Thursday, November 29, 2007


Honestly, today is like a blur a little bit. I'm not really sure how I got through such a slow, long ass day. Actually, I was in a pretty good section for both of my shifts, so I didn't do too bad. I got a couple nice tips...
Sometimes tables bother me more than they would another day...does that make sense. I don't know. I was really impatient with a few tables today.
At lunch, I was sat a three-top of women. I actually recognized one girl from high school! Ugh. Whatever. So, I greet the table, all smiles, "Hi Ladies!" I set down a basket of chips ans some salsa and try to cut in, but they are engaged in conversation. I really didn't have the time, especially considering I didn't even want to wait on them anyway, but I was really trying to make the best of it and just do my job. They just wouldn't stop talking. So, I walked away. They didn't like that. I did a couple things that only took two or three minutes and returned to the table.
"We're ready to order." Great. The rest was fine...18%...I didn't expect any more.
At one point during lunch, I was dropping food for a table outside of my section (a four-top of women, and there's only two entrees on the tray). So, one is not eating, the other has the salad, and two are sharing a burger. As I'm setting the burger in between the sharing women, I say to them, "I will bring two plates over for you?" but the other two women are gabbling so loud, I guess the 1st sharing woman didn't hear because she proceeds to ask me for a plate. "Yup, I'll grab two." I turn, and 2nd sharing woman hollers for me, "Excuse me?" I turn, annoyed, "Yes?" "Can we have some plates?" I had visions of shaking her. I didn't even respond. I returned with the plates, and as I was setting the ketchup down, 2nd sharing woman starts to ask for it, she stops and looks at me apologetically. I know I gave her the nastiest look as I walked away, relieved I didn't have to wait on that table. Not that mine were that great.
This is something else I love when I'm at a table:
I greet this table with the chips and salsa, and before I've even set down the salsa, the entire table is reaching for the chips...the first meal in weeks apparently. So, I manage to hear their drink order amidst flying chip wads and massive mastication. I bring back their drinks, and they grunt that they are ready to order. Most of them manage to suppress their yearning desire to reach in for more chips long enough to give me their order, but there is always 1...he states his entree, which obviously comes with a side--it says so in the menu...oh, yeah, I forgot cool people don't read the menu, they only want to order fastest and commence shoveling as many chips into their mouth as possible. So, he orders, and I proceed to ask him what side his wants, as he has one chip in his hand--headed for the hanger. Rather than wait to answer before inhaling said chip, he tosses it in his mouth and answers me while chewing. Where do these people come from??

Opening tomorrow...(trying to pick up a dinner shift, but so far it's been really tough.)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Another day...

No one wanted to give me their dinner shift, so I had to come home. That's not so bad...I picked up a lunch shift tomorrow, and I'm trying to pick up dinner Friday. We'll see how that goes--we are fully staffed and everyone is fighting for shifts. Put up your dukes! Today was okay...I think I made around $60, and it was not that busy. Hopefully the weekends pick up soon! I'm dying here!

Double tomorrow...

Monday, November 26, 2007

If today had a face, I'd punch it.

Today was turtle-slow. "Oh, a table"...20 minutes later..."oh, a table" money...AND...I worked a double. The longest day ever, and it rained on and off all day. Gloomy. Yucky. I guess I would have stayed home too.
At shift meeting this afternoon, they made some announcement about changing tip-share. We pay A LOT of money in tip-share. I know I have expressed my hatred for bussers. I think they should become extinct. But, who am I, but a lowly peon below corporate eye-level. Whatever. So, right now, tip-share is: (I know I just posted something about tip-share, but this is just a friendly reminder.)

Food runners = 2% of FOOD SALES
Bussers = 1 1/2% of FOOD SALES (if there is one on); 2 Bussers = 2% of FOOD SALES
Bar = 5% of LIQUOR SALES

Now, they are talking about changing it to:

Food runners = 2% of TOTAL SALES
Bussers = 2% of TOTAL SALES (even if there is one on)
Bar = 1% of TOTAL SALES

