Friday, I worked a double, and it was a roller coaster ride through complete and utter frustration and the general hatred for all patrons, to a delirium that sent me above the negativity, to a place where all my cares slipped away, and I allowed myself to be candid, have a little fun, and make some money.
The lunch shift tested my patience, tried my professionalism, and just pissed me off. *Side note: I got pulled over speeding to make it to work on time. Not too bad of a ticket, but it still set the tone for the day.*
My first table was obnoxious from the start. We didn't have fresh chips available, so I brought the cup of salsa and an explanation. But, before I could give my schpeale, Suzy Original says, "Oh, *giggle* what should we do with that? *giggle* Drink it?" She and her cronies giggle because I guess Suzy is the witty one of the group, "Well," I snidely giggle back, "I could bring you a spoon..." *giggle* "I'll bring fresh chips out in a minute." They liked my little quip. In my mind, I took that cup of salsa and poured it over her head.
At this other table (also gabbing women) I went to take their order and two kept talking while the third ordered. The woman ordering asked me several questions about the menu, while her friends continued to talk getting louder and louder. Completely annoying. Finally, she ordered, and I moved to the gabster, who had the EXACT SAME QUESTION. The third woman did it too. Unfuckingbelievable. I wanted to smack them all with menus.
Word to the wise. Every server in every restaurant I have ever worked in HATES MAKING SHIRLEY TEMPLES. They are a pain in the ass. It's one of the last drinks I make because I have to slide by the bar to get the grenadine; then, I'm at the bar with a full tray, trying to pour the sugar substance into your child's drink. Red dye makes small children crazy. Why would you want your children to have sugar poured directly into their sugar-filled soda. That's just silly. It's no wonder kids start climbing the walls before the end of the meal. Besides, not every server knows how to make one properly. I know how to make them properly, and I tell you right now that if you order a Shirley Temple, I will use a very liberal amount of grenadine. If you are an ADULT and you order a Shirley Temple (or a cherry coke) your stomach will probably hurt and you will most likely order a water later.
Has anyone ever had a guest order half regular coke/half diet?? This guy asked for that this weekend...weird. It, too, was a pain in the ass, and he really had a diet, but never said a word.
The rest of lunch was slow and annoying, so I went on break, took a breath filled with nicotine, and headed back in for the night shift. Patrons were in fine moods (that always helps). Feeling tired and numb, I slipped into my happy place (like a stage for my opening night act), focused on my tables. They loved me, and I made the most money I've made in a long time.
Saturday night was so busy, it's all a blur. It went by quickly, and it was lucrative. All I know is, another rent's paid.