Saturday, January 26, 2008


This week has been a bit rough for me, so I decided to take a few days off from blogging--more next week though! Put yer hat on, kids, the notes are piling up! :)

Happy Reading!


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

All Wet

Yesterday, being MLK Day, I was excited to work--make that money!! We were steady all day; therefore, no cuts were made, but that didn't bother me because of my full section. Tables were fine; although there were a TON of kids, but that's to be expected on such a holiday.
Well, around 3:00, I was getting restless, hungry, and a tad irritated (just because of waiting tables, not because of anything specific), when the fire alarm lights (above the actual alarm) started to blink, giving a strobe-light effect, and a low alarm began to sound. It was not loud and "alarming" but it was sounding, and then, there was The Voice: "This is an emergency, please evacuate the building in an orderly fashion." This repeated three or four times before it ceased. Not a patron moved. Nothing stopped. A few looked at me questioningly, but no one took action. At first, I figured someone pulled the alarm or that there was a "short" somewhere to set it off. Then, I went into the kitchen...
One of the sprinkler pipes in the walk-in refrigerator burst. This is what set off the alarm. A two-foot wave of ice cold water was flooding into the kitchen, being met by the FOH (front-of-the-house) managers, armed with squeegees, sending it down the nearest drain. Water did NOT flood into the dining room (FOH), but it did create such a mess that we HAD to evacuate.
People were NOT that concerned. My table just happened to be the last to leave. They had just received their food minutes before the clusterfuck, and refused boxes when I told them of the chaos. They sat, they ate (kinda-quickly), and paid, but they did take more time than everyone else. Whatever. I told them they could sit until they saw water pouring from the kitchen. I didn't care. So, we had to clean up as if we were closing, but because cuts weren't made, the process went quickly. During the next hour we obviously had patrons try to come in, and I was by the door, so I had to break the news. Most were concerned about the restaurant, one man was pissed he had driven thirty miles (I told him to go to the bookstore down the street for an hour and hopefully we'd be up-and-running by then...small glimmers of hope...). I can't lie, a part of me secretly (or not-so-secretly) enjoyed telling people we weren't serving food...what can I say??

Off tomorrow...double Thursday.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

What Just Happened???

Over the course of the last, oh, three shifts, I have managed to insult someone I genuinely care about, fight with the Kitchen Manager, and nearly get fired by my GM. The latter was this morning. I picked up lunch--the worst idea I ever had.
Originally I picked up in a section that came in at 11:30, but last night, a co-worker asked me to open for her. I didn't put it in the shift-change book because 1) I forgot, and 2) I knew I would be there. Well, I should have checked, because I came in to open to find that I clocked out with 35 hours last night. My GM tells me to NOT clock-in until 11:30, and that I have to be out by 4:30. I know they pull this shit ALL the time, but it gets more and more frustrating. So, I continued to help open (I couldn't just sit back while the others opened with four rather than five. Well, whatever, I shook that off....kinda.
My section was a 10-top and three 4-tops. My big-top was sat with four adults and six children, whoop-di-doo, and while I was waiting for them to finish up, my GM meanders to my side and asks on their progress. He tells me that he has an 11 and a 13 waiting, and he asks which one I would prefer. I tell him that I would love to take an 11-top solo (which is, for some stupid-ass reason, forbidden in our neck of the woods). Standards state that we have to split parties over 10, but we do have the, "at the manager's discretion," disclaimer, so that's why I ask. He refuses. He says it's his discretion...I think it's his own bullshit.
My GM's a normal guy, and we have candid discussions about the restaurant all the time. When he told me that I couldn't take the 11, I told him that today was a waste of my time. I was saying this to him as a general comment, like I said, candidly, but he took it way differently than I intended. He then told me if I was wasting my time, that I could leave. He told me to do 50 roll-ups and leave. I was shocked. I couldn't believe that it's gotten to the point where I can't even make a comment. I know he's my GM, but you have to understand our relationship. We're professional, but we each bitch about things all the time. It's not like I've never been candid with him before--I guess what I mean, is my comment is no different than a comment I would have made two days ago...I think he was in a "mood" today. Fuck that.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Welcome to Saturday

I went into work feeling pretty mellow--I was scheduled to work in the VERY back section (last in rotation), so I figured I'd have a slow start to my day. I should have known better. As soon as I clocked in, I was sat a 2-top, immediately followed by an 8 and a 4. They were sat so close together that another server said, "Is this a joke?" Nope. I was steady all night. Tables were one too terrible.