I talked with my GM, because I tend to be the liaison for the other servers who don't want to approach him and ask him about the changes that are taking place. We have a right to understand what's going on, and he always tells me stuff, but sometimes I wonder how much of it is smoke going up my ass. Who knows.
Today, he told me that the bussers are now REQUIRED to buss the entire table. I don't know if I've explained this before, but usually we are responsible for pre-bussing everything, and if there is a plate or bar glass left on the table when the busser gets there, he/she will leave it on the edge of the table after wiping the table down. It's annoying because sometimes, when guests ask for boxes (rather than having me box it for them), it's difficult to pre-buss; then, the busser goes, and stacks everything up, neatly, on the corner. Ugh. Well, now, apparently, they are instructed to clear EVERYTHING. Okay, it makes me feel a little better.
As for the bar...We have a "bar minimum" each day. In the event that we don't have any bar sales, the bar minimum accounts for any kids drinks or N/A drinks throughout the shift. If we were to change the policy, we would give the bar ONLY 1% of our sales, even on Friday or Saturday. Saturday nights, the bar minimum is $5--if we were to change the policy, and my Saturday night sales were only $300, I would owe ONLY $3. So, it could work in our favor sometimes.
I don't mind tipping the food runners because the work really hard and they do A LOT. I give them, on average, 3%, sometimes 4% depending on the day.

I think they are changing stuff just for the sake of changing stuff. And NOW, that "suit" that was in last week said some negative stuff about us; however, we all have voiced our opinion on that one day, and the GM is going to have some kind of meeting with the CEO because he was pretty upste to hear how she treated us that day. So, I guess that's something. But, it will all wash out. Nothing will happen to the suit. She'll be safe, waiting in the wings for her next opportunity to condescend the little ones beneath her.

I worked with chill people today, so even though it was slow, there was good company.

Off tomorrow...lunch Wednesday (I'm trying to pick up a dinner shift.)

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Saturday Night

I went in to work in total "work mode." I was ready for success--I needed to make AT LEAST $100--easy enough for a Saturday, right??

Saturday's are usually really steady during the mid-shift so cuts are not put up. They may cut doubles and let them get a break, but that depends on the flow. It was pretty full when I arrived. My section was nearly full (I had one open table), and the lunch staff was still finishing up their tables, so they hadn't really started any side work. (And, it annoys me that no one can "stock as they go." It makes no sense to me why you wouldn't just grab ONE bucket of ice instead of running to the other wait station in the back of restaurant! Ahhhhhhh!)
So, the place looked like shit. I started cleaning and stocking--"success" still a strong motivator. I get sat at my only open table--yay! I greet them and get their drinks, but then I notice the new stupid hostess girl seating a table in a section that doesn't have a server yet (the server didn't come in until 5). I go up to her and tell her that the server will be in at 5, and she should not seat that section, but I'll take the table (cha-ching!). Then the SAME fucking girl, seats ANOTHER table in that section! So, I greeted that table too, since the hosts weren't going to any measures to find someone else to take the table. Well, as soon as I turn around, they are seating my second table in my section--four tables in about a seven minute span got me off to a weeded start, and it didn't end for a VERY long time. It was soooo frustrating. I KNOW I was a bad waitress to some tables tonight, but it happens sometimes--It's inevitable and uncontrollable.
Soon after the relatively, quadruple seat, I was sat the other two tables in my section.
Perhaps my getting weeded was Karma's way of telling me that I was being greedy by not finding someone else to take that second table. Oh well.

The Most Fucked-Up Table of The Night award goes to:

Family of Four, The "I hate everything on the menu" Lady.

What a fucking looney toon! I greet the table with big smiles--mother, father, daughter, and daughter's boyfriend. Daughter and BF I've seen before, so I welcome them back, and I offer them drinks. The mother is studying the menu, "I can't believe my family made me come here! They know I hate spicy food." Without missing a beat, I reply, "That's not a problem, we have several items on the menu that aren't spicy, and some of the items that are spicy, we can remove--here, let me show you..." I proceed to give her some ideas, burgers, salads, this and that, and she is completely closed off to everything--and of course, the only thing she's showing ANY interest in is the hottest stuff on the menu--and it's listed as such. When I showed her the burgers, "Uck, I don't want a burger!" So, I showed her the salads, "Oh, no, I don't want a salad." She was being impossible, so at that, I just said, "Okay," and walked away to get their drinks.

I went back to that table four times before she decided on what to get. I brought her samples of shit. I offered to remove things, substitute this for this. We have four side items to choose from, two are spicy, and then we have a sauteed vegetable medley and fries. Well, when I tried to tell this woman about our delicious medley, she gave me a disgusted look, "I guess I'll just have the fries."
Her daughter apologized for her! That is sad. You're a mother for crying out loud--I know people are picky, but in our restaurant, it's so easy to modify shit if you just open your mind.
(I know people who modify shit are sometimes a pain in the ass, but I'd rather just take the time to get guests what the really want, rather than listen to them bitch--besides, you get them what they want, they'll get you what you want ($$$$)...most of the time.)
I even told her that a lot of our regulars don't care for spicy things. She scoffed at me. What a bitch. Then, they left me a whopping 18%...Happy Holidays!

