Today was a long fucking day, but towards the end, my delirium sent me into a whirlwind--I was working with fun people, and we got a little crazy. It was actually pretty fun...did I just say that?? :)
I closed lunch again, and the tables I had during mid-shift really annoyed me--I had visions of kicking this one lady in the throat (pretty graphic, I know--waiting tables can be pretty intense).
Son sits down first (very androgynous, maybe 13 or 14?), he orders a milk. Dad sits down, orders an iced tea for himself and a diet coke for his wife, who has yet to arrive. He orders an appetizer, I get drinks, la, la, la. Then she arrives--Succubus (who can guess that reference?). Before her ass even touches the seat, I hear her say sweetly-ish, "Did you order me a water?" When she can clearly see the gigantic diet coke sitting in front of her...
So, when they're ready to order, she orders for the table (I must say, I HATE when one person orders for the table--there's a guy who comes in with his humongous family and orders for them all--I just always have questions, and I feel weird asking the person who's ordering about the other person's food...you feel me?). Back to the Succubus at 103, "The boys are sharing blah...and I will have..." --she starts to order, but I cut her off --"two sides come with that entree, fellas," addressing them as if they were human, "would you like blah, blah, blah, or blah." Every time the son tries to tell me what he wants, the mom cuts him off because she doesn't understand that it come with two sides, and I just keep repeating myself until I want to smack her on the side of her head and knock her straight. She shuts up finally, and I say to the kid, "Did I hear you say fries?" Well, the mom looks up from her menu and says, "Me?" No, not YOU! I think I actually chuckled a little bit. (And, she would only let her son have milk throughout their stay--he had four...)
At the same time, I had the guy who comes in all the time and makes something completely different out of certain menu items...he's weird and he jumps every time I approach the table quickly, like I scare him or something (he's probably fucking with me, but he's pretty good at making it look real...I don't know...maybe he's real paranoid).
I averaged 18% tonight--not bad.
Closing tomorrow night...
...sleeping in tomorrow morning!