At one point, I was sat with an 11-top. When the hosts sat them, she told me that they wanted a birthday cake, but I couldn't order it at that point anyway, so I kinda brushed it to the side. Then, my manager came to me telling me that the table requested a birthday cake. Still too early-on, so, again, I couldn't order it. Then people from the table told me. Despite my multiple reminders, I managed somehow to forget their fucking cake. I consider myself to be a good server, but when shit like this happens (it does from time to time), I get so mad at myself. I just couldn't believe I forgot their cake! I'm such an ass! They were fine (I redeemed myself in record time), but I felt like a such a schmuck. Ugh. Okay, I'm over it.

My Pet Peeve for the evening stems from the actions of a fellow server. I really like the particular server, but this act really got under my skin. I was pre-bussing a big table, speaking to the table, and I hear him calling my name--loudly. I turn (with a nasty look, undoubtedly), and it turns out he had a menu question--an EASY menu question. I answered kindly, considering we were on display, but I wanted to rip his face off.

My last table of the night was a 6-top who waited a very long time for a table. As my manager was seating them, I could hear the man talking to her about all the tables that were sat prior before him who should have been sat after him, blah, blah, blah. Great. I hate going up to a table that's already pissed. So, I greet them, with all smiles, loads of chips and salsa, and quick drinks. I got their food to them quickly, and my manager bought their appetizers. They weren't mean to me, but they weren't super-friendly either. They had three kids ranging in age from 9 - 13 (an estimate, of course), and they all got kids' meals...our kids' meals are insanely cheap. Their bill was only $39, and they left me $4. That makes me wonder if they were a) ignorant on tipping standards, or 2) pissed off from the start. Either way, fuck 'em.

Lunch tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Wearing Thin

Waiting tables is bringing me down, so I haven't worked very much since my last post--at least I haven't worked enough to find something to blog about.

Today was good and bad. I worked a double, and lunch started off steady. I was 2nd in rotation, and I had a table before shift meeting was over. That started the day off quickly and happily--I was ready to make money. For the first hour and a half, we were steady--then DEAD. By 1, everyone had cleared out, and cuts were up by 1:30. I was done by 2, and had a 2 hour break--nice. I didn't make a whole lot of money, but my tables were pleasant, as were my co-workers, so the day went smoothly and happily.

I was in the same section for dinner (which, by the way, is NOT my favorite section), and the shift was very similar to lunch (cuts were up before 9).

Now, my section is right next to the host-stand, and there is a computer station right there as well. At one point, during our "steady" time, I noticed the moron hostesses (see, that's some trash, right???) were in some kind of frenzy because they realized that two of my tables were about to get up, and they just sat a six-top (with only two members at the table). They were looking at my section, and looking at the wait-list, back and forth. Those little bitches are going to triple-seat me! I could feel it in my bones. And they are usually such idiots about it because they try to stagger, but they don't know how to wait tables so they don't understand how to stagger--does that make sense?? So, I say, "If you're going to do it, do it all at once, and do it now." They looked at me wide-eyed, "Really?!" "Don't stagger--seat them at the exact same time." I already had a four and that six, and they sat another four and a two. It actually worked out pretty well (for the most part...there are always exceptions).

Later, after all the patrons suddenly vanished, the one hostess says, "Wow, you rocked it tonight." (Teehee, it was hard not to laugh at her little comment--I do think I giggled--it was a really nice compliment.) Then, I explained to her how I feel about that scenario: I would rather the tables go down at the exact same time because I just treat it like a big-top. Not every server likes big-tops, and I don't necessarily dig them, but I can handle them. Also, once I have greets and drink orders, I end up "staggering" the tables myself--I just have to bust butt for a minute getting started. Well, it works for worked tonight. :)

Tips tonight were weird though. Three times I had checks that were $17/$18 and they would leave a twenty--that hurts. But then, there were some surprises, like $12 on $40--nice!
It was a fun night! Everyone was in a good mood. There was a quick pop-in from corporate-guy...duhn-duhn-duhn...He's going to be in the restaurant for the next two or three days--he's leaving Saturday (don't know when). But this guy is sooooo much better than stupid refill-crazy corporate lady (see earlier post). So, we'll have fun, and everyone will do their job because the "suit" has arrived. Yippee.

Right now we have a lot of newer people, and they are either lazy and don't do ANY running sidework, OR they haven't waited tables before and they suck so they can't do running sidework. However, some of the not-so-new-newer-people and the older staff don't do anything either. Some shifts are rough. No one was doing ANYTHING. Whatever. The next few days we'll be pretty spotless, and we'll get to see corporate guy run around trying to help all night...great...sometimes it's funny...

Dinner tomorrow.

