People who say they are "Ready to Order" when they, clearly, are nowhere NEAR "Ready to Order."
Because I'm such a geek and addicted to blogging, I make notes throughout my shift to remind me of what I'm supposed to blog about. So, this afternoon, two older women came in with a toddler. He was cute as hell, and the ladies were sweet, but you could tell they were ready for quick, and not patient enough with me or themselves for that matter. After I delivered their drinks, she tried to tell me that she was ready to order as she was opening her menu. (We have a ton of regulars, so this isn't unusual), then she proceeds, to search the menu, "Oh, now what was it that I wanted...Do you have something like this, but it tastes likes this?" What?! "If you'd like I can give you another minute?" "Oh, no, honey," the other chimes in, "we're ready..." she's saying this as she's trying to speed read faster than superman to read ALL the options on the menu...As I'm standing there, I start to scribble in my notepad because this is RIDICULOUS! I just jotted down: Ready to order--sike! Stupid bitches have NO IDEA!
I have to try to rationalize this type of behavior. I personally think that people behave this way because they have a fear of abandonment. They think their server will go away for a couple minutes and never return. I know this happens, but having your server stand there until you're ready makes him or her neglect other tables. One day, bitches, you will be the "other table" and you will have no right getting impatient when you, too, are culprits!