Sales: $566
Liquor sales: $85
Tip-Out: $27 (Bar = $5; Food Runner = $12; Busser = $10)
Tips: $92 (Boo.)
Off tomorrow...Double Monday.

Friday, November 23, 2007

"Bitter...Party of One!...Bitter, Party of One!...You're Table is Now Available!"

Yup. It was that day. Again.

I can't lie--I hate waiting tables. I am good at it. But I hate it. I do it for necessity. It's the easiest and fastest way to make money--once you've waited tables you'll NEVER be unemployed (at least in my area). So whatever. Here's the gripe of the day...

Black Friday was anticipated to be an extremely busy day (we are close to shopping malls and the major interstate, so chances were good we'd have a decent crowd). So, all week, I went around asking ANYONE if they wanted me to work for one would give it up. So fine. This morning I woke up and realized how filthy my house is (family was in for Thanksgiving and things always get crazy, and usually something gets broken), and thought it was kinda good that I didn't have to work tonight, I could get some shit done. This is the mentality I went into work with...pleased that I was simply closing lunch.

So this guy came up to me, maybe an hour or so into the shift, and asked me to work for him tonight. The day started off slower than normal, and I wasn't really feeling it, you know? I just wanted to make my 50 bucks and go home ($50 was my minimum goal for the day). So, I told him that, but I did hem and haw a little because I really did want the shift in the beginning of the week--and who doesn't need the extra money?? (It's just a little hard for me sometimes when I don't physically sign up for a shift in advance...I don't's all's all in my MIND...uh, sorry about that.)
Moving on...
So, he told me to think about it, and then I heard him telling a manager that he had one potential person to take his shift...that rubbed me the wrong way because I was irritable and annoyed that he didn't just let me take the shift when I asked him for it two days ago. Regardless, I thought about it for a bit, and the day wasn't getting any that much busier, but it was steady--well, no busier than an average Friday.
He came up to me again about 20 minutes later with wide eyes, "Well, whuduya say?"
I gave him a kind of pathetic look, "I don't know man, I'm just not feelin' it, I said that before. I think I'd just like to get out of here...and I'm closin' lunch, so I think I'm just gonna roll."
"Alright, well let me know." He walked away. I got back to work, and, it felt like three seconds later, that he was taking dishes for me, asking me if I had changed my mind.
I had to come up with something quick, "I really should get some shit done, and I think my sister needs me to take my niece." (Oh, yeah, I pulled the kid-card...what?)
He took my dishes, and said, "Well, did you want to call her?"
Who is this guy?
Fine. I needed to call her anyway because she has two kids and the youngest (10 mos.) had a 102 temp last night, so she took her in to the Children's hospital. I needed to check on her anyway. So fine.
So, I'm on the fucking phone and this jerk-off is standing right next to me, so I give him this "What the fuck are you doing?!" look, and he walked away.
(The baby is fine, she is just having a really tough time cutting teeth; they did a chest x-ray--the whole nine yards.)
I got off the phone and he was on me like a fly on shit--"Well?" he said hopefully.
"She needs me to take my niece, sorry man." After that, he left me alone, but then he put a price on the shift...I know money talks but tonight, I just wasn't hearin' it. Call me stupid. I worked soooooo much last week, I thought I was going to shoot myself. I need to clean my house and relax...maybe I'll sleep (I think I've gotten about 6 hours of sleep in the passed two nights).

Needless to say, mid-shift was steady. I was in my favorite section (three four-tops and a six-top). My food sales were $385, and I made $80 (after tip-out)...I'll take it....home.

A Day Late and Everyone's Short...

The "suit" stuck around the store for three days. When I saw her car there the third day (Wednesday), I was astounded--"suits" never stay that long!
Okay, fine. Maybe it won't be that bad...Boy, was I wrong.
Because she's the server manager lady (I really don't know her official title), she was involved in that morning's shift meeting. She decided that we were going to play a game. This surprised me because this is the only restaurant I've worked in that doesn't play reward games (for up-selling, no promos, etc.). Anyway, her game was focused on refills...

