, right?? The guys finally got their food, after they had been joking with me about leaving and going to McDonalds.
I didn't do too bad today--$50 and I didn't close lunch. I'll take it. I got rent paid, so lazy days are ahead...off tomorrow and Sunday!!

Open Monday.

Mini-Sabbatical

2008-01-26T23:55:00.000-05:00

This week has been a bit rough for me, so I decided to take a few days off from blogging--more next week though! Put yer hat on, kids, the notes are piling up! :)

Happy Reading!

~BW

All Wet

2008-01-22T19:07:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, being MLK Day, I was excited to work--make that money!! We were steady all day; therefore, no cuts were made, but that didn't bother me because of my full section. Tables were fine; although there were a TON of kids, but that's to be expected on such a holiday.
Well, around 3:00, I was getting restless, hungry, and a tad irritated (just because of waiting tables, not because of anything specific), when the fire alarm lights (above the actual alarm) started to blink, giving a strobe-light effect, and a low alarm began to sound. It was not loud and "alarming" but it was sounding, and then, there was The Voice: "This is an emergency, please evacuate the building in an orderly fashion." This repeated three or four times before it ceased. Not a patron moved. Nothing stopped. A few looked at me questioningly, but no one took action. At first, I figured someone pulled the alarm or that there was a "short" somewhere to set it off. Then, I went into the kitchen...
One of the sprinkler pipes in the walk-in refrigerator burst. This is what set off the alarm. A two-foot wave of ice cold water was flooding into the kitchen, being met by the FOH (front-of-the-house) managers, armed with squeegees, sending it down the nearest drain. Water did NOT flood into the dining room (FOH), but it did create such a mess that we HAD to evacuate.
People were NOT that concerned. My table just happened to be the last to leave. They had just received their food minutes before the clusterfuck, and refused boxes when I told them of the chaos. They sat, they ate (kinda-quickly), and paid, but they did take more time than everyone else. Whatever. I told them they could sit until they saw water pouring from the kitchen. I didn't care. So, we had to clean up as if we were closing, but because cuts weren't made, the process went quickly. During the next hour we obviously had patrons try to come in, and I was by the door, so I had to break the news. Most were concerned about the restaurant, one man was pissed he had driven thirty miles (I told him to go to the bookstore down the street for an hour and hopefully we'd be up-and-running by then...small glimmers of hope...). I can't lie, a part of me secretly (or not-so-secretly) enjoyed telling people we weren't serving food...what can I say??

Off tomorrow...double Thursday.

What Just Happened???

2008-01-20T22:45:00.000-05:00

Over the course of the last, oh, three shifts, I have managed to insult someone I genuinely care about, fight with the Kitchen Manager, and nearly get fired by my GM. The latter was this morning. I picked up lunch--the worst idea I ever had.
Originally I picked up in a section that came in at 11:30, but last night, a co-worker asked me to open for her. I didn't put it in the shift-change book because 1) I forgot, and 2) I knew I would be there. Well, I should have checked, because I came in to open to find that I clocked out with 35 hours last night. My GM tells me to NOT clock-in until 11:30, and that I have to be out by 4:30. I know they pull this shit ALL the time, but it gets more and more frustrating. So, I continued to help open (I couldn't just sit back while the others opened with four rather than five. Well, whatever, I shook that off....kinda.
My section was a 10-top and three 4-tops. My big-top was sat with four adults and six children, whoop-di-doo, and while I was waiting for them to finish up, my GM meanders to my side and asks on their progress. He tells me that he has an 11 and a 13 waiting, and he asks which one I would prefer. I tell him that I would love to take an 11-top solo (which is, for some stupid-ass reason, forbidden in our neck of the woods). Standards state that we have to split parties over 10, but we do have the, "at the manager's discretion," disclaimer, so that's why I ask. He refuses. He says it's his discretion...I think it's his own bullshit.
My GM's a normal guy, and we have candid discussions about the restaurant all the time. When he told me that I couldn't take the 11, I told him that today was a waste of my time. I was saying this to him as a general comment, like I said, candidly, but he took it way differently than I intended. He then told me if I was wasting my time, that I could leave. He told me to do 50 roll-ups and leave. I was shocked. I couldn't believe that it's gotten to the point where I can't even make a comment. I know he's my GM, but you have to understand our relationship. We're professional, but we each bitch about things all the time. It's not like I've never been candid with him before--I guess what I mean, is my comment is no different than a comment I would have made two days ago...I think he was in a "mood" today. Fuck that.