Friday, January 11, 2008


I worked a double today, and I actually did NOT want to shoot myself after the day. I worked with a lot of my favorite people, which is always fun. My section was poop, and lunch was pretty beat (but I kinda cheated at lunch and gave myself an extra table--I got caught, but it was fun while it lasted!) And then came dinner! Woo Hoo! Still in the same poop section, and it wasn't even THAT busy, but I made out because of that whole illiteracy problem I ranted about in an earlier post.
Right before cuts went up, I was sat with a large party of teens/early twenty-year-olds. I was not really excited about this table, but I figured it was big enough to put gratuity on, so whatever. They were nice enough...some were pretty hard-headed when it came to ordering, but what do you expect, they're kids (and, at first glance, I thought they probably never worked in a restaurant before). After singing "Happy Birthday" and taking a few pictures of the group, I dropped the check with an 18% gratuity of roughly $32--I was happy with that. They paid mostly in cash, and told me to keep the change--obviously they did not see the gratuity because they left me an extra $40 (see, people, there are always exceptions...they didn't seem like the type to over-tip or tip never can tell).

Now, I have been working in the restaurant business for ten years (on and off), and I came to this conclusion early on:
If you cannot READ YOUR CHECK, your stupidity will NOT be corrected if it is in my favor. If you unintentionally double-tip me , that's your loss, folks, not mine. Oh, hey guys, you left me WAAAAYYY too much money! --Yeah, I can totally hear myself saying that. Uhh, did you realize that the gratuity was ONLY $32?? No way.

It'll come back to me somehow (unless this is payback for the couple days...hmmm...) Restaurant karma does exist. But for now, I made a killing on the day!

Today's tip: Don't burn the day away.

Close dinner tomorrow...

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Mucho Molesta

Today sucked. It's becoming more evident every day how much I really need to get out of the food industry. Resolution, here I come!

I opened this morning--the day started out fine. Another warm January day...Lunch was decent, but died quick. My regulars came in...I haven't seen them much since the New Year. It was good to catch up, and that helped lunch go by quickly, I think. Cuts did go up pretty early. I decided to go home on break, though, because I was already feeling the effect of the restaurant. Between actual work shit, and stupid work drama, being in the restaurant all day is exhausting! Going home kinda gives me a fresh start.

Sidenote: A girlfriend of mine, from the restaurant, called me (she was also on break) to tell me that, as she was driving home, she thought she saw another friend of ours (who works with us) in an accident on the other side of the highway. Unfuckingbelievable. All I know is that she is conscious and coherent, so that is positive--no serious head trauma. I had to go back to work, so I wasn't able to call the hospital until after my shift, but she was admitted. I hope to know more soon. *Sigh*

Work. Ugh. I was working with some great people, but once AGAIN, they pushed my fucking tables together! That just made me pissy.

I had a series of those, I-know-your-job-better-than-you-do," tables. I had this older couple (70-75) who just wouldn't let me do my job! As I'm reaching for the cup of salsa on my tray, he asks me for more salsa...I smile and set it down. Later, as I'm heading from the wait-station, with their refills in my hand, they hold up their tumblers (*real high*), pointing and mouthing, "Diet Coke."

Mobile woman: This lady who got up three times throughout her experience to come ask me for something. Weird. I was giving them attentive service (there are times when I'm a bad server, but this time was not one of them)--she really just couldn't wait, I guess.

Story of the night would have to be this douche bag who thought he could create his very own menu item. Modifications happen...then, there are those people who just invent something. Bastardos! This man today took one of our classic "wraps" and butchered it. Then, he asked for avocado--NOT guacamole! Avocado. What a dick. This is just annoying because we only use avocado for guacamole....this man's "wrap" did not use the entire avocado, so the rest was waisted (eaten by the kitchen staff). But still. Bill: $17.67 Tip: $3.32 Oh, you're welcome, sir. (I did charge him for the avocado $1.95....I thought that was a steal!)

Word of the day: avocado :)

Dinner tomorrow.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Melodramatic Venting

Tonight started off fine. I was scheduled to close, so I went in with the mentality that I was going to turn tables all night, and make that money! Boy I couldn't have been more wrong. What's wrong with me?? How could I be so naive to think that a night would actually go smoothly? Okay, enough with the dramatics--I'm ready to vent!

Tonight I had four 4-tops, and I had a full section quickly. I didn't even rotate through twice before the hosts were pushing my tables together (our check-time average is 30 - 45 min). It was so fucking annoying! Mainly because it happens to me EVERY FUCKING WEEKEND. Sometimes I think it's a conspiracy, and the rest of the time I know it's because the moron-hosts running rotation triple-sat me in the beginning of the shift, so all of my tables were getting up around the same time. Stupid hosts. It was even more annoying knowing that we were also on a "smallie" wait (and, yes, I hate calling it that).