Standards for the restaurant state that we must refill the glass at 1/3 full without asking, throughout their entire meal--not a big deal. Refills are always a topic of standards, right? But the thing is, our cups are GIANT--no, really. "Oh, my, now THAT'S a coke!" or "Wow, I'm going to float out of here!" or "Could you find a bigger glass?" I get something to that affect at least twice a day. So, my system runs like this--If I've already given them two or three, I ask; but, if the fat man sucks down more than two diet cokes before his meal, he will get them constantly (and obnoxiously) throughout. :)
Okay, so this bitch informs us that we are no longer permitted to ask guests, we must simply bring them a refill, and if she catches one of our tables without a refill, then we're "out." Whoever is left "standing" at the end of the shift gets a prize (a $5 gift certificate to Dunkin Donuts. woo. hoo.).

This "game" didn't piss me off initially, until she started stalking my section!!

At one point she said to me, "You're not going to let me get you, are you?" I replied snootily, "Nope," turned up my nose and sped passed her, on a mission to refill all the the WORLD.

She just wasn't playing the game right. She was being condescending and patronizing, rather than supportive, hoping that ALL of us gets a "prize." A lot of servers were annoyed with her. She would run up to them laughing, "I got you!" and shit like that. It wasn't motivational, it just made us quit so she would lay off.

At one point, I had a full section, but everyone was okay, and I noticed a huge mess around the appetizer station, so I started to clean. Mind you, I had a two-top of gentlemen who had finished eating nearly 30 minutes prior (ugh), I had refilled their drinks four times, and I was annoyed that they were still sitting in my section (and they hadn't paid yet).
So, anyway, as I'm cleaning the app station, the "suit" walked over, bent down to my level (I was cleaning the shelves under the station), and proceeded to "Nanny-nanny" my "boo-boo" and tell me that the man at #114 needed a refill. At first, I thought she was talking about the other guy, who was finishing the iced tea in front of him, "Oh, he has a full iced tea next to him." She says, "No, the other gentleman." I look and find that the guy with the diet is a little less than half-full and is ready for his FIFTH (she had no idea how many he'd had, or how long he had been sitting there, she just wanted to get me OUT). Fuck that.
I was pissed also because I was cleaning up a huge mess that someone just LEFT, and I get OUT of the fucking refill shit because of it...I really didn't want the "suit" to win. Bitchily, I said, "It sucks that I was cleaning up after someone else..." (or something to that affect, pretty bitchy, annoyed, and simply unmotivated to do ANYTHING for this lady). So, I stopped what I was doing (mid-mess) and got the man, who sat at my table for two and a half hours and tipped me $4 on $23, another fucking diet coke. I went about my business for the next few minutes, and as I'm up at the host stand, she approaches, and I start to flee, "Alright, I'll let you slide--this time!" she sneered. I didn't even stop walking and said, "I really just don't care about it that much." So, I was OUT.

I know I sound like a COMPLETE bitch through this whole ordeal, but she just picks and picks and picks, and she's pretty familiar with our store, so she's comfortable with us, as we are with her. We have a rapport where we can say stuff candidly and it will not really be taken into offence. If I had screamed at her (like I wanted to) or ripped her face off (like I wanted to), then, yes, I would have been fired...But that didn't happen...this time...

Monday, November 19, 2007

Cryin the Blues...

Today was poop. I went in not wanting to close lunch AT ALL. I worked nearly 45 hours last week, and today's shift was right in between my days off, so I was unmotivated and a bit cranky. When I got to work, one of my co-workers asked if she could close for me--YES!! So, for a little while, all was good in the world, until my GM came gunning toward me, finger pointed in my direction, "I need you to close," he says as he breezes past me--no explanation, just an order. Ugh. "What do you mean?" Oh, I was soooo upset.
It turns out that the hostess had to go home (due to personal issues), and the server who was going to close for me was pulled to the host stand. I wasn't mad at any one, I was just disappointed by the situation.
In addition to that, a "suit" dropped in, just to "check up on us" as she was passing through town on her way to a meeting up North. We get that from time to time; although, usually, we are warned...this time, it was a surprise for everyone! Yippey! That meant no smoke breaks or snacks during the shift...not the end of the world, but just something else that added to the mood of the day. Blah.
So, the restaurant was gorgeous, since we were so slow, every thing was stocked and cleaned long before shift-change. After that, I colored a kids' menu to pass the time...I'm so happy to be home!

And it's cold, raining, and shit-tastic outside. Boo.

Off tomorrow....double Wednesday.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

A Long Ass Day

Today was a long fucking day, but towards the end, my delirium sent me into a whirlwind--I was working with fun people, and we got a little crazy. It was actually pretty fun...did I just say that?? :)

I closed lunch again, and the tables I had during mid-shift really annoyed me--I had visions of kicking this one lady in the throat (pretty graphic, I know--waiting tables can be pretty intense).
Son sits down first (very androgynous, maybe 13 or 14?), he orders a milk. Dad sits down, orders an iced tea for himself and a diet coke for his wife, who has yet to arrive. He orders an appetizer, I get drinks, la, la, la. Then she arrives--Succubus (who can guess that reference?). Before her ass even touches the seat, I hear her say sweetly-ish, "Did you order me a water?" When she can clearly see the gigantic diet coke sitting in front of her...
So, when they're ready to order, she orders for the table (I must say, I HATE when one person orders for the table--there's a guy who comes in with his humongous family and orders for them all--I just always have questions, and I feel weird asking the person who's ordering about the other person's feel me?). Back to the Succubus at 103, "The boys are sharing blah...and I will have..." --she starts to order, but I cut her off --"two sides come with that entree, fellas," addressing them as if they were human, "would you like blah, blah, blah, or blah." Every time the son tries to tell me what he wants, the mom cuts him off because she doesn't understand that it come with two sides, and I just keep repeating myself until I want to smack her on the side of her head and knock her straight. She shuts up finally, and I say to the kid, "Did I hear you say fries?" Well, the mom looks up from her menu and says, "Me?" No, not YOU! I think I actually chuckled a little bit. (And, she would only let her son have milk throughout their stay--he had four...)

At the same time, I had the guy who comes in all the time and makes something completely different out of certain menu items...he's weird and he jumps every time I approach the table quickly, like I scare him or something (he's probably fucking with me, but he's pretty good at making it look real...I don't know...maybe he's real paranoid).

I averaged 18% tonight--not bad.

Closing tomorrow night...

...sleeping in tomorrow morning!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Ghost Town

It's real dead in the restaurant right now. I am looking forward to my lunch shift on Black Friday--the holidays do bring out the people, but not necessarily the tips.
There was some staff drama tonight, which I really hate, but I'm not going to get into it right now.

I did have some interesting tables tonight...

1st up--Drinkless
Table sits down, I offer drinks, and the woman at the table automatically assumes I'm trying to sell her liquor (which tables often do), "Oh, no," she chuckles, "I'm fine." She points to her gentleman friend who orders and iced tea and a margarita. I offer her water or tea, "for now," and she still turns me down.
I bring drinks, apps, another margarita for her friend, and the meal comes. Now, my restaurant is known for its spicy menu, so I again offer this woman a beverage, to which she still refuses. They eat peacefully--I bring him another tea, and she remains drinkless. Typically, I would have just brought a water, but since she specifically told me "no," I didn't want to be pushy. Weird, but nice, and decent tip.

2nd--Team Miserable
Three top, parents and child (girl around 12). Mother and father have been in the restaurant before, but I've never seen the girl. I walk up all smiles, and get nothing--only the girl says "hello." They somberly order, and sit in near silence while waiting for their meals. Every time I walk by or check on them, the girl is the only one to respond. Never once did the table crack a smile--you're out to eat for crying out loud! Ugh.

3rd--Surprise Surprise
Two young parents (early 30s) and toddling daughter. They were cool, polite, and the dad ordered several margaritas. They were low-maintenance and friendly. They left $10 on $38, and just as I was thinking, "What a nice surprise on a slow night," I turned and saw the mess their child left on the floor under the table. It was horrendous! But, at least they compensated for my efforts after their departure. I was pleased about that. Not many people know the rule: Either clean up after your child or compensate the person who does.

4th--Tough Guy
Three-top of gentlemen (two older and one early 30s). As they are ordering, one gentleman orders the hottest item on the menu, so I make him aware of this (like I do for all patrons). He asks, "It's not like, ridiculously hot, is it??" I explain sweetly that the pasta used in the dish is made with chilis and the sauce is extremely hot, and I tell him that it's considered to be the hottest dish. He says he's goin to give it a try anyway, even though he looked reluctant. Fine. So, when I bring out their meals, I inconspicuously bring a glass of water as well. I place it on the edge of the table just in case. I don't even mention it's presence--I've seen people choke because of the spice in this dish. So, fine, I deliver the food, and when I go back to check on them, I ask him how he's makin' out, and he says, "Who's that for?" as he points to the water. So I explain that I brought it for him, and he says, "Oh, I never touch that stuff; and this," he points to his dish, "this is warm, no where near spicy." I guess he told me--and his ultra-masculine friends. He's the guy who ordered a Miller Light Draft after I told him the bottled beers that we offer. Gotta love it.