So, the six-top sits down, and I notice it's adults, so I'm pleased ("Margarita anyone??"). They were a little hard-to-judge at first, but then it became apparent that they were all the spawn of Satan, and had entered my establishment to bring the wrath of Hell down on my very soul...teehee. No, but they seemed annoyed by me, so that affected the way that I acted--kinda short, but kind and attentive. So, they order, and I deliver their food, a couple need drinks at this time, whatever. I go over to "check back," and one of the women just looks at me, points to her plate with her fork, and states, (with food in her mouth!), "My sour cream?" Oh, did you ask for sour cream? Sorry I didn't get your telepathic message. When I return with her precious sour cream, the rest of the tables starts spouting out that they want water, another beer, whatever, and this annoys me because they ALL have nearly-full drinks in front of them. I just brought them each waters and a refill/beer. I'm happy after I've pre-bussed--no one wants anything else, so I drop the check. They proceed to CAMP for one hour! For a six-top, I would say our average can be an hour or an hour and a half (especially if they're drinking, in which case--stay all night!). It was horrible. Then, my window-seat had campers too! I was nearly in tears at one point! I eventually began to pace back and forth through my section taking as much off the table as I could. I was so annoyed. I can't pay bills on this shit. They finally paid: Bill = $87 Tip = $17 Boo. (It definitely could have been worse, but I was disappointed--at least throw me a twenty--ya know??)

The hosts had every intention of giving me another six-top, but I gave her a look of desperation, and she didn't. I told her she could triple-seat me (which she would have done somehow anyway), but it made her happy. They double-sat me, then staggered the third--I would rather they all go down at the exact same time, but whatever. I figured the table saw I was busy, and, I'm very communicative with my tables--they always know what I'm doing, which may be annoying, but it keeps most from having to ask for something I'm already going to bring for them--I want them to know I'm doing my job.
I greet the 4-top, and get their drink order: diet, coke, coke, water. Meanwhile, I had to put in the other two tables' order, and finally give my window-seat campers their check. Well, when I deliver the drinks, I give the dude a tea by mistake (I'm human? oh, that's right), and he says, "I guess I ordered tea." What?! Fuck your sarcasm, dude. "Oh, I'm sorry, sir" and I sped off--and I was definitely pissed because when I went to dump the tea in the sink (at the wait-station--that's a no-no), the cup slipped out of my hand, into the sink, and tea splashed up--it was MUCH more dramatic than I intended. I push my way through the clusterfuck around the wait-station to get this man the water he ordered, and when I return, and apologize again, he points at the table and says, "Can we get more salsa?" Why do people think I have a salsa in my pocket? Ready to serve? Would you like a straw with that, sir? How about a tumbler-full to drink with your meal? "Sir, would you like me to take your order first, or do you want the salsa now?" I was totally pissed (I should've just walked away to get the salsa immediately...they would've loved that). When I brought the extra salsa, I also brought chips and refills for the two gulpers, so they wouldn't have to talk to me.

Word of the Day = annoying (used six times...sorry about it was...annoying...mmwwhaahahahaha)

Today = Boo-tastic.

Off tomorrow...Open Monday.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

This Means War!

Today was frustrating because, it was probably the busiest lunch we've had all week, and everyone was still feeling lazy, so they chose to do nothing. We were not that busy...just busier than we've been. There is no reason why someone couldn't make iced tea or get ice. Like I said, this week has been pretty slow, so I guess everyone was still asleep?
We have two wait-stations: one in the front of the restaurant, by the bar area, and one in the back. I was mainly using the front one today, but at one point I realized that the back station didn't have a fruit slicer (lemon cutter); so, since it wasn't that busy, and the girls in the back had a large party plus a couple tables, I thought I'd cut some fruit for them. Then I realized that they had no ice. Oh, and no one had made iced tea (it takes 10 min. to brew). So, I finally get around to check my tables, and when I go to grab another iced tea, there were no tumblers. I get tumblers, and find the front station out of tea. It just seemed never-ending.
I don't want to boss people around, but they leave me no choice...

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Where's Everybody Wednesday

Dead. That's it. Dead. $330 in sales--ALL DAY. I pulled a double today, but I have to admit, even though it was slow, I wasn't really bothered by the lack of patrons. Hey, I payed my rent today, I don't really start scrambling until later in the month. I usually have a couple "free" days through the's bound to happen--it's in the hands of the restaurant gods.
One reason today wasn't so bad is that I was working with some of my favorite people--that always helps a slow day: interesting conversation.

P.S. I hated all my tables today. Some days, I'm not fazed by people at all; some days, I enjoy my tables, and other days, I hate them all. That day was today. (Except I did have two guys who asked: "Where exactly are we?" Then, I definitely gave them a funny look because he quickly followed with, "We're from New York, and we're passin' through, headin' home." That explained everything, but it was a really funny question.)