Double tomorrow...

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Behind the Poll

The poll is a very random question that sits in the back of my mind, and has for years. I'm not sure when I thought to ask it, but it occurred to me once I did, that I didn't even know someone who knows someone that's been on a game show. That was very odd to me. There are a gabagillion game shows, game show contestants, and game show hosts, and we don't know someone who knows someone that's been on a game show?? least, I thought it was weird.
Well, yesterday, at work, I asked my manager, and he actually listed three people he knows that were on a game show (Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and DoubleDare)! I was astonished! A fellow-server standing nearby, knew one person who was on Gutz (Nickelodeon obstacles show on years ago).
So, I'm going to keep asking, with or without the poll--just thought I'd see how it did.

Thanks for voting!
you love emoticons too!!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I Can Buss Can You?

Today was chill...slow. Beat. Real Beat. I was an open-close lunch-double. Yay. But, there was a pretty cool staff on, so that made it tolerable...if only 'tolerable' paid the bills...

I'm annoyed with my restaurant because of many things, but today my target will be the tip-out policy (mainly focused on bussers).
Fuck tip-out.
We have bussers, food runners, and the bar to tip out on a daily basis. The bussers get 1 1/2% of food sales (if there's one--on Friday's, when there's two, the tip-out is 2%), food runners get 2% of food sales, and the bar gets 5% of liquor sales (if you have no liquor sales, there is a tip-out minimum that must be paid). It fucking sucks.

I can buss my tables faster than any of the bussers who sneak around all night text-messaging or flirting. And, because I'm paying someone else to do something, I'm certainly not going to do it unless it's absolutely necessary.
It definitely makes for lazy servers, but I'm just playing their game. I understand that people are lazy and won't buss their tables so they won't get sat and shit like that, but that's when management needs to crack down and make some consequences--the tables will get bussed...
I just don't think bussers are necessary. And...we're responsible for pre-bussing, which is fine (I do it regardless), but if we leave any plates on the table (or bar glasses), the bussers will stack them on the corner of the table after they've wiped it down. Gay. Real fuckin' gay.
Tonight, the busser-kid was allergic to my section, and it pissed me off because we were DEAD! (Management actually made early cuts, and I was on the road by about 8:00--not too shabby.) I finally went up to the busser and asked him if he wanted to earn the 2 bucks I was giving him (which was generous, now that I think about it). Anyway...he then asked me what section I was in, I tell him, he chuckled and said, "Oh yeah, I haven't been over there for a while." I just looked at him and said, "Thanks." He's out. Management has been on him already. He's pretty fucking lazy.
Every restaurant I've worked in before this one, I've been responsible for both bussing my tables and running my own food. I don't really mind the food runners because they do a lot more than the bussers...they earn their tip-share.
P.S. I'm officially addicted to emoticons...teehee...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Snoozeday Tuezday

So, I opted out of picking up a shift today--and from what I hear, it's a good thing I did. I typically have off Tuesdays (part of a new schedule), and because I was sick, I thought I'd pick up. There weren't any house shifts and no one was really searching...
So I slept. And, really, I hate when I sleep all day--it's really a horrible habit. And now, with the time change, sleeping late really means that you get so much less sunlight. I spent the few hours I had outside, so that makes me happy.

So, since I bailed on working, I'll give you a "Blast from the Past"--out of my trunk from serving for a chain years ago...

At the time this story takes place, I had been with the company for about three years. Friday and Saturday nights I would close the restaurant. I was in a four table section, but always picked up extras for those lazy know who you are...
So, this particular Friday night I had six tables, but they were sat sporadically, so I wasn't really was nice. I don't remember all the tables but one was a four-top (three black guys and a girl). They were not very polite, but I remember my other tables being relatively low-maintenance, so I wasn't letting the one table bother me too much. They always needed something. New silverware, more napkins, tons of lemons, more napkins, extra plates, split checks, yadda, yadda, yadda...
At one point, I walked into my section with the intent of visiting each table, and while I was checking on one table, my back was turned to the infamous four, I suddenly felt a tapping a little below my shoulder. I'm sure my eyes were widened with anger, but I politely excused myself for interrupting and turned to the impatient patron sitting behind me. "You, sir, have just lost your turn."

At that, I reached in my apron, pulled out their four separate checks and placed them on the table, turned and resumed taking my polite table's order.
They left promptly, paying the bill, but leaving no tip. (In fact, I was shocked they paid the entire bill, given the pennies strewn across the table.)
I wasn't even upset about no tip. They were annoying--and one of them poked me! Fuck that! True story.

Monday, November 12, 2007

A Case of the Mondays...

(that phrase never gets old...)

Today was actually a pretty decent day. The hostess (very green to the restaurant business, but has a good heart and isn't jaded on the biz yet, so she's still enthusiastic about her job*) kept my section full during a Monday lunch. The holiday didn't really affect us until later...
Management decided that because it was a holiday, he wasn't going to put cuts up as early as other Mondays. (In this particular restaurant only one 'cut' goes up and 3 servers are left to close out the lunch shift.) Granted, the restaurant was pretty full, but I think it looked a lot busier than it actually was, but whatever. Finally, at 2:30, he decided to make cuts, but he left two extra servers on in case of a pop. Okay. I had two tables. Uhhh... It died pretty hard. At 3 he let the others leave, and the place was nearly empty. The three of us each had one table-ish (I think one of the others had two, and the bartender had maybe two guests). Then a 14-top came in, and it went to another server. That was it. Poop.

*Funny thing about that hostess is that she is always smiling, but she's not annoying, she's just young (I'm 28, and I'm guessing she's probably 16 or 17) and innocent and ready to have fun and meet new people. She's hysterical because when guests are leaving the building she nearly projectile vomits her salutation--she says it AT them. It's really funny. She's pretty slow and still doesn't really understand the way restaurants work in general, so I've taken her in--like I do for all the rookies--to make sure that she is told the right way to do shit. There are some servers who will tell rooks anything (but that's a whole different tangent**). She's a good one. You know them when you see them. She takes initiative, helps the servers, etc. She's got my vote.

**I am listening to November Rain right now and it is fucking awesome. I remember how good it is every time I hear it.

Get Ready...

I have to pick up 'mad' shifts this week (I missed a couple days last week--I was soooo sick...). Anyway, I'm sure the next week will be filled with many delightful episodes for your reading pleasure.

Stay tuned...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Saturday Night

Sometimes I wonder if people realize that part of my job is to speak--to them! What the fuck?! Some tables go to great length to continue their conversation in spite of my presence. Let me do my job PLEASE! Don't they realize how much smoother dinner will go if they just let me do my job? I'm tired of getting talked over, under, to, and otherwise.
Tonight two of the tables (in my already measly four table section) got pushed together for the "big top wait" we were apparently on (then doesn't it figure that we went on a "small top wait" later...upper management are thou out to kill me??).
Anyway...oh, yeah, they pushed two of my tables together for a six top, and I was pleased to see that it was all adults. Until I greeted the table and realized there was a dumb ass teen with them too. So, everything started out fine, even though the teen had taken the stage for the outing and had the entire tabled enamored with his juvenile antics. Regardless, the rapport was decent, then I started to get annoyed. Once I dropped the appetizer, I nodded to the two ladies and told them I'd return with their refill, then I separately nodded to the teen and told him the same. He looked at me, but obviously was too enamored with himself to even hear me because ten seconds after my words exited my mouth, he says, "And, uh, can I get another water?" As he points to his half full tumbler of water. "Yup, I got it..." I say sweetly-ish. Then all I could do was walk away.
The kid kept doing that same thing all through dinner. I'd say, "I'll go grab some extra napkins for you." and he'd say, "Uh, can we get some napkins." No one was laughing, so I really don't think he was trying to be smart--I just think that no one at the table was listening either.
Then, after I bring the check, and I'm walking away with their credit card, the stupid teen motions that it is the girl's birthday. Ugh. I have to deal with them for even longer because it's going to take me a minute to gather a crowd, and we didn't even have balloons tonight. Had the table told me prior to running their VISA, I would have offered them the birthday cake and done the whole schpeal (not that that wouldn't have been equally as annoying, but you know). Getting news like that at the close of check throws off the whole balance of things. Whatever. I gathered like four people and quickly sang. The girl was red-faced, and shaking her head, pointing to the other girl, as if to say it were her birthday to take the attention off of her, but it was too late, the song was sung. How fucking annoying. Then, to top it off--$8 on $52. Boo.
That was the only REALLY annoying table--wow. I hadn't thought of that. That's pretty good. Although there was a small portion (about an hour after cuts went up) of the evening that I spent digging through the garbage for my fucking book--you know with all my credit card slips...luckily, I keep all my cash in my pocket, but without my cc slips, my manager cannot charge them for the tip without their signature--I would have been out of $100. I was freaking out! I NEVER put my book down, so that had me even more boggled. Finally I began to think that I had been checking the other servers' side work, and sometimes I take my book out to use to sign their check-out slip. So, I must have given it to a server, and they just haven't realized it (but, again, I didn't think this until post-garbage swimming). I check the few remaining girls, then I see that one has TWO books in her pocket. It's funny, and I can laugh at it, but I would have been pissed if I didn't find it. I do wonder how she didn't know that she had two books in her pocket--it makes life a lot thicker. But, she is new, so whatever.
Off tomorrow. Lunch Monday...

Saturday, November 10, 2007


Last week when I was closing lunch, a group of four kids came in (at least 15 or 16)--I was busy and didn't feel like dealing with them, so when they ordered kids meals, I didn't ask for i.d. or give them a hard time. I just wanted my table back. Once they were through asking me for extra sides of sauce, different dressings, and multiple refills, they asked for their treat. At this point, I really just wanted them out of there, so I brought their treat and their check. They left the cash on the table, and I didn't realize until after they were out of the lot that they hadn't tipped me. Not that I could have done anything about it anyway, but whatever.
So this week, the four kids came in again. When I saw them approaching I told the hostess that I didn't want the table, she gave me this look and told me that it was my turn. I quickly told the hostess what they did the last time, so when the group asked for kids menus the hostess replied, "are you 12?" The group didn't seem fazed by the hostess, who let them have one kids menu. Well, what the fuck does that do--giving them ONE kids menu--they can still order off of it. They can order off of it without the fucking menu.
My whole thing with kids meals is that if that's what they want aren't we supposed to give it to them? Isn't that what it's all about? When the 85 year old woman orders chicken fingers, am I supposed to deny her? I think not. I know these are punk ass kids, but I feel that it should be equal among patrons. It sucks that they don't tip, but they definitely won't tip if they aren't allowed to order off the kids menu--in fact, they may have just left, and then I would have had my table and no hassle.
Anyway, so they sit in my section, they order their adult-sized sodas, (which I decided to charge them for), their kids meals, and their treats. When I give them their check, they are flabbergasted at the amount that lay before them, and they confront me. Last week was not their first time here, they've been to our establishment many times before, and they've never been charged for drinks. They weren't "warned" they girl says to me. Fine. I'll get my manager. It is obvious also that these kids ONLY have enough money for the exact amount of the bill without drinks or tip for that matter.
My manager approaches them, they talk, he agrees to take the drinks off this last time...but he never takes them their check. So, the kids leave--I am completely avoiding their table, and they short me. There isn't even enough for the bill.

At Least Call Me Miss...

As I sit here to start this blog, my mind is flooded with all the topics I want to discuss--put your hat on kids, this is only the beginning...

At least call me 'Miss'...

When I worked for a corporate restaurant, it was required that servers introduced themselves by name. During that time, it irritated me that people couldn't take the time to read my name tag, so conspicuously placed on my chest, and called me "Ma'am"--at least call me "Miss." What the fuck? I know I'm a waitress, but does that automatically make me a 60-year-old by the name of Flo?

Well, now, I'm currently being held captive at a smaller company, that is becoming more and more well known on the east coast (that's all I will reveal). This company does not require its servers to introduce themselves by name--it's actually kinda cool. I simply walk up to the table, bringing our complimentary appetizers (which always makes people happy--instantaneous food), smile, ask the table, "How's everyone doin' today?" and start them all with drinks. If a table wants to know my name, they will ask.
Even though I do not provide my name to all tables (sometimes with families, I introduce myself to make the kids feel more comfortable with me--a tactic I learned in the army), it still does not give people license to call me "Hey" or snap their fingers at me. A friendly wave, that's fine; and when I respond to that wave with a friendly nod, please put your fucking hand down--the nod means I saw you. Idiot.
Anyway, when I greet a family, and I do provide my name, it infuriates me when the parents say, "Alright, Timmy, tell The Nice Lady what you want." I don't know why it infuriates just does.
I wait on a lot of businessmen, and it especially irritates me when they call me "Ma'am."
It's this and a whole lot more that has made me what I am today--a bitchy waitress.